I always told my kids that if they are amongst top-ranked students in their class, they are definitely in a wrong place as they are not challenged enough. It’s probably ideal to be in the 40-50th percentile. It usually takes equal parts of strong work ethic, communication and teamwork, as well as natural acumen to succeed in the workplace. Being naturally smart reduces the incentive to develop the other two ingredients, so it becomes much more difficult to catch up later in life.
When I got a 90 (my first A on a test in that class) on a really hard test that everyone failed, the first thing my mom asked was “So who got a 100?”. I’m Asian btw.
Yeah, well, that mentality is nothing to brag about.
Two anecdotes. First from my freshman year in college. There was a kid who was a physics major who lived down the hall from me. He just got it. Work that would take others in his class hours he would finish in half an hour. Deservedly or not I was in awe of him.
The second comes from D1. She was a very strong student at a very good suburban HS. She was ranked like 12/740 etc. between her junior and senior year she attended Purdue U’s Seminar for Top Engineering Prospects. We get a text about the 2nd day saying “some of these kids are CRAZY smart”. I had to laugh and was pretty glad she felt that way.
What I enjoy most is not the grades as much as it is the passion students have when discussing their courses. I think it’s neat that they want to learn and on the whole retain it. Usually there is some correlation between the two although my kids have gotten B’s in courses they’ve really enjoyed and learned a lot from.
Remind your kid
also let him know, that he needs to be like a horse: put on his blinders and run his own race. As long as he is going his best work, then he has nothing to worry about.
That’s a great saying. Run your own race. I am constantly amazed at the amount of angst some posters put on comparing their children to others in the same high school, college, whatever.
I think that’s an important distinction-there are a lot of people out there who really blow my socks off, and I admire the heck out of them. I am in awe of some of them. I deeply appreciate all of them.
However, I’m not intimidated by them, and I don’t think I would want to be them. I think the world would be a lot happier if people would stop thinking that their own gifts are somehow less good than others’ gifts.
Good advice overall, unless he is running in the wrong race.(And that might also be true of the student who does not have to work to get an A.) Sometimes it’s really hard to tell.
That said, trying your best with what is available to you is always a good idea.
Also, what is important at one stage, might not be so important at the next, and not everything that will matter in life or a career is taught in the classroom.
However, a high school student often has little control over which race s/he is running in. It is the parents who largely determine that (either passively, like living in the area of a certain set of K-12 schools, or actively, in terms of how they encourage academic achievement or not).
Encouraging academic achievement and “running in a race” are two entirely different concepts, ucb.
In theory, they are different concepts. But in practice, educational and other achievement is often seen as a competition – to get into the “best” schools (college or selective high school), to get a higher class rank, to do well relative to the grading curve in the class (or the standardized tests), to get into your desired major while you are in college, to be the one hired to a desirable job out of dozens of applicants, etc… Of course, parental influence can increase or decrease the emphasis on the competitive aspect of educational achievement that the student sees.
As to running one’s own race, I am reminded of a piece from Marianne Williamson. I think that the experience of being around those who simply work on A-game level all the time can be one where one is lifted and inspired as much as, for some, experience some internal sense of being diminished. It is a matter of perspective. (See above, @lvvcsf.)
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”
My S and D are both naturally gifted, and for some classes they do not have to study, while many of their peers will have to spend many more hours in order to master the material. They both have exceptional analytical ability, and fantastic time-management skills. They each have classes where they do have to work, and they have found that in these courses, several of their peers at C and S do not have to work as much as they do.
S told D that while he thought about majoring in the courses that came easiest to him, he decided to challenge himself. He feels he has learned more this way. D is still deciding on her major (likely STEM) but her first semester was far easier than she expected.
While they have not had to work hard in some classes, they do work hard at their ECs.
The hard workers fair better in life.
I tell my D to admire and celebrate kids that are smarter than her. It is like swimming in the same pool with Michael Phelps: yes, he is really gifted, and there is nothing wrong with being slower. We have kids at school who took Calculus BC in 8th grade and go on with college level math in HS. Great kids. My D is not even close to this level, and this is perfectly fine.
I really don’t see the problem.
I don’t agree with that. Work smart is our motto. I’ve seen plenty of people in our family work their fingers to the bone and get nowhere because they didn’t think about the best way to solve a problem. Or even if there was a different way to solve a problem. They just put their nose to the grindstone. For their entire lives. I’ve also seen lots of lazy people get really lucky. Promising results from hard work just isn’t the real world, in my opinion. It’s not fair, but it’s reality.
"Work smart is our motto. " - working hard absolutely includes working smart. We are talking about students with numerous unrelated interests who do not tend to be hermits studying in their rooms. They are used to multitasking from the very early ages. As I mentioned before, it may not appear to others that they are working hard, but they are. They simply do not advertise one way or another, they do not care to have friends who are into grades and school work discussions.
"I’ve also seen lots of lazy people get really lucky. " - good luck getting into Law or Med school! I just saw the show about Einstein. You are under illusion if you think that he was just lucky and did not work hard, Work harder than anybody around you, I guarantee you that! Smart or not, we do not know, he discarded lots and lots of his work deemed to be a waste of time by him.
One example of “easy” time studying. Several of D’s medical school classmates developed shingles. They were in their 20s, most of D’s classmates were Asians. Yes, a person can develop shingles pushed by extreme stress. I guess, they had very easy time studying for their Step 1 up to 14 hours every day for duration of 7 weeks, and that easy time cased stress and shingles. Is this correct explanation?
“Promising results from hard work” is what I promised to my D. when she was 5 y o. This promise become true not only to her but also to all around her. They did not know any other way.
You’re putting some serious words in my mouth, MiamiDAP. Nobody thinks Einstein was lucky or lazy.
Gawd, how silly.
I will add that from what I’ve seen of your posts, you and I fundamentally disagree on just about everything in terms of what’s valuable in life.
That’s a good thing, MOD 
Good job MOD Maybe some people on this forum need to read Rich dad Poor Dad