A group of us bought tickets to an event. Once we rounded up a large enough group, the tickets were discounted and each of us expected and were promised a rebate of $50. The woman, I will call her Randi, who booked the tickets lost her job after buying the tickets but before the event.
So we are all at dinner and another woman said " A group of us think we should let Randi keep the $50 each as appreciation for booking us these tickets". No attempt was made to ask the rest of us what we thought of this. We were just blindsided and made to look cheap if we disagreed.
Now to be plain. It is not the $50. (Not that I think booking the tickets was worth $50. It isn’t. The tickets can be booked with a 10 minute phone call.) It’s that a promise was made and broken and is expected to be forgiven because of Randi’s financial situation.
What do you all think? Randi, BTW, is not the only who is newly unemployed.
Yes. It was very uncomfortable. I would never expect my friends to pony up money if I were in financial trouble. You just don’t treat friends that way.
So a few were in agreement to let Randi keep the money. But at least half were not.
I think Randi probably put ‘other woman’ up to this. When the tickets were distributed I said “And we get a 50 rebate because of the group number, right?” Randi said, “Yes, if that’s what you want to do”. I jokingly said something like “Yeah, I’ll buy a new top for the event”. But she was clearly insinuating something else.
Wow, if she actually engineered the whole thing that is crazy. My mind just does not work that way - if I lost a job and needed another right away, I would be focusing on that task. I certainly wouldn’t be scheming to get funds from the ticket rebates of my friends. Very Machiavellian approach.
And I agree that the friend was out of bounds putting people on the spot like that. Perhaps that $50 rebate was the only way some in the group could have afforded the ticket. Very odd situation all the way around.
I also would let it go due to the amount involved.
“A group of us bought tickets to an event. Once we rounded up a large enough group, the tickets were discounted and each of us expected and were promised a rebate of $50. The woman, I will call her Randi, who booked the tickets lost her job after buying the tickets but before the event.”
If I were judge----“Randi” needs to pay for her ticket as promised.
How she obtains that money is her business. Either pay up or through the charity of friends.
The ticket price with group discount included was the initial deal. to buy the tickets from the start.
She agreed. She pays.That doesn’t change.
If people in the group want to help support her since things didn’t work for her financially then it is up to them. Consider it charity and a nice offer but not necessary for the group to “pony up” for someone else.
I’d rather not lose friends, but would friends do this? If I don’t say anything, they will think they can walk all over me anytime. If I do say something, I’ll be badmouthed behind my back as being cheap and uncharitable. It’s a lose/lose situation.
I have been in a similar situation. I don’t think you can be tactful, but I do think you can state your case clearly, not necessarily looking for a remedy (refund). Just say something like, “There were several of us who were quite surprised by the announcement that we would not be receiving the refunds that were agreed when the tickets were booked. If Randi had approached us for help, I am sure arrangements could have been made that each of us would have been comfortable with. Instead, we were treated with no consideration for our personal financial situations. I hope there will be such assumptions of our positions in the future.”
I wouldn’t approach the situation in this manner unless I was prepared to lose friendship with members of the group. If I wanted the group activities to continue, I’d stay quiet and make the decision to just forget it - the latter for my own sanity. You are definitely right to be burned up!
They “will” walk all over you? They “did” walk all over you. It’s all up to you whether or not you want to keep these friends. That’s what this is really about. I’d call Randy and get my $50 back. And not attend the concert.
^^^^
No, the $50 is a rebate for the group discount. So why would she not go to the concert when she has already paid for the ticket? The $50 rebate is not refunding all that she paid.
Recognize what these “friends” really are. They will talk behind your back - and consider themselves friends??? They will continue to walk all over you - and are friends???
You can, mentally, take charge of these relationships. I don’t think it’s necessary to back out of the group if you don’t want to. But, do be wise and continue the relationships with eyes wide open. When there ceases to be benefit to you and your happiness or the happiness of those you care about, be prepared to walk away.
My daughter was in a similar situation…after the announcement, she politely took the person aside and told them she could not contribute an dictionary amount of money. It did not score any points…but she got her money back. The person actually said “well…ill give it to you if necessary” to which my kid responded “whatever it takes…I just need the money myself”.
^^totally agree with @Momofadult here - wise advice.
This is probably not the hill I’d choose to die on, but on the other hand I would be on “notice” with this particular batch of people to be more mindful of their way of handling things.
“so why would she not attend the concert” @HarvestMoon1 I meant that I would not attend the concert. Personally, I can’t stand to be around people who I can’t stand to be around.