<p>How many kids do you think are dismissed from boarding schools yearly for things such as drinking, drugs, etc?</p>
<p>I recently heard of two kids being kicked out already. Not even 8 weeks of school have gone by and they couldn’t manage to keep it together.</p>
<p>Thoughts?</p>
<p>Depends of the size of the school, but I would think 2-3% annually.</p>
<p>Sometimes it is several kids caught together… In general though we have seen 5-10 kids a year.</p>
<p>10 years ago we had Bob Hope, Steve Jobs, and Johnny Cash. Now we have no Hope, no Jobs, and no Cash!!</p>
<p>It varies year to year with every school. All you can do at this point is keep the lines of communication open and remind them continuously about consequences for their actions. The few seconds that it takes to make a bad situation can seal their fate. I’ll never forget the first day of school for my older guy’s senior year. There were about a dozen seniors in his room with him and it gave me a chance to say a few words and promise me nobody does anything stupid, too look out for each other and make a pact in doing so. All the boys acknowledged me and one remarked “Don’t worry Mr. Ops, everyone graduates.” Everyone in that room did graduate but what a rough year it was, it had to be a record.</p>
<p>Do problems with drinking and drugs occur in all grades? Mostly upper? Are these rare behaviors (say, a weekend or party situation that has gotten out of hand), or hard to say?</p>
<p>It’s across the board. Normally one has little to fear from the freshmen class. But, it only takes one kid in that freshmen class to drag in another freshmen and so up the line. Nothing rare about it at all.</p>
<p>It was going on 25 years ago, and there’s no evidence across the wide smattering of schools that it isn’t occurring consistently. Always thought it a bit hypocritical of my BS that on the night before graduation we were all allowed to partake during a 2 hr “cocktail reception,” with parents present, even though there wasn’t a single senior/PG legal for the state’s drinking age.</p>
<p>Maybe the drinking age was 18 back then. If so, lots of seniors would qualify for alcohol use legally.</p>
<p>RBGG, nope, it was 1984, the drinking age was 20 (believe me, I remember!), and the state was Massachusetts.</p>
<p>This has been a subject which has come up for discussion over the years in our home. My daughter is a senior at a HADES school. A year or so ago, one student was found to be dealing drugs. The ensuing dragnet involved confiscation of the boy’s cell phone. On it were approximately 20 students to who he had been dealing drugs. All were brought before the disciplinary committee. Many were let go from school and many were placed on probation. </p>
<p>This summer, she and her friend were staying with us, and the discussion turned to this issue. I was told that her school is rife with both alcohol and drugs, but that the majority are not using them. This was little comfort to me, as the impression I had was that a considerable number were. When I voiced my concern, I was told that there was so much stress to perform academically, that they were used as an outlet. I then discussed my feeling that if they were under that much stress, that something had to be done about the stress, and that “drugs were not the answer (to coin a phrase)”. I also opined that the “stress” was an excuse for an activity which the students likely would have engaged in anyway. </p>
<p>To make a long story somewhat shorter, I suspect it is a problem at every high school. Students have been shown in studies (I am told) to overestimate the level of drug and alcohol use, but from my limited anecdotal information, I suspect it is a problem which is more common than we would like to believe. When I told my daughter that perhaps her school should institute the policy another boarding school I know of has (random drug testing… It works quite well there, and very few are discharged due to drug use), she was incredulous. She indicated that she believed “half of them would fail”. Again, I am not sure if this is an accurate assessment, but it does go to the question originally raised. My point would be that if one drug bust rounded up 20 students, how many other drug dealers are present, and have simply not been caught?</p>
<p>^First, I want to go on record as strongly against underage drinking, and all forms of drug use. You can search other posts of mine in the college forums to confirm this. I am very disappointed in the drinking and deaths or injuries caused on college campuses due to alcohol poisoning. If there was one evil I could combat, this would be high on the list.</p>
<p>That said, I don’t think drinking or drug use is really tied to academic stress. I know plenty of high achieving kids who didn’t drink or use drugs in HS, or college, etc. I also would be really concerned if I thought that half of the kids in a high school were drinking and using drugs. I think many talk as if they are drinking etc, just to sound cool. I think kids are pressured into drinking etc. to try to be cool. I think almost any school, has kids drinking and using drugs. Years ago, I read of the son of a very religious man who was the head of a school, and the son died of a heroin overdose. It can happen to anyone. Maybe the father did not see what was going on right in front of his own eyes.</p>
<p>The problem comes in addressing these issues as a parent. Anything your kid tells you is hearsay. Maybe joe blow is dealing drugs or supplying alcohol, but you don’t really know. How can you bring this to the attention of the school, when it is just hearsay?
Even if your kid is a “witness” to something improper, it would be extremely difficult for the kid to do anything without risking the wrath of many other kids.</p>
<p>If anyone has any good ideas, let’s hear them.</p>
<p>“Even if your kid is a “witness” to something improper, it would be extremely difficult for the kid to do anything without risking the wrath of many other kids.”</p>
<p>The schools’ rules for student behavior differ. In some schools, the student who witnesses such behavior is required to report it. Not to report it would have consequences. Other schools require students to leave the room when such things happen. </p>
<p>Many schools have a sanctuary policy. Students may “call Sanctuary” for themselves or another student, if they feel that they or the other student have placed themselves in harm’s way. The students are not subject to disciplinary action if Sanctuary has been called. On the other hand, it’s a first strike sort of thing. The student must (usually) agree to counseling. They are usually more closely monitored than their peers. If it happens again, they could face suspension or expulsion. </p>
<p>There’s a full discussion of these issues on this thread:</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/929722-thoughts-zero-tolerance-policy.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/929722-thoughts-zero-tolerance-policy.html</a></p>
<p>A related issue usually doesn’t occur to the parents of middle schoolers. If your child drinks on weekends (for example), he’s not likely to face academic consequences if you find him drinking in your living room. If he’s caught drinking in a dorm, the consequences could end up on his academic record. It could cause severe difficulties when he applies to college, as disciplinary matters must be explained.</p>
<p>For what it’s worth, I don’t think that drinking, etc. is related to academic stress. I know the teenagers love to excuse such behavior by saying things like, “work hard, play hard.” On the other hand, IMHO, it is related to family affluence. </p>
<p>I can quote myself for the second time!
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/12166688-post7.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/12166688-post7.html</a></p>