@toomanyteens good luck to your family. Being a parent is really tough. Being a parent on CC is tougher… Lol.
Something to check out and hopefully I don’t get to beat up for saying this. If he/she is a minor that might be a violation of the housing agreement. Not that she is 17 but he is a minor. Also there are cases out there that one of them turns 18 before the other… Is caught together… One can be tried for statutory rape and be labeled a sex predator. There are things like this now out there in the current news. Sad but true.
@Knowsstuff - Another thanks for the post. It’s tough to navigate through this. I would like to hear how things are going for everyone as well.
My S (who still has HS senior GF about an hour away) - has made a group of friends including his roommate, their room is the hang-out room because they have “good decorations and lighting.” I think he has been back to see GF once per weekend except during orientation, but don’t ask and am open to hearing about what he’s up to generally so he’ll keep talking. I love to hear the fun he’s having with his friends on campus.
We think he is a catch and don’t want him to limit his choices now (like the guy who broke it off when she thought he was going to propose - ugh).
I love hearing all the stories - the GF parents were willing to buy a car, that’s over the top!
@toomanyteens I am not saying to report anything but as people here say… As an adult she should know the consequences… I drove up to see my girlfriend at that age and we are married 31 years but the relationship was encouraged by both families and just the way it was. We did break up for a year but still kept on contact. I hope if things continued that he is a nice guy and treats her well.
@1399HdJ… I get educated daily on this site and just try to add some advice to help when I can. I was on this site just peeking and learning for like 2 years or so. It was really helpful as we were looking for colleges and advice. I have been rewarded with students pm-ing me and thanking me or telling me the advise I gave or contact I gave they think that’s what got them accepted etc. The thank you is the actual reward. With all the bad news daily there are really good kids and families out there and a ton of great colleges to go to. All this research really opened up my mind.
I can see your point in not wanting him to be a part of move in. Most universities have programs for the students the evening of move in day. They want the parents out of the way and the students to mingle. Driving 6 hours and moving in would allow little time for your D to spend with her significant other and usually there is not enough stuff to move in that another person would be desirable. If he drove separately and chose to stay the night he would have to stay somewhere (the young man wouldn’t be staying with me) and staying in the dorm on her first night there would be very bad form. Unfortunately, you will have marginal control over what occurs after you leave. Six hours is far enough that it would make frequent visits very inconvenient.
One of the things likely to be discussed on move in day is roommate agreements. This usually involves discussing things like overnight guests and how such things will be handled. I for one would want a limit on overnight guests.