<p>My dear Aunt was an incessant talker. She would make a comment, bounce it from China to Alaska, and then 20 minutes later make her point. And then start her next stream of consciousness.</p>
<p>I loved her but it was really hard to be around her. Which is more hurtful? Telling someone that their chatting is driving everyone insane? Or hurt them by avoiding them in social situations?</p>
<p>I learned a very useful skill from my mom. When someone is behaving in a rude manner, do it back. Nine times out of ten, you’ll get the desired result. A friend of mine has a terrible habit of unapologetically interrupting people mid-sentence then dominating the conversation. I finally got fed up and refused to stop talking. It was pretty funny, we both talked over each other for about fifteen seconds until she finally backed down. She no longer interrupts me. </p>
<p>This works great with cell phones, too, by the way. Friends ticking you off by making you stand idly by as they chat/text away? Easy fix. Do it back…but longer. (-;</p>
<p>I have a friend who has ADHD and one manifestation of this is that she is very talkative and interrupts a lot. Thin is, she doesn’t interrupt to talk about herself, she interrupts with more questions about whatever I am talking about. </p>
<p>For example: Me “My D got an internship and will start in…” She interrupts with “What?!! That’s great!!! Where is it? Is it the one she wanted?!!”</p>
<p>It’s actually kind of funny and it’s hard to fault someone who is genuinely interested in all the details of what I am talking about. But it can be exhausting!</p>
<p>The people I know who do this aren’t always off balance or insensitive. I’m not sure I’d call it insecurity, but sometimes they need to talk to know they have a place and that they matter. If we listen, it seems to affirm them. In some cases, I can give them a task- they feel useful and like they are participating. </p>
<p>That said, my MIL chatted on inane topics- I finally realized it was that she wanted us to know we mattered. Filling empty air was her way. She was also a heart of gold sort and beloved by her friends and acquaintances. Drove me nuts. Sometimes. It was when this slowed down that we got worried.</p>
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<p>This is my sister. For a long time, we spoke about once a month, saw each other once or twice a year and all was well. In the past couple of years, we’ve had to speak very frequently and spend time together due to our parents declining health. She’s a kind and generous person, but she talks non stop and finishes my thoughts incorrectly when I try to tell her something. When she does that, I just stop talking and it seems to be effective. For example:
Me: I just spoke to mom’s doctor about her blood pressure
Sis: And he’s going to change her medications
Me: Silence
Sis: OK, tell me what he said
Me: He said she should cut down on her salt intake.</p>
<p>For ‘friends’ who are incessant talkers, I just don’t invite them to things. There was one woman who rode with me on a 100 mile trip. Never stopped talking as I was trying to find exits and read street names. I finally turned on the radio to drown her out.</p>
<p>There was one woman who rode with me on a 100 mile trip. Never stopped talking as I was trying to find exits and read street names. I finally turned on the radio to drown her out.</p>
<p>a friend of mine was undergoing cancer treatments so she asked me to go on a Campus Visit trip with her child and her H. The school was about 200 miles away. I hadn’t spent much time with her H before, so I wasn’t prepared for his non-stop talking, stupid jokes, etc. Thankfully, I had my new phone and casually said that I had to update my phone, download apps, etc. I tried to keep my nose in my phone as much as I could. </p>
<p>For those who find themselves trapped…if you’re near your computer, you can use wheresmycellphone.com to call your cell phone and then use that as an excuse to get away. ;)</p>
<p>Bff used to read the highway billboards- felt like every one of them. I pointed it out, but I guess she was amused at her own idiosyncrasy because it continued. Then she took a long road trip with her brother, who did the same. Cured her. We can laugh at it now. Even so, I tell her no long road trips.</p>
<p>I am probably guilty. I have been a big talker since grade school. I use to fail “Social Behavior” for talking. I am incredibly uncomfortable in a social situation if there is silence. It feels awkward and uncomfortable so I fill in.</p>
<p>I also like to talk. If I meet a fellow talker we can go on for a long time. Sometimes I do actually get bored or antsy and want to end the conversation. And I do avoid some people that I might get in to a prolonged conversation with.</p>
<p>I also consciously try to be a good listener and let others speak because I am aware that incessant talkers can be boring, trying and major PIAs.</p>
<p>This is such a tough one. morrismm, good for you for trying to be aware and listen well.</p>
<p>MIL is not necessarily an incessant talker but she interrupts anyone and any type of conversation. D can be fully engaged in a conversation with her grandfather and MIL interrupts with an unrelated, unimportant question (like, “how do you like your meal”)–poor kid can’t figure out how to respond as she looks away from grandfather, back to grandfather–feels so awkward. It took me 20+ years but, on occasion, I will now say, ‘sorry X, I’m just hearing about y’ I’ll check back with you in a few minutes’. </p>
<p>I asked dh years ago if he would consider having a conversation with her about it but he was adamant that it would not result in a positive outcome. Unfortunately, neither of us goes out of our way to spend much time with dh’s parents as a result.</p>
<p>There’s another woman I know (late 40s) who talks incessantly…she’s one of a group of 5 of us that goes to lunch a few times a year. She talks 80%-90% of the time. I feel like, ever so gently, suggesting to her that, with 5 of us at the table, it would be logical if each of us talk about 20% of the time…accounting for some being more shy, perhaps 25 or even 30% of the time but 80%+?? NOOOOOO!</p>
<p>I had a friend years ago who would go on and on in a monotone voice about the most mundane subjects. When she was running out of material on one subject, she would link it to the next with a long “ummmmm” and then start on another story about something nobody cared about.</p>