<p>pugmadkate wrote: And if I failed to clarify that love is love and money is money to my child, then I failed as a parent and a pie cut to the most equal measurements on Earth is not going to fix that.</p>
<p>That’s it in a nutshell.</p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>I spoke to a client this morning and her Dad was a millionaire 10 years ago, but now has dementia, is in a care place and needs the kids to pay for it. Three kids who had every expectation of a large inheritance from their wealthy Dad are now paying for his elder care and no one has a clue where the money went. Totally different scenario now that he is 80.</p>
<p>Somemom,
I wonder if the dad with dementia “lost” his assets as dementia set in & they’re still out there but he has no memory of how to marshall them? Wonder also if others took advantage of him? Guess no one can ever know at this point.</p>
<p>Things often don’t proceed as expected or planned.</p>
<p>The kids think he blew it on a girlfriend and world travel, but I did suggest they ask the bank to give them 10 years of records so they could see when the chunks went out in case the money is out there some where sitting there!</p>
<p>Maybe he got hit hard by the tech blowup in the early 2000s. I used to be a gazillionaire then…:)</p>
<p>I agree that it makes sense to look at back bank & broker statements to see what & when the funds vaporized. I know someone who started writing and trying to mail checks of huge denominations to virtual strangers for a while–he did have some mental health problems and fortunately the family prevented the checks from being mailed, but these things can happen.</p>
<p>Sometimes the issue is the spouses, the in-laws, who somehow think they get to “want” part of what is being divided. Left to their own relationships amongst themselves, siblings might not be so competitive about such things. But a spouse egging them on about what they deserve and what another sibling does not…trouble! Witness the ongoing trial of Brooke Astor’s son…though there is no sibling involved, there are grandchildren, step children of the current wife…lots of unpleasantness.</p>
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<p>This happened in my grandparents will to the 3 sibilings, of which one was left out due to their VERY non need of financial aid. They said in the will something to the effect of “We love you all equally, and know that needs are different.” </p>
<p>There was no jealousy among anybody. Family takes care of those who need the most.</p>