How do you deal with people who are against gays?

<p>I have absolutely no problem with them. I have gay friends and they are perfectly fine. I recently had an acquaintance say something some might find offensive. I held my tongue and now I regret it. I really want to tell this person off. How do you deal with people who are against gays? How would you have reacted if you were in my situation? What would you do?</p>

<p>I honestly wouldn't say anything. I've been in the same situation multiple times and although I definitely don't add to the bashing, I don't say anything either. The truth is, most teenage guys are immature and ignorant and I'm sure they don't want a preacher telling them they're wrong. Just let it go.</p>

<p>^ That's all fine and dandy until someone kills themselves because nobody ever spoke up against the bigots.</p>

<p>You don't really have to go all preachy, and you don't have to insult them. The severity of the comments should dictate your response - anywhere from a simple "knock it off" to a stronger condemnation of his statement.</p>

<p>There's nothing wrong w speaking up. All you have to say is "hey that's not cool don't be so homophobic..."
I've called out a few people for being jerks before and they didn't attack me or anything. They did realize they were wrong though when I did call them out. </p>

<p>Just let them know it isn't okay. I don't believe in staying silent especially if it is someone you know who is saying such things that you find offensive.
If it is a stranger saying it then that's a different story as you have no clue how they'll react to you putting them in their place. </p>

<p>Sent from my iPod touch using CC</p>

<p>How about you don't say anything unless there's an actual issue.</p>

<p>When you try to "correct" somebody else's beliefs, you only add fuel to the fire.</p>

<p>^ How about words being an actual issue?</p>

<p>Either way, only speak up if you think it's worth it. I know we all want to save the world, but when it doesn't work out (99% of the time) it's disheartening at best and infuriating at worst. But as the annoying person who always rambles extensively about these issues, I'm being a hypocrite.</p>

<p>You ought to be more specific, though. What exactly did this person say? It's different dealing with aggressive, direct homophobia than with privilege-denying straight folks, for example.</p>

<p>If you stay silent, they will probably think you agree. And you will feel uncomfortable, as you know. If someone goes on about some homophobic, sexist or racist nonsense, it is best to firmly let them know it is offensive. No debating or preaching is needed.</p>

<p>Uhh you better find a way to deal with Santorum, cause he may just have won all 3 primaries.</p>

If it is a non-serious joke then you should maybe be like "hey, not cool" or something like that. Sometimes you just can't say something thought.
If it is actually violent, rude homophobia, something needs to be said. I know someone who is bisexual (closet) and suicidal because of all the things people in the small homophobic town she lives in say. I was with her once and her some pretty offensive things, and lets just say it wasn't good for her to hear them.</p>

<p>@dfree124: Not even sure how something like that happens. How are so many people stupid enough to vote for him???</p>

<p>Homophobes make me really mad, so I usually shoot back with one of these:</p>

<p>"Why don't you blame the straight people for making the gay babies"
"If you don't like gay marriage, don't get gay married." (Saw that last summer in NYC) </p>

<p>Of course, every situation is different. Like, some places they might beat you up for making a sarcastic counter-remark. So be wise, my friend. :D</p>

<p>Stop putting stock into the opinions of worthless individuals. If everyone did this it wouldn't be a problem.</p>

dfree124: Not even sure how something like that happens. How are so many people stupid enough to vote for him???


<p>Dunno, he's such a bigot.</p>

<p>If people are saying stuff like "that's gay" and using it in the derogatory sense I get sort of annoyed but I figure I can't really improve their habits by pointing anything out so I don't say anything. If they said anything blatantly meant to be offensive I'd probably tell them to cut it out, then it would lead into some debate, then I probably would stop being their friend if their convictions were that bigoted.
Thankfully I generally am not friends with/avoid people who are advocates of the Westboro Baptist Church, or at least anyone who makes a point to bring up how much they hate gays all the time.</p>

<p>@aubreygal- I feel like you may not want to use the first line or comeback that you mentioned...saying that one should "blame" straight people for having gay babies implies that being gay is a bad thing, and while I know that this is not what you meant, the person you're responding to with this statement might not :)</p>

<p>I usually don't "tell them off" but I do say things like: "Hey, that's not funny." Or "That was really rude." I don't want to come across as too assertive.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, homophobia tends to tie in strongly with extremist religion.</p>

<p>To cure homophobia, you must first cure the God Delusion.</p>

<p>I pick my battles. If I think the person just doesn't realize how hurtful their comment is, I tell them (politely). If they're genuinely homophobic (or overall a jerk), I don't say anything.</p>

<p>First of all none of my friends are bigots, and I try not to associate with them. But if I do come across someone who's homophobic I will speak up. If they say "that's gay" I'll just say something like "hey that's rude" or "how is that homosexual?" or something. If theyre actually in a full on rant... Then yeah I'll pretty much always get into a debate with them. I can't stand bigots, seriously.</p>

<p>Serious inquiries here.</p>

<p>75% of the male students that I know in my school, including me, would say "that's gay" to something that obviously is not homosexual and not think twice about it. However, I, and possibly almost everyone else that says this phrase, am not homophobic. I have a few gay friends, and I couldn't care less about their sexuality.</p>

<p>That being said, how is it possible to change an entire culture of language and essentially unlearn a phrase that is repeated 7 to 10 times by hundreds of thousands of students every day?</p>

<p>I think the answer is this: we cannot change this generation, and maybe not even the next, or the next one after that. It is important that as future parents, we drive into their heads the idea that using the word gay in a non appropriate way is... well not appropriate. As teenagers, we cannot change. It is near impossible. Thus, it follows that it does not make sense to be irate when hearing someone use the phrase "that's so gay," when honestly, he or possibly she has absolutely no control over it. It just comes out.</p>

<p>The only possible short term solution is if the word "gay" became politically unacceptable, such as the N word. Therefore, people can get in a lot of trouble by saying it. Consequently, we would have to refer to gays as strictly homosexuals, just as we refer to African Americans as strictly black or African American.</p>

<p>^ I've managed to cut a ridiculous amount of words from my vocabulary (from the sexist slur that starts with a c all the way to all the words I know are ableist, which seem to be the ones most people complain about having to stop using). I slip occasionally but make a conscious effort not to. As someone who loves language, forcing myself to find new ways of saying what I mean has been a wonderful exercise.</p>

<p>I don't expect everyone to stop giving the word "gay" a negative connotation, but saying you won't change simply because no one else will or because you allegedly can't must be the biggest copout ever.</p>

<p>Also, no, don't describe the n word as "politically unacceptable." It is a slur, a slur that any black person should feel free to reclaim and that anyone who's not black should not touch with a ten-foot pole. It's not about how much trouble non-black folks might get into for using it, it's about the history of the word and the damage it caused. And it is not comparable with the word "gay" because the latter is not a slur, and when it is given a negative connotation, it is rarely describing something that is indeed gay. Lastly, please, never equate "gay" with "homosexual" nor assume that those are the only two words that describe non-straight folks.</p>