How do I tell my parents..

<p>As I lamented previously, I am having issues with my top tier LAC. It is just not working. I also feel that I am not even close to getting my (parents) and my money's worth. I really feel like transferring. Due to money issues, the only other option would be an Honors College at a local university that most of my friends go to.</p>

<p>So how do I tell my parents I want to transfer. Should I wait until after Christmas? Should I do it soon after I get home on break</p>

<p>What is there to be gained in waiting?</p>

<p>Tell them now. It really isn't a big deal. The sooner you tell them, the sooner you can get on with your transferring plans. Why ruin your Christmas by worrying about this? Just tell them today and relax about it. It's going to be OK.</p>

<p>Do it shortly after you get home...</p>

<p>You don't have to sprint in the door saying "Hi mom - I want out" - but shortly thereafter would be best - gets it out in the open and over with...</p>

<p>Speaking as a parent, I say broach the subject as soon as possible. This will give them time to digest it and perhaps be "over it" come Christmas and you can all look forward to making new plans. As a parent I only hope my son will include me in such momentous decisions and not feel like he should spare me the angst. Sure, they may be initially disappointed (or maybe not, maybe they have suspected for a while) but I am sure they will have your best interests in mind and will appreciate that you are asking their opinion and advice.</p>

<p>They weren't the most thrilled with the choice I made in the first place. I got to go there because it was a "dream" school and because I got some merit aid.</p>

<p>As a parent I would want you to tell me ASAP.</p>

<p>As a parent with 2 kids in college, I suggest talking with them now. Explain your reasons (not a good fit for you, decided you would feel more comfortable at a school with some of your friends, might as well save some money on tuition, or whatever your reasons). If they fire back with a bit of "I told you so", don't fight back. Just acknowledge that now you understand their point of view much better. This will soften them (:)) The sooner you have this conversation with them the better for everyone. Everything will settle down in a day or two and then you and your family can happily enjoy the holiday season.</p>

<p>I think your parents (and you) will deserve some well-articulated reasons why the fit is poor, what steps you have taken to address them using the colleges resources, and what your specific goals in a transfer will be.</p>

<p>The reason I say this is that there is a significant percentage of freshmen who simply miss home and have trouble adjusting. That's fine and the answer to that may be to transfer home where your high schools friends go to college. But, at the very least, that is a different issue than a specific poor fit.</p>

<p>Have you met with the Deans or school psych counselors at your current college? That's kind of the first step in sorting these things out.</p>

<p>Are you holding your own academically where you could return with the scholarship for the next semester and see if things even out after a rough first term? Ditto in re: being able to transfer to the honors program at the local school.</p>

<p>As a parent, I would want to know so we could start brainstorming a variety of solutions. It may not be as binary a decision as you think.</p>

<p>Back when the dinos roamed...I was a student at a small LAC my freshman year. At the beginning of the second semester, I decided I wanted to transfer at the end of the year. I applied to one of our instate public universities...completed all of the paperwork for the transfer, and got accepted. My parents were fine with the decision. After all...THEY weren't going to college, I was.</p>

<p>I would just tell them. I'm not sure why this would be an issue.</p>

<p>You should tell them. You don't want them to have paid the second semester tuition bill. They may not get all of it back if you do not return.</p>

<p>As to the scholarship question, I am doing fine academics-wise. Definitely enough to keep the scholarship.</p>

<p>Much of my angst comes from the drinking culture at my college. It is ironic that one of the other colleges I picked it over was because that college had a drinking reputation.</p>

<p>At the university honors program, I have many of my good friends from high school that are non-drinkers. Also, it is really close to home. </p>

<p>I just feel really isolated on the campus. When I went to a info-cession, someone asked what students do on weekends. The response was that they spent much of their time on academic matters. THIS was what I wanted.</p>

<p>I'm not saying it would be better at the Honors College, but it would definitely be cheaper. My parents and I have had to go through a lot of sacrifices for me to go here. It just does not seem worth it.</p>

<p>rc, this exact thing happened to my best friend's daughter last year. After being at her small LAC for the semester, she was really unhappy and wanted to transfer to the state school closer to home. She worried about talking to her folks because they had sacrificed alot for her to go to this school. </p>

<p>She bit the bullet and told them, only to find out that the mom was ready for this conversation. She was well aware that her daughter was unhappy, can't keep those kinds of things totally under wraps, and all she wanted was for her daughter to be happy. So, the decision was made to transfer.</p>

<p>Now, this girl is happy as a clam at the state school and mom and dad are saving tons of money by paying public school rates.</p>

<p>Tell your parents. They probably know you are unhappy and I'm sure they want the best for you. Even if it is uncomfortable at first, once they get over the initial response, they will warm to your wishes. </p>

<p>Good luck! Know that you are not the first kid to find out that the "school of their dreams" was not what it was billed to be, and transfer out.</p>

<p>sounds like you have really good reasons to want to transfer. I would contact the Honors program administers and be SURE you could transfer into that program next year. Just be sure entrance into the program is not reserved for incoming freshman only</p>

<p>your state school may be happy to get you. make sure to emphasize your willingness to make the most of the resources at the state school and assure them you will take initiative and not slack there...Fit is after all a very elusive has fits and starts...lots of puns therein. </p>

<p>be happy and hard is short...I hope you have a happy sophomore year and rack this up to a life experience...</p>

<p>"parent yourself" the way you would parent your own hard working son or daughter at this juncture...surprise your parents by being balanced in your views of your LAC..and fair to it..while sticking with your personal preferences and awareness of what is best for you.</p>

<p>I know that it is not just for Freshman. Actually with all of my credit from AP (that current LAC is stingy with) and with credit from LAC, I will probably go in with well over a year of credit.</p>

<p>Tell your parents ASAP. If I was paying big bucks (taking on debt?) for a school where my kid was unhappy, and they thought they could be happier at a cheaper school, I'd have no quarms at all about them transferring.</p>

<p>Well, I would definitely have qualms about my kid choosing to transfer to a school that most of their high school friends were attending after only one semester because of "a drinking culture." Why? Because many freshmen are homesick. Because MANY schools these days seem to have "a drinking culture." Because transferring back to the well-known HS social milieu may seem awfully attractive in the short run, but may not be the best thing in the long run.</p>

<p>Nevertheless, I would want my kid to open a discussion with me on the subject of their unhappiness, and possible solutions. In some cases, transferring may be the right thing to do. In others, toughing it out in the new environment and taking concrete steps to find new social connections may be the best thing.</p>

<p>It's not just the drinking culture, but that is part of it.</p>

<p>I feel isolated from most other people. I also feel that for the large $ my family is paying, it really isn't worth it in the end. </p>

<p>I have taken steps for social connections. I have joined a bunch of clubs, but most were disappointing.</p>

<p>There is also a weekly discussion table for my major. Usually only 3-5 upper classmen show up. Two weeks it has been me and a couple of professors.</p>

<p>I have always had a LOT of trouble relating to kids my age. I thought it would change in a group of my intellectual caliber. Guess not.</p>