<p>The safety issue is just as bogus as one where Drexel is a better school. The Pennsylvania Uniform Crime Reporting Act requires schools to give statistics on these things. </p>
<p>Here are the latest crime rates for each (reported, as required, per 100,000 Full Time Equivalent students). Type I Offenses are essentially the violent crimes.</p>
<p>Here are the specific totals for Type I offenses.</p>
<p>Murder
Drexel: 1
Pitt: 0</p>
<p>Rape
Drexel: 0
Pitt: 0</p>
<p>Robbery
Drexel: 34
Pitt: 8</p>
<p>Aggravated Assaut
Drexel: 20
Pitt: 7</p>
<p>Burglary
Drexel: 62
Pitt: 23</p>
<p>Larceny/theft
Drexel 355
Pitt 339</p>
<p>Motor Vehicle Theft
Drexel: 11
Pitt: 0</p>
<p>Arson
Drexel: 4
Pitt: 0</p>
<p>And Drexel is half the size of Pitt.</p>
<p>Your mom really has no legitimate arguments about quality or safety between Pitt and Drexel. There is nothing: Drexel is not better, it is not cheaper, it is not safer.</p>
<p>"But, quite honestly, if Pitt is only gonna cost 11 k/year, I think you could handle that debt on your own. " - That kind of advise should probably come with more backup info and caveats. I suspect parent signature would be needed. And yikes, that’s a lot of debt, especially if with loans without deferred interest/payments.</p>
<p>Sorry, I haven’t read all the posts… but it seems that this is all about your mother not wanting to let go. To let you go. Have you said to her something like, “Mom, I’m sorry it hurts you to see me leave, but it has to happen. I’ll always be your son and this will always be my home even if I’m a few hours away”. </p>
<p>Maybe a priest or minister could talk to her. She’s scared of losing you as you grow up. Ironically, she’s losing you more now by being so unreasonable.</p>
<p>I don’t have any updates yet. I think my mom is slowly giving up her fight because I’m not planning to cave in. However, my grandparents called me, and put a massive guilt trip on me. They said that if I leave my family and go to Pitt, they will rethink their perceptions of me, and that I will also “leave a hole in their heart”, how if their parents asked them to go to something, in this case going to a college of their (the parents) choice, they would do it in a heartbeat. Everyone thinks they know what’s best for me, but don’t care to listen to what I think is best for myself.</p>
<p>Relieved to see your post, IPH, I have been wondering how your week is going. Sorry to hear about the grandparent pressure, your mom is pulling out the “big guns”. You have to decide for yourself, of course. But your grandparents surely don’t have any more information on the comparison between the colleges than your mom does. </p>
<p>My guess is that if you go to Pitt, by the time you graduate they will be proudly telling everyone about their grandson who goes to Pitt. It may take them a while, though. If you end up at Pitt and are having a hard time there, you better come out here and talk to us Because I don’t think you will get a sympathetic hearing at home…</p>
<p>I feel so bad for you. It seems your grandparents have controlled your mom all her life, and now are trying to do the same to you. Sending courageous thoughts your way.</p>
<p>Oh it’s better than that. Your grandparents taught your mom how to shmear on the guilt. Just remember: you are not a bagel. </p>
<p>Families talk. If Mom chooses to vent to her parents, that’s her business. If they jump in to make a gratuitous unsolicited call to sway you, that’s their business. </p>
<p>No need to make it your business. Keep us posted.</p>
<p>In some families, people just move forward by acting and others catch up with them later. I think that’s what Inparent means. Do what is right for you and prosper; they’ll be proud of it in time. Meanwhile, stay centered.</p>
<p>P.S. Also, I’m sorry, but nobody moves from Russia to the U.S. without “leaving a little hole” in someone’s heart – their parent (your great-grandparents…); their siblings who stay put; best friends…but they go. </p>
<p>People MOVE. Someone in your ancestry, sometime within the past century, made just such a choice. An ocean, not a cross-state drive, now divides them. I’m sorry about holes in hearts, but you have a heart too. I loved all my passionate, Russian-born grandparents; but they absolutely didn’t know much about higher education choices, geographic realities, transportation options, technology for communication. I’m sure it felt bad to hear them talk like that, but I hope you don’t let it change your thinking in any way, not even a bit, except to feel a bit sorry for them. With elders, I always respect and listen ONCE to their stated opinions.
They’ve had their chance to express themselves. If it comes up again, all you need to say is, “I know how the g’parents feel; I heard what they said. I took it into consideration but have the same conclusion about my best choice for education.”</p>
<p>Your posts have a theme about people “not listening to you.” Remember you can listen to a grandparents’ thoughts but not agree with them or abide by their wish. That IS still listening, where listening means “taking in their point-of-view” not “agreeing.”</p>
<p>Stick with it man. Keep on doing what you’re doing, explaining the situation with facts. You love your family, and you respect your parents and grandparents. But you’re the only one who really understands the situation. In the long term, they’ll understand as well.</p>
<p>Very impressive that you’ve done the work, made an informed, mature choice, and that you’re sticking to your position. I’m rooting for you, and I still believe this will work out.</p>
<p>Pulling for you and anxious to hear an update.</p>
<p>I think Drexel is a very fine school as compared to Pitt. I don’t think you will be giving up anything academically, however, I believe living on campus and being on your own is as much as an education as the academics.</p>
<p>Once this decision is made, don’t look back. Prosper!</p>
<p>It would be great if you could talk your parents into Pitt. Living in the dorms and making new friends is a big part of the college experience. </p>
<p>But if not, remember that you are still lucky to have parents with the desire/ability to pay for Drexel. If it makes you feel any better, there is a very talented Russian student from our hs that is commuting to college. (In that case it could be finances. But I think the stats could have generated nice scholarships elsewhere).</p>
<p>Congratulations! When you have a minute, please do update us on how you reached your decision and whether your parents are now (at least hesitantly) on board. But most of all, best wishes to you for a very happy and successful time at Pitt, and best wishes also to your parents as they begin the adventure of being parents to an adult son.</p>
Because I don’t think you will get a sympathetic hearing at home…</p>