<p>Let me start with an example: I had double match point in a tennis match (1 set), being up 3 games against a kid I was <em>supposed</em> to beat. After losing both, I lost the entire match by two points in a tiebreaker.</p>
<p>This highlights numerous things. I had a setback during the match: scraping double match point. I had a setback in tennis as a whole: losing an “easy win”. I had a setback in general: losing confidence in my abilities. It influenced my next match, in which I was up 4-1 and lost 4-6. That was against someone considered equal, if not better than me. The thoughts of my last loss kept coming back to me when I was up 3 games, and I think the “mental chatter” got to me.</p>
<p>This is definitely not the biggest setback I’ve faced; tennis isn’t that important to me. But it brings out a good question: how do you recover from setbacks (especially those where you “almost reached the goal”), both short-term and long-term?</p>
<p>i know it’s cliche to say this but instead of thinking that as some “setback” why not think of why you lost. Why did you lose? Was it your posture, bad timing, miscalculation in your position, serving the ball too strong… what ever it was learn from your loss. It’s these small errors that make the difference in you game be it academics or sports. Don’t say you aren’t interested in tennis, because if you aren’t you’re probably hogging a spot on the team that someone else who really liked tennis applied for but lost to you. Seriously find a hobby you like and then you’ll realize moral lessons like this one more often.</p>
<p>Well, by “isn’t that important to me” I mean that “I don’t spend countless hours hitting in the offseason like the very best players do”. I was on varsity ALL (every match) of last year, and this match was for my spot. I’m not hogging a spot; there aren’t any cuts for the team. And I do like tennis, it’s just not that important to me (there’s a difference in my opinion).
But yes, the small details do make a difference in just about everything. The example was just a recent setback to use as a backdrop for the general question. How do you recover from a setback? I’m sure one of the worst ways to recover is contemplating the past (past the point where you’ve learned from your mistakes). </p>
<p>I always remind myself of the difference between temporary emotional states and actual problems. Just because I feel bad doesn’t mean bad things are happening to me. I’m still alive and my mom still loves me. Pizza still exists. Five years from now I won’t even remember this.
Almost reaching a goal is really frustrating, though. </p>