@airway1 Most selective colleges have supplemental essays. I imagine that they have not been completed.
Moderator’s note
thread is totally going off topic. All posts suggesting Op engage in fraudulently doing D’s application and responses have been removed
Schools are on break. There isn’t hours of homework that needs to be turned in tomorrow. So there is no reason the daughter can’t “fill in the basics” on her own applications.
How is the daughter going to learn resilience if mom steps in to save the day? There are far worse long term outcomes here than community college or a gap year.
Brown’s app is pretty extensive, so I’m guessing alot of the content could be repurposed. My advice to the OP is to convince D to apply to the state flagship or a safety so she has at least something come March when she will likely be rejected from Brown (96% RD reject rate).
I’m also curious why there’s a similar thread 2 years ago. If this is a parent with two kids who can’t/couldn’t
get off the dime, that’s a big issue.
Deferred is generally not the end of the world. They liked something enough to keep her in play. She’ll find out in late March how she fared against probably 10k others. Many will be from her geo area, want the same major, or just present a better app.
But we don’t know what got her deferred to RD. It could be one tiny, little thing, one maybe, that the RD pool will offer hundreds of times over.
More than that, among the key things a tippy top looks for (and need) is vision and resilience. This kid isn’t showing that.
The question of doing the other apps for her is not what I’d think of as the right parenting. We need them to take responsibility for their lives, not get by because Mom or Dad took over.
I do wonder if this thread is authentic.
As I told my kids, you will get accepted, rejected, deferred and wait listed by some really great colleges and they were. It’s a numbers game and don’t take it personally. If her teachers have known about her behavior and you must of seen this at home, I would suggest as others have counseling before going to college. There are so many pitfalls that you won’t be able to save her from at college. I tell both my college kids… In the price of your tuition are many free services, tutoring, music, art, counseling etc and they should get their “monies” worth by taking advantage of everything the college experience offers. We told them if they go to counseling they don’t need to share that with us unless they want to. There is a lot of stress on college campuses etc. Make sure your daughter can handle it or at least knows the resources to go to if she needs it.
It’s also reality time… Either she does her applications today or goes to a community College /gap year. She as suggested will most likely cut /paste a lot of it. If she needs help in getting organized then sure help with that. But she needs to do the physical work. She might want to quickly rewrite somethings. Not you. Good luck and be firm.
So why are your kid’s stats? SAT or ACT, GPA, ECs, etc.
Folks here are giving you blind device re: Brown admissions potential without that information.
University of Denver does not have any supplemental essays.
USC deadline is January 15.
Those are two I know offhand.
Just to add some personal perspective and experience. My kid currently attends Brown. Last year he experienced the same disappointment your daughter is going through having been deferred by his “dream” ivy school. He responded by being upset but determined. Spent ten days putting together solid applications to other schools. Yes there was a door broken in anger and some tense moments but he moved on out of necessity.
Fast forward to RD time. He wound up getting accepted by the dream Ivy (hardly expected) off of deferred status as well as several other great schools including Brown. (I don’t want to offer false hope…he was lucky). He did however use the opportunity to go spend the night at his three top choices including the original dream school.
Upon further review as they say, dream school had slipped to third choice. Perspectives change when options become available. Closing a door and self pity won’t change the situation.
With almost a year of hindsight he commented that getting deferred was a blessing as he would have wound up at a school other then his “perfect” fit. Morale of the story dream and perfect schools aren’t always one and the same. Give yourself the chance to control your own outcome.
If you need motivation… Tell her to think how great it would be to have the ability say to Brown thanks but I have changed my mind…
I wonder too about this thread. I am also kind of shocked that people aren’t more shocked at the suggestion that the parent do the applications. As the moderator said, that is fraud. Maybe people are trying to be gentle or something.
@compmom. I think people are giving her a break. This seems to be a call for help from the OP. We all want to do what’s best for our kids.
I’m worried both about the thread where there is apparently a similar older sibling situation, and another where (I believe) this child was under discussion a couple of years ago, about the parent enquiring about the best ECs to do with the express goal of improving college applications.
I know all parents and students are different and I am very hesitant to critique anyone, but I am wondering if (also hinted at in the first post) there is a lot of parental pressure on these kids to “achieve”, and they are responding by shutting down rather than facing disappointing the parents.
Well, people may have just thought she meant pushing go on applications that don’t require additional essays in the common app if that is done and ready to go. The OP never said she’d be writing essays. I certainly hope no body would advocate that.
As my late (and incredibly gifted) therapist used to say: “the best way to move on… is to move on”. The parent pushing a button on an app seems to me to be the opposite of helping a kid move on. We get stuck in our own head’s when we lack perspective, when we catastrophize, when we act out, when we lash out. Pushing the button doesn’t help anyone except the OP who can now manage his/her OWN anxiety by saying “oh well, my D will have a few colleges to choose from in April if Brown doesn’t come through”. That’s not helpful UNLESS it’s the D who has finished those applications, pushed those buttons, and come up with a plan to retake her autonomy.
You going to drop off a kid kicking and screaming next August at a college she doesn’t want to attend? You are going to pay tuition for a kid who has no interest in being at a particular college? Why?
@MusakParent , the wording was “should I write my daughters applications if she refuses to complete them”… it’s ambiguous. I also gave her the benefit of the doubt, but she did say “write” rather than “submit”…
Today is New Year Eve. So if OP’s daughter has not recovered by now, she does not seem to be able to take the initiative and own her own education, which is the #1 most important quality of Brown students in my opinion. If she really is not in the mood to do applications, maybe reading this joke will help – https://columbiafederalist.com/home/2017/2/28/prezbo-announces-new-transfer-to-brown-mental-health-initiative
@compmom, there were many posts about the OP re that, the mods removed them.
Hi @SJ2727, thank you for your feedback. I am sorry I could not get back to you sooner, I was at work.
I do believe that my old posts are not a reflection of myself today. At the time, I was a very naive parent (as many are) and just wanted the best for my children. Looking back at those old posts I realize how silly I was. In all honesty, my family and I live in a very competitive town and I was getting a lot of mixed and biased messages from overly ambitious parents. While my old posts may show some helicopter parenting, I am truly a very laid back parent in real life. I have come a long way, and as indicated in my initial post, just want my 3 children to live a happy, fulfilled, and joyous life even if they do not attend a prestige university.
Some other members asked if the other post 2 years ago was my other daughter, and it was. She is currently at a Hofstra University (which is test optional) and loves it! We are so relieved.
In terms of why my daughter choose to apply to Brown is because that school is my alma mater. When we toured the school last fall, she fell in love with the open curriculum. She loves poetry and film (very much the troubled artist type) and would really appreciate not having to take math or sciences classes. As indicated by another post, she had a very difficult high school experience full of bullying and teasing by other students, which led her to consider transferring from Concord Academy, where she currently attends. I think she always viewed Brown as her escape and only continued going to high school in the hope she would be accepted. I think not being accepted was about more than her being denied, but a loss of hope. She is currently in counseling which I think will be helpful. I will speak to her therapist about encouraging her to take a gap year.
My last child is a boy, and he is currently in 7th grade. He loves theater and is definitely the most academic of all 3.
I hope those answer all of your questions.
In terms of the applications, she is finally agreeing to complete her UMass application, and that’s it. With deadlines fast approaching, she won’t be able to complete her other applications. My husband and I are really hoping for the best.
I agree that is why I reached out to this site before completing ANY of her applications. She is finally agreeing to complete her UMass application, and that’s it. With deadlines fast approaching, she won’t be able to complete her other applications. My husband and I are really hoping for the best.
@Nocreativity1. That incredible for your son, congrats! I hope he is enjoying Brown so far. I know I did when I attended (although it was easier to get in back in the day, especially as a first-generation college student).