<p>dated one year and married for 30 years. I was 26 and he was 30 when we married.
I feel that until I was 26, I was too immature to recognize his attributes. I would have rejected him because he couldn’t dance. Thank goodness he was in the military while I was growing up and I didn’t meet him until I was 25.</p>
<p>I met my H when I was a freshman in college and he was a senior. We dated for three years and were engaged for one. There was no co-habitation (would not have been acceptable to the parents, long ago in the south). We have been married for 32 years next month. I waited 10 years to have only D. She graduates from college in May and has been in a serious relationship for 2 years, but says that they have not talked about marriage.</p>
<p>Thecheck, that’s just like me! Met my husband in my early 30’s and absolutely would NOT have appreciated him 10 years prior. He wore Wallabees and can’t dance…plus refused to pop his collar…God forbid! Tastes change…</p>
<p>what made yu come up wit that topic</p>
<p>My parents story:</p>
<p>Dad came home after WWII somewhat unexpectedly since he had been MIA and presumed dead for over three years - a POW of the Japanese imprisoned in The Philippines and eventually Japan. His friends and relatives threw a big welcome home party and sent over the the local college to hire a band to provide live music. Mom was a music major and earned spending money as keyboardist in the combo that was hired.</p>
<p>They dated for a few months and then summer came and mom went off to her summer job at a national park - working in the gift shop during the day and playing piano in the lodge restaurant in the evening. Dad borrowed a car and drove out to see her and proposed at the foot of some scenic lookout point. A rock slide came crashing down the mountain and nearly hit their car just as she said yes.</p>
<p>They stayed married for the rest of their lives - more than 50 years.</p>
<p>Met hubby in Oct 84 while stationed in England. Became friends with him because he had a motorcycle. I thought we were best friends- HE thought otherwise and proposed in January 85- to which I laughed because I thought he was joking…he asked two more times before he got out and returned home to Georgia. We kept in contact, I went to flight engineer school in Oklahoma and flew out to GA to see him May 88 and again in Jul 88. I asked him to marry me. Married Jul 89. </p>
<p>Noticed that every guy I went out with between 84 and 88 had some “flaw”- wasn’t like hubby. Finally figured it out. What can I say, I’m a little dense when it comes to the boy/girl thing.</p>
<p>We almost got divorced in 98- had a nice long talk at our anniversary dinner about where we were going to be 5 years from then. Hubby was sitting in the restaurant feeling the glow of our dinner when I asked him where he saw us 5 years from that point. After he answered me and asked me the same question- was shocked when I said “divorced”. We stayed at the restaurant for 2 hours talking about what was wrong and what needed to be done.</p>
<p>Just celebrated 20 years together and looking forward to 20 more. I think it has worked because we made a vow when we got married to try to work things out- if we ever got to that point. We weren’t going to cut and run without putting in the effort first. Plus we were 26 years old when we got married.</p>
<p>Although … I keep telling hubby that I married him becasue he’s tall and makes me laugh. As soon as he gets shorter and stops being funny, it will be time to trade him in for a newer model.</p>
<p>My parents met each other Aug 1, 1953 and got married Aug 31, 1953. They were married almost 32 years before Dad died of cancer.</p>
<p>Funny story- it took Dad 2 weeks to talk Mom into marrying him. Took my Grandmother telling my mom that if mom did’t marry him she would.</p>
<p>Hubby’s parents “had” to get married - she was 16, he 17. They have been married over 47 years. But nobody knows their anniversary date because they won’t tell. “they don’t talk about it” according to MIL…</p>
<p>Dated for 4 days after a blind date, engaged for 5 months, married for 21 years now. We were what you’d call experienced daters by that point in our lives, so we didn’t need to waste a lot of time figuring it out!</p>
<p>My parents’ story (since mine is so unedifying!): they were in the same class at Columbia Law School (my mother was one of only three women in the class). In their first year, apparently, seating was alphabetical in at least some of their courses. Because my father’s surname began with an “L” and my mother’s with an “M,” she happened to be seated directly behind him, and that’s how they met. She told me that she spent several months staring at the back of his head, and admiring how brilliant he was in class discussions, before they started dating. (I think she took the lead in that; she was always considerably more outgoing!) They were married a couple of months after they graduated, and were married for 27 years before she died suddenly.</p>
<p>I’m glad that my mother picked my father instead of, say, William Kunstler or Roy Cohn, both of whom were classmates of my parents! As were people like Jack Weinstein, Marvin Frankel, William F. Ryan, James Scheuer, etc., etc.</p>
<p>I agree with the age thing (dke, #84). While H and I wish we could have met years earlier we may not have “clicked” then. I have also seen the opposite- young couples who grow apart in a few years. That’s why it was easy to “rush” into marriage after age 30 before knowing everything about each other, we were both more settled in the final versions of ourselves. One local thought we “had” to get married- nope, and it took years to have our only. Living together before marriage is so much different today than when I was in my twenties. I’m still leery of buying a house together before getting married, or at least planning the event the same year- a lot of legal hassels if things don’t work out…</p>
<p>Napkin calculation for DS, if he starts now;</p>
<p>He’s 24 1/2yo.
9 months looking and dating
6 months serious dating
24 months living together
12 months engagement</p>
<p>married at 27 -28. </p>
<p>doubtful</p>
<p>Coureur, I presume your father has passed away because so many WWII vets have. I can’t imagine what it was like to be presumed dead for three years and in a Japanese concentration camp. I hope he detailed his life for you. My father in law was a Marine in the South Pacific in WWII and thankfully he allowed family members to hear the stories he kept to himself for half a century before he passed away.</p>
<p>^He died in 1998. He did tell some details about the war but nothing comprehensive. Like many vets he didn’t like to talk about the dreadful realities of the war very much. But I could see the scars on his skin from his wounds. Most of his stories focused on the funny things that happened to him. There wasn’t much funny about the POW camps.</p>
<p>During his long period of being classified MIA, the military offered to declare him dead and pay the 10 grand life insurance. But his father, my granddad, refused the money. He didn’t want to give up hope and accept that his only son was dead.</p>
<p>Given all that he went through, it was surprising that my dad didn’t turn out psycho or at least very fragile. But he just came back and went to work - building his life, getting married, and rasing his family. He was never bitter over his suffering. He was optimistic and hard working to the end.</p>
<p>First time: Dated 3 months, engaged and lived together 5 months. Got married even though there were red flags flying all over the place. Divorced 7 years later after putting up with years of verbal abuse and increasingly psycho behavior. :(</p>
<p>Second time: Dated 2 years, engaged 1 year, didn’t live together, married for 11 years so far. :D</p>
<p>We’ve been together for 30 years–the first 9 were living together.</p>
<p>coureur - love your story.</p>
<p>Late to this thread - been out of town with my parents (dated 4 years, engaged 6 months, married 58 years in June)</p>
<p>H and I attended the same high school and dated briefly - he graduated and we vowed to remain “friends”. Turned out to be something more. We decided to get married by Sept of my freshman year in college. Made it public a year or so later, got married during my junior year. DH was a grad student by then. That was '76.
I do agree that these sweet stories don’t help someone decide anything. Many, many of my friends who married under similar circumstances and ages didn’t stay married…</p>
<p>Met H on a NYC street corner at 1 AM. He was 23; I was 24. We dated for 6 years - I was very busy with work and grad school. Engaged for 4 mos. Married 22 years. Before wedding we “lived together in 2 places.”</p>
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<p>Ah! Sorry; we’re in Belize for our second anniversary. It’s raining and he’s snorkeling and I found wifi. =)</p>
<p>We were both in the band. I played keyboard, and he noticed that I was the only person in my section, so on behalf of the low brass section, he adopted me. He said that he was going to be getting a whole bunch of people together after the first game to go to dinner, and that I was welcome to come along. I said sure, but only if I could bring my roommate along. After the game, we exchanged numbers, went our separate ways to shower and change, and I told my roommate we were going to dinner. She said she’d already eaten, but thanks. I called DH and said, “Hey, my roommate just bailed on us.” He said, “That’s funny, because everyone else I called told me that they were tired and just wanted to go to sleep. Do you still want to go?” I was like, “Heck, yes. I’m hungry.”</p>
<p>We got to dinner (nothing fancier than burgers at Fuddrucker’s) and after about twenty minutes, we realized that the meal felt suspiciously like a date… We’ve been together ever since. Almost ten years and counting since the accidental date, married two years on Tuesday. =)</p>
<p>We met in May, dated in June, got engaged in July, lived together Sept/Oct/Nov. Married in December. </p>
<p>From meeting (at a bar/night club) to marriage = 6 months. :)</p>
<p>Just celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary.</p>