The funny thing is my 82 year old H is my tech support. He was helping with computers and phones his whole 45+ year career. He’s much better at tech than I am. our kids are great at it to. Haha—I’m the one least techie.
What a great thread. I relate most to not being able to find the right word or name (like celebrity name or something like that, but someone really common), and the stress of wondering whether this is a precursor of future cognitive loss. I’m younger than many of you but probably look older since my hair is thinning and I don’t wear makeup (and like some of you am allergic to many topical things). I was hoping to go gray/white because the few of those hairs I had a couple of years ago were much thicker than my regular hairs, but now even the white hairs are wimpy hairs with miniaturized follicles so they don’t really help. And I don’t have any gray, just white. Gray looks so nice! Oh well.
I’m interested in hearing more about the supposed connection between strenuous exercise and ALS, since strenuous exercise is my “staying young” cornerstone (also my “eating very unhealthy foods a lot” cornerstone). My sweet tooth gets worse every day, and my A1c is starting to show it.
I also relate to the not really having friends part of the thread…I agree that Covid broke something that doesn’t feel like it’s ever going to get fixed. We moved in 2022…that probably doesn’t help.
My dad who was an engineer and one of the smartest people I knew could never get the hang of technology. Never used his smartphone except for calling people and although he bought a laptop he never figured out how to use it. My kids (and others) repeatedly tried to show him how to use it and … My mom had no interest. We had to beg her to get a jitterbug phone and she rarely used it. Dad passed in 2017 at age 84.5 and mom in 2019 (almost 86). I know others in their generation were able to adapt , but not them.
This! My parents (late 70s) are really good with technology, but my Mom was a math teacher who was also the IT department for her school before there were such things. She and my brother networked the whole school themselves over the summer in the 80s. Need a program to create block scheduling? She wrote it (in the 80s) in her spare time. Need someone to run the satellite system? She did it. Aren’t website cool (in the 90s)? She became the webmaster. My Dad was an engineer, so he is good with them too.
But of all my co-workers with parents in their 70s-80s, not one can handle anything tech related. They can’t fix their TVs if they hit the wrong remote button. They call their kids to come over and reset it for them. No way can they handle a cell phone or anything on the internet. My in-laws were the same. My MIL tried twice to get an iphone and wound up giving it to my kids because she just couldn’t figure it out.
My co-worker’s D worked in an ENT office that went to using ipads for intake forms vs paper. She said her D spent most of the time in the waiting room typing everything in for the elderly patients. It was just beyond them.
Mom had a flip phone forever but wanted to be able to text, so near the end of her life she got an iPhone. I have a very few texts from her and they read like emails, all ending “Love, Mom”. She emailed very regularly- she had an extensive social circle and they were all about texts and emails. She did fall victim to the “Microsoft Support” scam but fortunately she realized it very quickly.
Aging- I’m in a regular Pilates group where at age 61, I am the youngest. We’ve all decided we’d rather be the oldest in Pilates class than the youngest in the nursing home!
I’m thinking the internet has been around for 30 years now? So an 88 year old would have been 58?
My frustration with no technology is that our family is spread out, the elders have friends who are spread out now, the ones who are still living.
At least basic email, which has been around for a long time, is how people communicate.
I wish that my in laws could receive pictures of the great grandkids. Pictures of weddings. Be able to access communication that is only available anymore on a website. Like a wedding reception, not all the grandchildren were open to calling grandma and walking her through the dress code. Local sibling is frankly not interested in helping. It’s hard to facilitate this from hours away.
My mil has chosen not to do any of that. She also chooses to be upset when she misses out on communicating.
My mom on the other hand can do simple emails. She is able to receive those pictures of weddings and great grandchildren. It gives her great joy.
I don’t actually care but I do not like hearing about why can’t communication be like it was decades ago. When the grandchildren weren’t even alive. It’s not just the younger generation but also peers.
My dad passed at 85 but would not go there. I’d say “Dad, so much information at your fingertips. The encyclopedia on a screen.” Nope. Didn’t faze him.
My dad used a computer, mostly to play games and check FB, until he died at 82. My mom was using her iPad into her 70s until her ALZ became too advanced. That said, if there were any problems beyond doing a restart, they needed someone to trouble shoot for them.
My inlaws are 82 and 83 and manage to be technically plugged with both smart phones and computers and manage their own tech problems.
i swear we are related –
MiL has had probably 6 phones, 3 tablets, and two laptops. FiL has a phone and a desktop. They change her tech whenever she can’t use it in the first week and buy the cheapest junk they can find – and are amazed when it doesn’t work. My BiL got them an Alexa all set up, but they often can’t hear it at all.
During covid we walked them thru, in person, a million reps of using things effectively but a week goes by and they can’t. On the phone (which is a magic jack set up) they can’t hear. She can never find her cell phone. He doesn’t know how to find the keypad on his and never uses it. He leaves his computer on 24/7, email open, because he can’t remember the password or how to use tabs. Doesn’t answer email. MiL is unaware she is getting any. Can’t navigate FB.
End result is we have no effective communication with them unless we call them multiple times on the phone; they never ever call us (but they never have).
It wouldn’t pull up for me. I saw that live years ago and fell in love with her all over again. I hate BS answers and Cher has None of that. I remember being so proud of her that she told it like it is. I’ll have to go find that video.
About parents and aging….I sort of get it. My Dad was an engineer, had a phone, a computer but never embraced it much than the basics. My mom had a flip phone.
I also find I’m not particularly keen in learning every new thing out there. I think it’s partly due to constantly having to learn new software at work and I am tired of constantly learning new technologies. So I bet it. And I’m only 65.
Certainly some in their 80s and above can understand and enjoy technology. Mom never had email. Still took her checkbook to the bank and the nice teller would balance it for her each month. Even her flip phone we had to make a little chart for her with her most frequent people to call. To call me, press 1 and send, to call brother press 2 and send - that type of thing.
She could talk politics, current events, spoke 2-3 languages, was physically active till the end and worked part time until she was 83. But clicking, touching, tapping, scrolling - was not something she could grasp.
Bringing to back to the thread, let’s hope if we are lucky enough to hit 80s and above that there will not be something totally off the wall groundbreaking that we can’t adapt to!
I swear we are related also!
I asked my husband, “How do you feel about getting older?” His response? “As compared to what age?” Dang scientist! Needs a comparator.
He says he is no longer sweating the work stuff he used to lose sleep over. His BATNA to being fired is consulting/retirement. It doesn’t mean he is not passionate about what he does. It is just that he doesn’t dive deep into politics at work to defend his proposals. He simply waits for the opponents to come back and acknowledge that he was right.
My father is a brilliant person but could not keep up with transformations in technology. Touchscreens in particular were problematic because he has an essential tremor and cannot use them. I read somewhere that buttons are making a comeback because they are actually more user-friendly for many people.
I’m 60 and I need to work for at least 5 more years to be eligible for Medicare. But I find I don’t have the stamina to do anything but work. I used to be able to have hobbies, be involved in community affairs, entertain, etc. But now, all my energy goes to working full time and I just collapse at night and on the weekends. There are so many things I would like to do, but I don’t have the energy to do them.
My job is much harder now. This crop of students is uniquely bad (not their fault; they entered high school in 2020, the year of Covid, and they have huge skill gaps, plus the advent of AI, which is the apocalypse for college writing). I have to do this for 11 more semesters but I’m dreading it.
Boo!
I turned 60 earlier this year.
I recently had some sort of virus, and for the first time in my life, I had a viral rash that accompanied it and lasted ten days.
I started to get viral rashes in my late 50’s. I just figure that they are proof my immune system is fighting back!
I’m halfway through my 60’s, and I have accepted that I am closer to dying than I am to being born. None of us gets out alive, after all. So yeah, my body is not as young as it used to be. But I try to eat a healthy diet, I exercise, and I do what I can to be as healthy as possible for as long as possible.