Lack of support is a common complaint. I’m not sure we even know what kind of support we really want. When something really tough happens, I don’t think we know just what will right our leaning ship. Even if a friend is tremendously helpful, the pains can continue. Just don’t be hard on yourself, while you look for the new balance.
I have gone through a divorce in the past year and come out the other side, and now I am coping with an even more difficult and painful situation, with no reason to hope for a good outcome. Certain coping strategies are coming naturally, but I’m not sure they’re all positive. On the bad side, overeating (comfort food) and too much vegetating with Netflix. On the good side, scheduling exercise classes and lessons a few days in advance that I am pretty much forced to go to when the time comes. And I am an expert at denial/compartmentalization - not sure if this is good or bad. I do not talk about my problems with most people in my life, so much of the time I have to act as if nothing is wrong and sometimes this allows me to feel that nothing is wrong for short periods of time.
lje62, one thing I know is that it is not useful to compare levels of pain. My current situation is worse than many but not as bad as some. It is still devastating for me. I can understand that the loss of the future you’d imagined is painful. I’m sure you’d visualized future years with the young man, future grandchildren, holidays.
My sympathies to all of you who are experiencing pain.