How do I convince my parents to let me go to the college I want to go to

<p>Hi! So I'm going to college in the fall and I really want to go to Marquette University. However, my parents don't want to send me out of state (and it's really not a problem because it's only an hour's drive from where I live). They want me to go to University of Illinois at Chicago. I don't want to go to UIC, but I don't know how to convince my parents to let me go to Marquette instead.</p>

<p>have you been accepted at both?
Is $$ a factor in why they prefer one over the other? Because private colleges can be a LOT more expensive than state colleges- as in hundreds of THOUSANDS of dollars more, you may have to come up with better reasons that make more financial sense than "I really want to go" for them to pay more.</p>

<p>I have been accepted to both. I've checked Marquette is about 16000 a semester while UIC is about 8000 a semester. But I've a $6000 scholarship from Marquette per semester while I get nothing from UIC. I'm trying to come up with better reasons. I'm even applying to Marquette's honors program and pre-dent program so that they'll let me go there.</p>

<p>Do you plan to commute to Marquette? Maybe you should ask your parent(s) to accompany you on a college visit. Perhaps that will help you to show them why Marquette is your preferred school.</p>

<p>If money's a factor it's not fair to expect your parents to pay extra just so you can go to an out of state school. You could offer to pay the difference (2000) and then there would be no reason for them to say no.</p>

<p>My parent's policy was Ivy League level or in-state. Out of state is just too expensive unless it's a significantly better fitting college.</p>

<p>With the scholarship, Marquette is still $4,000 more expensive each year. That might be a bigger difference than your family can afford. Run all of your numbers through this handy calculator from our friends at FinAid.org, and talk the results over with your parents.
FinAid</a> | Calculators | Award Letter Comparison Tool</p>

<p>Without knowing what their objection is exactly, we can't give you advice on how to address their concerns. Everyone here is speculating that it's about money, but it doesn't sound like that's necessarily the issue. If it's not money, what is it?</p>

<p>Mary:</p>

<p>I agree with the other posts that you should elaborate more exactly why they don't want you to go to Marquette, and whether you would be living there or not.</p>

<p>Nowadays, you could probably arrange your schedule that you would only have to drive to the school, from home, two or three days a week.</p>

<p>And perhaps elaborate exactly why you prefer one over the other.</p>

<p>They don't want me to go because they don't think the area is safe. Money was the main reason before I got a scholarship (the difference between the two schools cost I will probably work out). I did take them on a tour today but they are still not convinced to send me there.</p>

<p>I prefer Marquette over UIC because it's a better school. They're both good schools. I just think I would be better off at Marquette and I have a chance of getting into their honors program while in UIC I don't because they have an ACT score requirement which I missed by a number. They're both located at a city, but that makes no difference for me.
I don't want to commute because I just want to stay on campus (basically close to my classes). For UIC I could live in an apartment in the city but at Marquette I can live in a dorm.</p>

<p>Perhaps you could speak to, or email with, a Marquette admissions rep about safety (and any other concerns that your parents may have) at Marquette. </p>

<p>To make such communication most useful, first speak calmly and nonjudgmentally with your parents. You might say something like:</p>

<p>
[quote]
You are saying that a main concern about Marquette is safety. I agree that safety at a school is very important to consider. Have you heard bad things about safety at Marquette? What have you heard? I would like to give Marquette a chance to respond to concerns about safety on their campus, and I will research the issue/contact them and I will let you know what I find out. What other concerns might you have about Marquette?"

[/quote]
</p>

<p>In this conversation with your parents, do not contradict them. Just listen and then get actual evidence that bears on their concerns. </p>

<p>If you want them to keep in mind that you might be right, you must do the same...you must keep in mind that they might be right. Find out their concerns, marshal the evidence fairly, and then talk again calmly and nonjudgmentally with them.</p>

<p>Maybe your parents are not calm and nonjudgmental and fair? Even so, you must be calm and nonjudgmental and fair.</p>

<p>Do not rush. Do not expect to change their minds overnight. Rather, think of having an ongoing conversation in which you gather evidence relevant to their concerns. Is there a reason to rush to commit to UIC or to Marquette? If not, you have until May 1.</p>

<p>All campuses have safety statistics. Ask for the statistics for both campuses and compare them. </p>

<p>Frankly, I would think living on campus in a dorm is considerably safer than in an apartment in a city. Being in the honors program vs. not being in the program would also be highly persuasive (make sure they understand the difference).</p>

<p>Finally, if the issue is being in touch with you, introduce them to Skype. Then they can talk face to face with your whenever they need to (which is probably more often than you need to, but you can wean them over time).</p>

<p>You may even want to consider whether your views on the two colleges will change if you find out that there are indeed greater safety issues at Marquette.</p>

<p>If what they have heard turns out to be true, you might end up agreeing with them that the other school is the better choice.</p>

<p>The important thing is to find out whether there really is a problem.</p>

<p>And at the same time, you may want to find out whether the $4000 a year would be a problem if it turns out that the safety issue is not. You might end up having to agree to borrow that much money -- $16,000 over four years. That's not a huge amount of student debt, but it is something to think about before committing yourself.</p>

<p>Also, have you visited Marquette? Although the information you can get from the college is one source of information, you might also pick up some valuable information about safety from a visit -- and make sure your parents visit, too, either with you or separately.</p>

<p>I like ADad's suggestions and those of others who have recommended you get safety statistics from each school. It surprised me to hear that your parents view the UIC campus as safer than Marquette's, as they are both urban campuses (unless your Ps have done the comparisons themselves). If you end up at UIC, you might see if there's a way to petition for admission to the honors program (or if you can get in after you've been on campus and maintained a certain GPA).</p>

<p>The government requires that crime statistics be reported for colleges. Go to their website to review: Page</a> Not Found</p>

<p>They may be concerned about the lack of response and follow up to athlete rape allegations. You can research that issue in the Chicago Tribune. I'm not sure how to respond on that, but at least you'll know facts.</p>

<p>Also, have you visited both a couple times, talked to students, attended a class, checked ECs, looked at other statistics to be sure you think you would prefer Marquette?</p>

<p>Thank you all so much for your help! You've all made me open my eyes and see this through my parents point of view as well and I will try to convince them over the next few months. Thank you all so much.</p>

<p>Mary, I am a Marquette alum, and also spent a lot of time on the U of I campus during my college years. At Marquette I made lifelong friends and got a decent (not fantastic) education, but frankly, my UofIC friends can make the same claim. Have you checked "**************s.com"? I was surprised by the reviews of MU these days, and have heard of a few recent students who transferred out. I don't know about UIC. I guess my advice would be - before you get too hung up about the relative safety factors of the two schools, I'd look pretty closely at the curriculum, the campus life, and happiness of the students. (Back in the day, I had a great time at MU socially.)</p>

<p>I guess they didn't like me citing another website -</p>

<p>Students reviews</p>

<p>Maryformarquette: if your parents want you to go to UICC because of "safety", then pack your bags for Marquette, because the schools probably have identical crime profiles, because they have same urban character and general configuration. I'm at UICC campus area nearly everyday, have a close friend working in UICC's administration, and read local community paper (worth accessing online, if possible). Same crime profile occurs at both campuses: opportunistic young black men robbing students as situation presents itself, whether by strong-arm, intimidation, or displayed weapon, usually outside in public areas. Crimes can occur in daylight, during morning or afternoon rush, on bus, or subway platform or car, or at night. Rarely do you get seriously hurt; it's quick, but you might get hit. Both campuses require vigilance by students, but not overwhelmingly dangerous per se. Don't display your I-phone, I-pad, or I-pod; use commonsense. Don't walk into a group of menacing "non college-student-looking" teenagers.</p>

<p>Spend some time reading Second City Cop blog site, which reports on Chicago police department, crime, and politics. There's just as much street crime occurring along the Michigan Avenue retail corridor. Read up on flash mob activity (not the dancing sensation). If you like Marquette and can bridge the cost differential, you might as well go there.</p>

<p>TAke time to thank your parents that you have this challenge. It sounds like they love you and want college for you. Not every teen has that level of support.</p>

<p>They don't want me to go because they don't think the area is safe. Money was the main reason before I got a scholarship (the difference between the two schools cost I will probably work out). I did take them on a tour today but they are still not convinced to send me there.</p>

<p>==========</p>

<p>???</p>

<p>I'm not familiar with exactly UI-Chicago is...but if it really is in Chicago, is that really in a "safer area"???</p>

<p>And, it usually safer to live "on campus" (marquette), then to live off-campus in an apt. I think everyone might agree with that.</p>