I loved my MIL so much and I miss her terribly. I am so sorry for those of you who didn’t have a good experience.
@jym626 - lol. The stuff fairy! 
My MIL was a saint. I have no idea how that apple, I mean SIL, rolled so far from that tree!!!
SIL?? Sister in law??
Oh, and I usually find a deal on the stuff I send. The mugs were original price $18 each (doubt any fool would pay that). I got them for $3.74 each plus free shipping. And IMO they are nice mugs!
@CountingDown - I cannot even imagine… Too bad someone didn’t offer to kick her back. Just sayin’
Yup. Mr. B’s sister. Not like their mom -at all.
@VaBluebird Re: grandchildren. I am not very fond of babies and in this world, I would just worry to death about the grandkids. I’m sure if one were to come along I would adore it, but I truly have no desire. I didn’t want kids, either, but adored both of mine and bonded immediately.
Trust me, the compromise thing is as difficult when both families live nearby. We have a large house in the suburbs and invite her family to join us for holidays, etc. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn’t and I know I have to share. We’re luck y that the kids are all interested in seeing us on a regular basis and we get to see them every couple of weeks, at a minimum. When your family grows via marriage, the balance takes a while to achieve but I know I never want to be the problem, so that’s my goal.
Well before we married, a friend mentioned they trade TG and Xmas with in-laws, one holiday with family A, the other with B. So no matter how much one side wants the couple, or claims, “We always did it this way,” there’s a fair split.
In my own case, we were across the country from MIL, so we’d celebrate Xmas with mine a day or two early, then fly out.
My girls have found the same easy split. D1 will tell me, much in advance, which holiday it seems they’ll be here. This Xmas, it looks like they’ll be with his family, 500 miles away. Our dinner will be before they go. TG is definitely here (she’d like it to be at their apt, nearby.)
These things are about the family time, to us, not the specific date.
H and I decided within the first 3 years of having our D that we would not fly anywhere for a holiday.
I was 3,000 miles and money and sleeping on floors and so on.
I realize that we ended up not that close to the relatives but I actually still cannot imagine
traveling with young kids over a holiday weekend.
Both my kids live on the other coast so we see each other only when we fly there. I am the MIL to my kids’ spouses and I don’t try to be more than that. They have their own mothers and I respect that. My DIL has a very close relationship with her parents who live nearby with her big extended family. I have good relationships with both of them, as reported by my kids. I try to be positive and pay for everything whenever we go out unless they insist on paying(and they do frequently). I don’t make too much demands of their time except we spend Thanksgiving every year with my D(her H is Canadian) and the kids alternate coming back for Christmas.
I bought a lot of baby items when my twin grandsons were born but my D has asked me not to buy clothes for their kids because she and her H like to dress them themselves though I would pay for items if we shop together.
Being a good MIL requires diplomacy and self-control. We have to step back and recognize that our kids’ main family unit is their spouses and their kids and not push ourselves on them.
I have discussed annual family vacations with both kids and they see that as a possibility in the future as we have done so with our extended family in the past. We shall see.
@MomofWildChild I think that’s a great way to feel. Especially since one of the kids is choosing not to have children and the other doesn’t have a SO.
I feel the same way actually. If I have grandchildren I will love them immensely. But I don’t (honestly) have that big hankering for them right now.
I never liked kids but I love my own to death.
I like my SIL a lot though we aren’t close. I was surprised when I met him because he wasn’t the sort of person I thought my D would fall for. I think his family was even more surprised. However, I think she made a great choice–I hope his family thinks he did too!
I always wanted grandchildren. I know my D has always wanted chldren. I can’t imagine her being happy without them. (I’m not saying other women can’t be–just that my D wouldn’t.). The grandkids are still little and they are happy and heatlhy kids, so all is well. They use tinybeans and I’m addicted to my daily “fix” of photos and video clips. The little one is just learning to walk and my heart just melts watching the mix of concentration and joy on his face as he tries to navigate his way. (One of the reasons I like my SIL is that he does a LOT of the household stuff and childcare.)
I don’t know his family well because they live a long way away. The kids see them farily often, but I don’t.
It’s sad to read about MOWC’s D’s impending dvorce, in part because I recall quite vividly her very happy posts about the wedding–seems impossible that was 9+ years ago.
What’s tinybeans?
Tinybeans is one of the photo and video sharing of kids’ pics. There are several companies that do this, but I think “the beans” was the first. It now comes in two versions, the free and premium versions. With the free version, you do get ads and video clips are limited to 30 seconds.It’s set up as a daily calendar. They stay online. Every day, my grandbabies’ parents posts pics and/or clips, so there is at leas one picture for every day they’ve been alive. The account holder lists the names and email addresses of people who want to see the photos. The recipients control when and how they are delivered and can also see them on the site. You can see comments from other posters.
If you google tinybeans you’ll find it…or just add .com to tinybeans.
I’ll have to see if S1 and DIL know about that site. First grandchild is due in a week, and we want to be sure that we see all the photos/videos, especially considering they live 3000 miles away.
We do this with my D and DIL. We all have iphones and can “share” photos with many people, no other apps needed.
We just use a google groups photo thing.
Well…I don’t have an iphone, but it does have advantages…especially the calendar part of it.
I think DIL did mention google photos at one point. I’ll find out soon how they plan to publicize their photos with the people they want to have access to them. BTW, none of us have iphones.
Google photos works on your laptop too