Seems my rising senior thinks that there is no end to my financial support.
please have fun with this:)
By them getting a job! It really helps, because they have to pay for their own stuff (at least the small stuff). Having a job is like taking at least 2 semesters of courses in college - they probably even learn more than that. They learn about money, politics (every workplace has politics), people, schedules, appearance… it goes on and on. HIGHLY recommend making your kid get a job.
She works, and pays for some of her college…but I have always been there for many of her extras. I have started to stop with that and it is creating drama in the house!
What drama? Kid- “I’m getting my hair cut this weekend and need to borrow $40”. Parent, “Gee, I’d love to get my haircut this weekend also but I’m budgeting carefully right now so we can attend your graduation.”
silence. Unless she is vacuuming money out of your wallet without your consent this is an easy problem to fix.
Did I tell You she is going to Caribbean for spring break! She paid for it, but now is broke! We had a family vacation to Bahamas over New Years, guess that wasnt good enough!
I would like to go on another trip…but have to WORK…to pay for her college!
I think it helps to give them a budget (even if its with your money). Let them learn to manage to that budget and let them live with no extra spending money if they run out (not letting them starve). And make them track what they spend so they can figure out what maybe wasn’t necessary or could have been spent differently. Over time, make more of that budget sourced with their own money so eventually its all their money.
Good Point! I am going to try this!
I know that i am not the only one with this problem???
Are we talking rising senior in high school or college?
And yes, a monthly budget and the willpower (from both parents and child to stick to it). Also, a clear delineation of what that budget is expected to cover be it books, clothes, cosmetics, haircuts, or whatever you wish it to be.
College…is there not anyone else who has had to deal with this…my willpower has been
great, I have not slipped her any 50$ bills all year:)
PS Love the name doschicos I have tre chicas!
When she gets a job after graduating, what will her income be relative to what she earns now?
Well, I’d say it was well past due. Time for her to learn to live on a budget. Given that she can afford a spring break to the Caribbean, if I were you I’d make it a small one. With a budget, you’ll be doing her a huge favor for when she enters the working world full-time.
We gave both of our kids plenty of warning that the minute the high school graduation ceremony was over, there would be no more spending/gas money from mom and dad. Neither had been very motivated to get a job until that point, but both rose to the challenge once the new money regime kicked in, which it did right on schedule, the Monday after graduation! The warning helped, they’d had time to mull it over and think about what that really meant, so it worked out well.
@phunt01810 She is not truly paying for that trip if she is asking you to support other expenses that money could have gone to.
One thing I did was sit each kid down with the first college bill that came in and talked to them how much it cost. I think that went a long way to having them understand the expenditures we were making on their behalf. Both kids worked over the summer to cover their spending money. And we said “no” to some things when we felt it was appropriate.
She has an offer for 60k… I think that is part of problem, she thinks she can spend freely now…( earned 8500 this year)
“No.”
@doschicos agree with her need to budget! It will be a conversation 
@b1ggreenca That is what i am doing now…for warning her that the “gravy train” is ending!
My S also had a nice job, similar salary after college. Once he got an apartment and realized he had to furnish it, buy dishes, garbage pails, pay cable bills etc. he saw how quickly his nice salary evaporated.
Obviously, you know how to do this. Just tell her that’s it. But what you’re really asking is how to do this so that there isn’t any conflict around it. And the answer is that there will be conflict. Tell her you’ve done your financial, moral and educational duty, and now that she will have a job, she must learn to live on what it pays. Offer to help her with a budget or find an apartment, but make it clear that her housing and living expenses must be within her means, and don’t back down. She won’t be poor, and even if she is, that’s okay. She has learned what it takes to get herself out of poverty.
How much per month do you give her now would you estimate, beyond covering school related costs?
How much of this is related to what you can afford vs. her sense of entitlement?
You have 3 months left until she graduates so at least there is a short window. Sounds like she’s set up well to earn money post graduation based on her earnings this year as a student and her job offer. Congrats! That’s a good thing. She sounds like she’s competent and not afraid of working.