<p>All I can say is–good luck! Is weight an issue?–obese people often have trouble with BO because of all the bacteria in their skin-folds. Even if they bathe frequently, they can’t stop it from happening.
I have the same problem with a family I know. I don’t know how to tell them that their standards are just TOO low, and this is unacceptable. Kids are filthy–dirty hands, nails, faces, ears, clothes, etc. Their house is disgusting and I know people who won’t visit them because of it. (Trust me–I am not a clean freak or germophobe–I have seven kids myself, and have lived in other countries.)The mom has some physical (and mental, imo) health issues. They homeschool and I have suggested she put at least some of her kids in school, but I wonder if she could get them clean enough every day to send them to school. They’d probably get turned in. She is American, grew up here, even graduated from private high school and college. I just wonder if she ever notices how much cleaner other people’s kids and homes are, and if she sees that this is a serious problem. (She knows it is a problem, but thinks it is somehow normal or at least acceptable to live like this. People–including me-- have cleaned her house for her, but they completely trash it again within a couple days.)</p>
<p>sorry verryhappy—I cross posted. But it still could be diet.</p>
<p>vegemite? ;)</p>
<p>atomom-- sounds a lot like my sister. She has five kids, and that is always her story, “well, you know what it’s like with kids, you can’t keep up with them!” She sees the rotting food sitting out the same as another family’s legos left in the middle of the floor, she doesn’t see a difference and thinks she’s perfectly normal. And if you try to tell her she’s not, one of her friends will jump in with, “so your house is a little messy, what parents isn’t!?” and feeds her delusions. </p>
<p>She puts her youngest on the kitchen table to take pictures because otherwise people would see how filthy her floors are, but she thinks it’s normal. And she bathes, and she’s always doing laundry, but there’s never any hand soap or toothpaste in her bathroom, ever, and always with the old food. When you leave her house the bottoms of your socks are black and sticky. But she will never, ever believe you that this isn’t normal.</p>
<p>Her bedroom was like that as a kid growing up, my parents did everything they could short of burning all her belongings to control it but they couldn’t. They went into her room when she left wearing garbage bags as makeshift hazmat suits and rubber boots and gas masks and it took weeks to clean it out. We always figured if she married her husband wouldn’t tolerate this and she’d outgrow it, but his mother was a hoarder and it doesn’t faze him.</p>
<p>If you do find a way to get through to these people, I’d love to know how. I’ve grown up believing it’s impossible.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>An A+ for that sentence!</p>
<p>LOL, Em–with the people I’m talking about there is a serious lack of parenting and housekeeping skills. Just no will to try to control the kids’ behavior at all. Not telling them what to do, and not telling them what NOT to do. So they have 7 kids living like animals in the house.</p>
<p>toledo, if you’re worried about their financial situation, how about giving the woman and her daughter a gift pak of shampoo, laundry detergent, toothpaste and some soap. You can even say they were giving them out at the grocery store as a special promotion.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Are you referring to me? :)</p>
<p>“If the snowshoe fits…”</p>
<p>Ema, you’re sister’s situation sound awful. I’m surprised she has friends or that people would come to her home. </p>
<p>Seriously, I think the easiest thing to try first is little soap and shampoo samples. I have several saved from hotel visits. I’ll mention that I have some small laundry soap items at home and see what they say. That should help me figure out the laundry situation (broken washer, no washer, lack of detergent, or lack of $ for laudromat).</p>
<p>What kind of group is this? I’m just curious because truthfully the idea that someone smells because they can’t afford soap seems a little far-fetched to me. Plenty of people who have soap smell. LOL!</p>
<p>DollarTree has a 3 bar Palmolive soap pack for $1. Buy a few and leave them on the hood of their car. $4 for 12 bars should last them a year. </p>
<p>But, I suspect that affording soap isn’t the issue.</p>
<p>It’s a church group.</p>
<p>Some factors that have already been mentioned, that could very well be causes, are microfibers, being overweight, newly diagnosed diabetic (mother, not daughter), and genetics.</p>
<p>I’ve been thinking about the smell, and the best way to describe it is, “like a homeless person smells”. As far as I know, they’re not homeless. I gave them a ride home one day, and saw their perfectly fine, middle class home, with a perfectly neat yard.</p>
<p>So, they probably have soap and shampoo, then. Someone is going to have to get up the courage to be direct with one of them. imho.</p>
<p>Well, if I were stinky and didn’t realize I was seriously offending people, I would want the person who spoke to me about it to pretend they were relaying the concerns of others, implying that those unnamed others were perhaps “too picky,” but still…</p>
<p>"How do you tell someone they’re “lacking in hygiene”?
-You do not. Cannot change anybody by telling them. You ahve to exercise your veto power. Your veto power is to walk away. If anything/anybody bothers you, stay away. People are leaving their motherland if they cannot live there, staying away from couple people would be much easier by my estimates, but again you may choose to smell aroma. It is all about choices and our choices are ours, personal, what we choose, so basically we are in power to do whatever we want. “Smell or not to smell”, this is a question.</p>
<p>Since it is a church group, is there any chance speaking with a clergy person could be of help?</p>
<p>^Telling on others, would you like if people are telling on you? I know that you might be perfect, so there is nothing to tell. However, most people are not perfect, there always something negative to say about anybody in a world, every single one of us, except maybe you.</p>
<p>Most people would want to know if they had an odor that was unpleasant. I can’t imagine not wanting to know if I was unaware that something was offensive to others. This happened to my DH- one of their contractors (might have been an employee, don’'t recall) but regardless, they were often in very small quarters with 4 or 5 people and the stench about killed everyone. They couldnt work, get through their meeting, etc. I believe they asked the manager of this person to say something. Don’t know exactly what he said, but it got better… briefly. Didn’t last, unfortunately, and the smell returned. </p>
<p>My S#2’s roommate was terrible about bathing and washing his clothes. I gave my DS as a holiday gift one of those automatic air freshener dispensers that sent out a puff every 30 seconds or so. It was his favorite gift! Things got a little better, after much prodding from the other roommates, when he (the smelly guy) got a girlfriend!</p>
<p>I had a friend who took a lot of vitamin supplements. Some of the fish oils/choline supplements make you smell like dead fish. And burp up fish smell. Some people have a metabolic issue, but I think that’s not all that common.</p>
<p>I also think telling someone is NOT OK, neither is discussing it with anyone who knows them.</p>
<p>I think it would be a nice gesture to tell them, but that’s on you (whether you want to do it anonymously or in person is for you to figure out) - telling others just crosses the line.</p>
<p>
Sure. Clinical depression, which can happen in every kind of economic or cultural setting. </p>
<p>Or possibly some kind of sensory hyper-sensitivity about skin that is on the autism spectrum which would make an individual averse to rubbing one’s own body with soap or washcloth, coupled with fear of water. If that was/is the Mom’s problem, she wouldn’t keep soap around, so the daughter got socialized that way. These are medical issues.</p>
<p>FME, it is NOT “telling on someone” if you go advise a clergy in context of church group work. If there’s a congregant with some issue that impacts church committee work or impedes their acceptance among other church members, that IS clergy business. </p>
<p>Beyond that, your clergy might know much more about the family in confidence, and so can know who might talk with them (their doc, their social worker…) or just do it in some of the crazy subtle ways clergy have to influence congregants towards the positive. </p>
<p>H was clergy and people would whisper to him that so-and-so is smelling like urine, so he’d pull over the spouse to inqire in general on their health, see what they already knew and listen about what they were doing on it so far. They always knew, but were worn down. By his offering to be a support to that support system, that often kickstarted the closest support person to bring it up again with a bit more resolve. Sometimes - not always - this indirect intervention worked. </p>
<p>No harm mentioning this in confidence to your clergy, couching it in your personal reaction plus concern for the progress of the church committee in case others feel similarly. </p>
<p>Believe me, clergy work is not just writing sermons!</p>
<p>[Bad</a> Body Odor May Be Caused by Metabolic Disorder - Skin Diseases, Conditions, Symptoms, and Procedures on MedicineNet.com](<a href=“http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=149212]Bad”>http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=149212)</p>
<p>[Trimethylaminuria</a> (TMA) definition - Medical Dictionary definitions of popular medical terms easily defined on MedTerms](<a href=“http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=5852]Trimethylaminuria”>http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=5852)</p>
<p>Besides metabolic disorders, some medications as well as other disorders can cause this. [Causes</a> of Body Odor that Are Due to Medical Conditions - Yahoo Voices - voices.yahoo.com](<a href=“Yahoo | Mail, Weather, Search, Politics, News, Finance, Sports & Videos”>Yahoo | Mail, Weather, Search, Politics, News, Finance, Sports & Videos)</p>
<p>My late MIL was diabetic and frequently smelled uremic.</p>