To be fair, I think my own driving has done that for decades.
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Mine, too. 
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Me, too
I am 66 and this has been the worst health year of my life. I went from taking no medications to taking about 10-12 medications (although some for a few years, and some are the same morning and night) I hate it. I argued with my doctor to reduce the dosage on several because I just felt so over-medicated.
On Thurs they sent me for a stress test just to rule out some heart issues as I’ve been dizzy. I think it is the over-medication but I’ve met my deductible so agreed to it, got a call on Wed afternoon for a 7 am appt on Thurs. I thought it was for a tread mill test and English wasn’t the scheduler’s first language and I couldn’t understand her. I get there and they hand me a disclosure for injecting me with radiation and then dye and then doing scans and then more drugs to make my heart race and then repeat it all. Oh, and I couldn’t be near babies or pregnant people and I could set off alarms at TSA so would need a letter to get through security. NOPE! I called my Nurse Practitioner and she said this was because they didn’t think I could do the tread mill because I get dizzy. NOPE. I cancelled and I’m not doing any more tests ‘just in case.’ All the other tests were simple and showed no issues (except that I’m old and overweight) but I’m not doing anything with radiation other than dental xrays and certainly not injecting it into my arm.
I’m trying to take 2025 off from medical care. I’ll take my pills, I’ll do two visits to the NP, and the dentist, and that’s it.
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Technology–It was mid 80’s we got our first computer and internet started up for the masses. My dad didn’t have a computer but did get a website (it’s in the library of congress actually because it’s one of the first). He called me to ask me what it looked like! He kept up for years but around age 90 he just said “I’m too old for the learning curve–I don’t want anything new that I have to learn about before I can use it.” Unfortunately he put the “learning curve” on me!
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OP here. I think I’m over the funk that caused me to start this thread.
In addition to the memory stuff I outlined in the first post, I also was down because I gained weight while caring for my mom, who died in April, and haven’t been able to drop it. I’m up 14 pounds from my low from about two years ago, but a couple of days ago I recommitted to my IF regimen and stepped up my workouts like they were a couple of years back. One bonus: I realize now that the lower-level walking workouts I was doing weren’t enough for my endorphins to kick in, and I have missed my endorphins. I have felt SO much better the past three days.
I had an odd interaction with the usual lab where I get my blood drawn for my rheumatologist and dermatologist along with my PCP, where this one-man lab is housed. I went in with orders from my rheumatologist, and the lab tech said that he couldn’t draw my blood, at least and not have it covered, because I am no longer an active patient of my PCP. I asked what he meant; I have been seeing my PCP for at least 10 years. He said the contract he has is with this practice, and I haven’t had an office visit for more than a year so insurance may not cover it. Well, sorry that I’ve been so healthy! Dh had an appt yesterday so I asked him to ask about it, and they said to make something up and come in! lol This feels like a good problem to have, healthy enough to not see my PCP in more than a year, despite getting older.
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Can you get an appointment with another physician to evaluate the possible polypharmacy (the actual medical term for taking lots of drugs, some of which may not be necessary)?
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At this point, I’m happy to be getting older. Just the last couple of weeks, two folks I know who were my age died. 
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Yes—H has been to more funerals recently and it always makes him reflective. I’m very sad my brother who was only 2 years older than me died. We weren’t ready for him to go, but I try to be comforted knowing that he’s with my recently departed parents, whom he was very close to.
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I could, but I’m happy with the current levels. We cut 3 medication doses in half recently and I have felt better so will see how that goes. Because I’m switching insurance, I have to get some new doctors but I think I’ll be fine for now. I’ve had my last appointments with my surgeon, plastic surgeon, and retinologist since that medical center doesn’t take my new insurance. Two others are at a hospital I don’t like (billing practices) and will only go there if I have to. Will have to find new docs as I need them. I have enough medication to get me through March, and my PCP can prescribe most of them.
I have to say the doctor/NP I have liked the most has been the dermatologist. They LISTEN to me an try to help without prescribing more pills. Ointments and lotions, but no pills.
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I just wrote two condolence cards that I’m mailing now. 
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My mom is 87. She has an iPad, desktop, Iwatch and iPhone. She is very good at texting and email. She does most of her banking and trading online. Yesterday she asked me to show her how to use uber.
My mother was a very traditional wife to my father. She let him make most decisions at home, especially finance. After he passed away 10 years ago she came out of of shell. I admire her spirit of not giving up.
I am still working. I actually enjoy my work more than when I was younger because I now have no pressure to keep the job. I have the luxury of doing what I like to do at work. I will probably retire in next few years. I think what’s going to be important is for me to stay current with technology, otherwise the world would leave me behind.
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My mil had no idea of their resources when fil died. He was very patriarchal about finances, and he was very cheap. Interestingly, her life-time earnings were slightly higher than his as her SS was higher. The did take some nice trips together, but that was the only splurge area. But, it was always all, “his,” money.
I think she was a bit angry when she realized how much he unnecessarily harped at her about going out to lunch or buying clothes. They weren’t loaded, but they could have enjoyed life more together as a couple and she certainly never overdid those things. What makes me happiest for her since his passing is that she hired a housekeeper. He would have never, “allowed,” that.
She does pretty well with technology. Honestly, the TV gives her more fits than the phone or the computer or online banking.
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That essay about friends is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it.
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My best friend’s MIL lives next door to her. MIL is 102. It is really a miserable existence. She hasn’t left the house since covid except to get covid shots (drive thru) and go to the emergency room or dentist. Even her health care comes to her now. She has workers that come 3x per week. Friend and husband feed her breakfast every morning, open the drapes, bring in the mail, etc., then either they or a grandson bring dinner on the days the workers aren’t there at 5 pm.
She is, overall, healthy. But she’s almost blind (listens to the radio at a high volume), has this big reader machine to read a few pages of the newspaper, talks to her daughter on the phone each night for 10 minutes. She enjoys the great grandchildren for about 10 minutes a week. I visit for about 10 minutes if I’m in the neighborhood. She’s outlived just about all her friends.
Another acquaintance’s mother is 99 and just as bossy as ever. ‘Take me on vacation, take me to the theater, to dinner, to friend’s house…’ The mother is a large person and in a wheelchair and it takes a lot of effort to ‘take me’ places. The daughter is exhausted.
Why aren’t these people in nursing homes? Oh, they don’t want to live with old people! And it is no trouble at all for their children to walk next door several times a day to wait on them. Of course their OTHER children don’t live nearby to help with the care but are quick to criticize if the care is late or not up to par.
I only want to be 99 if I can be like Betty White. Otherwise, push me in front of a bus when the time is right.
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Can they afford assisted living or nursing homes?
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A nursing home isn’t going to fix any problems for them because their problems aren’t fixable by moving to a nursing home. It might relieve caregiver guilt but it doesn’t help them. A near blind person needs technology–hearing aids vs. listening to an over loud radio and set up with simple apps that let the newspaper be read to you rather than trying to do so with a machine. The person craving experiences outside the house needs some things brought in–new food, movies or sometimes just driven around the neighborhood to see what’s outside the house. Don’t underestimate a “Sunday drive” to satisfy the urge to get out. A nursing home is not going to help these type issues–they call for creative problem solving. And yes, some people do get “old” --not necessarily in physical health but in attitude. I wouldn’t want to live with them either.
Yes to both. 98 year old who wants to go everywhere was a doctor, owned a home, etc so could easily fund a few more years in a nursing home. The other one lives in a teeny tiny ranch house (I’m guessing 1000 square feet, a teeny tiny kitchen that only one person can be in at once, 3 bedrooms one bath…but it is on 3 city lots and would sell for about $2M, maybe $3M. She’s lived there since the 1940’s so it’s paid off. She’s 102! How many years do you think she’d need in the nursing home!
Honestly, my friend’s husband is run ragged by all the meals, the bookkeeping and bill paying, the calls to come over and change a light bulb or run to the store for a prescription because she only has 7 pills left. He’s 75, his sister who is a big PITA who lives in LA but is quick to criticize if she can’t get mother on the phone as any moment is older. When friend and husband go on vacation, it involves a Marshall plan to get the meals covered or prepare for a 2" snow ‘storm’ as the service only comes if there is 6". I’ve covered sometimes, but I’m sort of old now too. If friend or H get covid (and they have) then it’s scramble to get meals or other care covered and sometimes that’s up to 10 days.
The assisted living place is really nice! She had to go there when she broke her hip but didn’t want to live there. I think she’s afraid no one would visit.
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Sounds more to me like those families should hire paid caregivers to do the things they are doing.
In my opinion, if it is possible the best care is with a live in caregiver. The staff to patient ratio is 1:1!
However, it often is not possible. My father stayed at home with a caregiver until he died. My mother hated it and felt isolated. Plus her dementia has transformed her into a psychotic, angry, incredibly nasty person. She needed to be in a place where there were other people, caregivers that could get her to take her meds, and who weren’t related to her. But of course there are tons of other reasons why staying home isn’t feasible. If it is possible, though, it’s the best of all worlds.
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