<p>I believe the only option for my D is to go to our in-state college (the less competitive one) Although she was accepted to very good private colleges and received merit $$, we won’t be able to afford it. So at this point, I’m trying to figure out how to improve the quality of her education once she’s attending a in-state college or maybe a CC. Any feedback would be appreciated.</p>
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<li><p>Go to class. Every class. Even if it is easy for her. Sit in front row. </p></li>
<li><p>Take up profs and TAs offers of stop by to chat. Do so. Many kids will only do that the day before the test. Ask about the stuff they didnt have time to go over in class. Ask about cutting edge stuff. </p></li>
<li><p>After getting feet wet see if any need research assistant. If she is top of class, why not.</p></li>
<li><p>If she plans on transferring, she must get excellent grades. </p></li>
<li><p>If she has any friends that go to more difficult schools, see if they have any web based classes or material. If she is taking same classes, look at what they are studying. In effect, consider it independent study, so if and when she transfers to Flagship U., she knows what they are studying.</p></li>
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<p>I can only imagine how difficult this is for you, when your D and you have both done your best, and she may be going off to CC. Tell her to keep her chin up and view these two years as a journey and not a destination.</p>
<p>Seek out profs who are doing interesting research and who come from top Ph.D. programs in the area of interest to your D. Doing well, combined with excellent recommendations from a respected prof (and yes there are many at tier 3 universities), can often get a student into the same graduate programs as those attended by students from top tier universities. I have a close friend who teaches at a lower tier state U (loves the location and life style) who has never failed to place his preferred students in top graduate programs.</p>
<p>Stay positive and pro-active. I attended my local state school when my dad got nervous about finances (he was sending 3 of us off to college in a 3 yr. span.) There, I met someone who’s dream was to attend Harvard. He got in but couldn’t afford it so he got his business degree from state and then applied to Harvard for his MBA, got in, received merit $$. So, he fulfilled his dream, afterall!</p>
<p>My wife went to lesser known colleges. She got involved in college debate and was very successful, defeating teams from much larger, more established, and nationally known universities. She established relationships with professors from whom we still get Christmas cards and write from time-to-time. She got top grades and top recommendations.</p>
<p>Grades and recommendations translated into her getting into University of Florida’s law school (from which she graduated with honors and on law review) as well as a Rotary Foundation scholarship to study a year at University College London (a world class university).</p>
<p>Any college experience, small or large, is what you make of it.</p>
<p>kayf and idad, thanks so much for the suggestions and tips. At this point, I’m concerned about the quality of education that my D will be receiving, and how she’s going to react to the new level of academics. Now, she’s in a highly competitive academic environment. Most of her classmates go off to highly selective colleges, Ivies, etc., but we don’t have the $$. My main concern is how this new environment is going to affect her? she’ll be not exposed to the high of level competition from her classmates or high academic rigor from her instructors. But I have the hope that she’ll be able to find a way to get a high quality education. We don’t know yet, but maybe she’ll want to transfer if she attends to a CC. Or maybe she goes to a 3 tier college and then goes to a top graduate program.</p>
<p>Thanks senior’s dad and lilmom. Maybe I’m an overprotective parent. I worry that she’ll get involved with the wrong crowd or that she lowers her academic standards. I think it’s easier to have high academic expectations when one is around people who all are hihgly competitive. I’m trying to find a way to help her to keep her motivation and high standards once she’s attending the in-state.</p>
<p>First: most public universities have an honors program. I highly recommend she applies to that.</p>
<p>Secondly: IMHO it is time you trust the job you have done as a parent and know that whatever she is faced with, she will succeed. The “wrong crowd” attends both private and public schools. Kids need to learn how to deal with it.</p>
<p>A good friend’s family was in the same position as you describe. Their D, a very good HS student, could not afford to go out of state and ended up at a regional state U. What seems to happen is that like attracts like. Her friends were all bright and accomplished students who all ended up doing very interesting things. Friend’s D is now finishing a Ph.D. at a top private in a program ranked #1 for its discipline. She has won many awards and scholarships and was the editor of the proceedings of two important conferences and has several publications. She could not have accomplished more in her field as a graduate student if she had attended Harvard (where some of her less accomplished classmates did attend).</p>
<p>Yes, even our local CC has an honors program where they can spend a semester at Oxford. </p>
<p>She will likely count her profs and TAs as her freinds and have more access to them than she would at Prestige U. </p>
<p>She will have to make her own life more than her friends at Prestige U. If she will be living at home, perhaps she can also pick up serious money tutoring HS kids?</p>
<p>You’ve got great suggestions…and I heartily agree…especially in developing relationships with professors and pursuing research opportunities. A year or so ago here on CC someone said that to look at it as such: Compare being just another guest at the Ritz to being a VIP at the Holiday Inn. Sometimes it’s not so bad being treated like a VIP. And in today’s economy, you certainly won’t be alone in your predicament. H and I both went to no-name non-flagship state U’s and did pretty good for ourselves. Those college professor relationships greatly helped both of us land way-above-average positions out of college.</p>
<p>There are students of all abilities and intellects at all schools for any number of reasons. You have gotten good advice about her staying engaged and involved. Absolutely she should ensure that she is in the honors program if available. If she is well centered and self driven, she will be successful. There is always the possibility that very good high school students will “fall apart” when they get to college, regardless of the caliber of of the college. You read posts regularly here from parents who are struggling with that scenario. Her attendance at a perceived lesser school probably won’t increase or decrease those chances. The fact that she attended a rigorous high school will only make the transition easier for her. No more, no less. The worse thing you could do is to “downplay” the school your daughter is going to. That is the absolutely worse thing you could do. Be excited for her and help her find a good launch pad within the context of the school she will be attending. If she is as bright as you claim, she will be embraced by the faculty and the school. For yourself, take the time to look at the bios of the profs at the school she is attending. Look and see where they got their undergrad degrees and terminal degrees. Make sure you look at some back alumni magazines and see where the students are 1, 5, 10 years out. Find out how large the class sizes are, how many classes are taught by the profs. If there are TAs. Those things will tell you alot about the colleges/universities. Finally, you could do the CC route to save money if your daughter is willing. While I know less young people who have gone from CC to a private school, I’ve personally known many who have gone from CC to flagship universities both in-state and out.</p>
<p>It can depend on what courses and programs your child is taking that can determine the peers and level of instruction she is getting. My son is going to a state university that is definitely not top tier. It also has the problem that a lot of the larger state schools do of large classes, and a lot of students who are not way up there in stats. But his program is highly competitive and does not reflect the acceptance numbers of the rest of the school as are a number of programs at the school. The department is also very small so he gets a lot of attention. It is a whole different situation being in that major than a more generalized one at that college.</p>
<p>So it is with many colleges. My good friend was traumatized when her son was rejected from a school that accepted nearly 90% of all applicants. Well, he applied to a highly selective program within that large school where only 12 kids were accepted, and those kids were golden. Every bit as pedigreed in terms of stats as many kids in the most selective and highly academic schools. You can find this troves in any college. It may not be possible to immediately gain entrance to such programs or courses, but the eye should be on them as the student takes the intro courses to qualify for entry. There are some schools that may take nearly anyone but have highly coveted programs in a number of specialties.</p>
<p>In addition to these suggestions, use at least some of the money that you save to pay for enrichment experiences like private music lessons, a semester (or two) abroad (every school has them these days), travel over spring break or an internship instead of working. These extras won’t cost nearly as much as the tuition at an expensive private school, but will give her some of the exposure to activities that the wealthy kids at those private schools enjoy.</p>
<p>thanks so much for your responses. It really helps me to have a better ideas about in-state.
This statement from momof3 got me thinking. " If she is well centered and self driven, she will be successful. "
I’m not sure she’s self driven. I remember I had to be on top of things when she needed extra help. For example for a science class, I had to get a tutor for her because she didn’t feel comfortable with her instructor. I think he wasn’t nice enough. Later, when she got in a more advanced class, she got a very nice instructor. And she didn’t have trouble looking for her instructor during office hours to ask questions. Does she has the personality to be in an environment where there are so many students and not all the instructors may not be so nice? I don’t know.</p>
<p>You may need to give her encouragement if she finds herself in that situation. Back in the dinosaur ages, when I really DIDN’t like a professor, I’d still make a point to meet the professor, ask pertinent questions about the classwork, and even get some background from the professor about him/herself. Sometimes just humanizing – getting to see them as someone, NOT just a talking face at a lectern, can make things better. And sometimes, it just doesn’t, and then you need to encourage tutoring, seeking out older students who’ve had the particular class before, or TA’s, or grad students, etc. Good luck!</p>
<p>All of the recommendations so far are good. Other avenue to explore within your child’s school is <em>which</em> courses to take.</p>
<p>Aside from the courses required for a major most schools also have “core” requirements or “distribution” requirements - courses, or at least subject areas - that all students are required to take. Some schools have very loose requirements, some schools have very specific requirements. Careful selection of which courses to take to fulfill those requirements might help to achieve the world class education you’re looking for.</p>
<p>If you think you’d prefer what might be considered “classic” or “traditional” courses (i.e., math, english, literature, history, etc.) as opposed to what might be considered “Progressive” courses (i.e., women’s studies) then the next time you’re in a bookstore or library look at the book “Choosing the Right College: The Whole Truth About America’s 100 Top Schools.” That book recommends traditional core courses for each school listed. </p>
<p>If your daughter’s school is one of those covered in the book you’ll have a starting point, at least, for selecting courses outside of her major to help round out her education.</p>
<p>thanks astrophysicsmom. Agree D nees to learn to find a way to make a difficult situation a little bit easier. And, I think it’s time for my D to get some “street smarts”.</p>
<p>winchester, thanks. I’ll search for the book.</p>
<p>Your daughter will have to take her OWN initiatives in college. This is not the time for parents to intervene and find tutors and make sure work is completed. Please don’t think I’m being harsh…but your daughter is very likely to have at least one professor in her college years who isn’t “nice” in her eyes…but who may also be a fabulous expert and teacher of their field. There IS a difference.</p>
<p>The state universities offer excellent educations. There are more and less challenging courses of study. There ARE options for enrichment that your daughter can find herself at these universities. There are fantastic clubs and other organizations that stretch the student beyond what they are learning in the classroom. Depending on where she is going, there are sometimes community activities that can do the same.</p>
<p>Your state university likely has some outstanding programs.</p>
<p>And agreed with others…there are some VERY bright students at these universities for varieties of reasons. If your daughter didn’t apply to the honors college as a freshman admit, her school may allow this after one or two semesters there with a certain GPA.</p>
<p>It’s not the end of the world to have a student attend a state university. In fact, for some, it opens up horizons that they might not otherwise have even thought of.</p>