I admit we have really spoiled them at Xmas their whole lives, and I wish I could reverse that. I would say we have spent between $500 to $700 for each if them most years. Now, as they are getting older and older, I think that was a mistake and would like to ever so slowly start to pull back. I don’t recall my parents spending that much for me in my early 20’s, let alone older. I was just curious as to your gift giving and any monetary limits. I don’t feel free to discuss money with my friends IRL, so glad I can here.
Chanukah celebrators here, but I must say it varies depending on what I feel like buying them. Probably no more than $500 each but maybe as little as $150. I have three kids, one DIL and one GF in the picture right now and I’m trying to not buy “stuff” that isn’t wearable (and wanted), consumable, or very special. They all live in very small apartments and over the years I have purchased things like popcorn poppers, wine openers, kitchenware or things they need or I know they like.
With an opening like the OP’s, I doubt that many posters will admit that they spend “a lot” on their adult children at Christmas. But I will admit that we do. For people who have just graduated from college, getting started is difficult–I remember the postdoc/apartment days very well. We did not have a sofa for 8 months after we moved in to the apartment. We had the desk my brother used in middle school (which I appreciated!). About 6 weeks into our lease, we acquired a mattress, box springs, and a metal bed frame, but no headboard. We had a card table and folding chairs that we used as a “dining room” table, in the living room. When we had guests, we slept in a sleeping bag on the floor in another room, and gave them the bed. Friends visited and reported to their parents that we had “no furniture.” We had a wooden desk chair plus the folding chairs. I don’t recall that we had any other chair. (In grad school, I had single-furnished-room accommodations.)
There are some areas of the country where expenses are quite high, and grad student/post doc stipends don’t reflect the differential cost of living, relative to “fly over” country. So there are very practical gifts that can make a lot of difference in day-to-day living circumstances, but they are pretty expensive.
We will spend about $500 each this year.
We spend way more now that S is an adult then when he was a child (but we sent him to sleep away every summer for 8 years starting at age 6 at cost of $10k per summer.)
We are giving him $500 and AAA renewal this year.
Depends on what they need or want. Probably 500 bucks.
We spend a lot (considerably more than others have posted) on our early 20s children, since they don’t have sufficient salaries yet to afford luxury items and would go without otherwise. They’re great, hard working kids, and it’s one of my life’s pleasures to give them some nice things. For my D this year, it’s earrings, clothing, and accessories, and for S, electronics and travel.
Ok, now I don’t feel we are overspoiling them…for now.
We give them what they need and cannot afford on their own. We give when the need arises. At Christmas, it’s just small items and sentimental things. So the spending at Christmas is minimal.
I sometimes feel like we spoil our kids. But they are great kids and it makes me happy.
I don’t need anything and they do. When they get to the point they don’t need anything, maybe I’ll stop.
Max $200 on each kid. When they were younger, it was easier to fill under the tree with small, inexpensive gifts. This year will be interesting.
We’ve done around $300 a kid in their ‘stockings’ the past few years plus we do a family gift exchange.
Good question. I never really “add up” - and I would say probably at least $200-250ish in wrapped gifts - and then there are the stockings that in addition to small goodies includes a few gift cards - those add up FAST!!
I would really like to see that at some point we might do a gift or two but try and take a family long weekend someplace or something instead of the multiples under the tree. But true, right now in their age range 20-29, they still enjoy item splurges or needed but appreciated items.
Wow, I feel really cheap now.
Around $100-$125 per kid.
We too average around $250-300 at Christmas per person and have never really gone above that amount…probably less when they were littles and kid toys were cheaper. I’m kind of surprised at how much others are spending. When I got my married my husband was surprised that in my family we did more than one gift under the tree and he’ll still gripe a tad that it’s “too much” every year. He grew up in a family where everyone got one gift (and his parents had plenty of $$ too). I guess it’s really how you grew up that impacts how you parent and how to approach Christmas spending.
Don’t feel cheap! Feel smart! If this is what they’ve grown up with and all are satisfied, more power to you! I wish I had just limited it to like 3 gifts!
We probably spend around $750 on each for Christmas. This is the first year that both D’s are fully employed and neither makes a lot of money although they can cover bills and a few extras. We like to spoil them at Christmas since we are able to. My parents always give each D a good sized check for their birthdays and Christmas which they have been able to use for travel or to buy something special.
We don’t celebrate Christmas. However, I do give Hanukah gifts to my adult children. But Hanukah is not the only time they get gifts (this was true their entire lives) like it may be for some who put everything into Xmas. Growing up, the kids got what they needed year round, plus on birthdays and Hanukah. Now, they support themselves. However, I give them birthday, Hanukah, and now anniversary gifts (both kids got married last year). I don’t pick the items out for them. We discuss what they may want and I tell them how much their gift amount will be and then give them a check. For Hanukah and for birthdays, it is about $300 each kid, and for anniversaries, a little less. But now, I also gift their spouses on these occasions too. My income is limited. But I do love gift giving. Once in a while, I get them something at other times of year when it is not one of these 3 occasions. Not to mention that last year, I gave them each weddings!
Do not compare dollar amounts then and now. Prices et al change. Likewise the amount differs based on family income/circumstances- including how many kids to buy for. Also when gifts are given. The family that gets things as needed/wanted may not spend as much for a holiday because the gift was already given. Or they may save everything up for the holiday. We used to get underwear as one of our wrapped under the tree presents. I had to wait the extra month to get that winter coat.
We used to do a secular Christmas (my side Catholic, his Hindu). When son was young it was easy to buy toys and clothes because he needed them (especially for preschool and elementary school kids toys are part of learning). Teen years were hard as he needed/wanted less. Having a late October birthday also meant recent gifts.
I was the decorator/shopper/baker et al. Decreased and quit most when neither H nor son cared. Currently do not give gifts to each other for the holiday. Son has a great income and buys things he wants. He did not want anything for his birthday- even home baked goods I would have sent. We did send a snail mail card. H sends random fun gifts when he spots them. I am very happy to not need to do returns. As we get older we need far less stuff as what we have is still here. Likewise it is a waste to try to give my 91 year old father anything (tried in the past- the nice set of bath towels were saved for years while he continued to use the ratty ones, sigh). The year a new Kindle came out shortly before son’s birthday we had one sent to him- a thoughtful gift after repeatedly asking him what he wanted with no response. I got it as my Christmas gift because he had bought his own and never bothered to return it in time.
So- zero. No religion. Kid gets what he wants for himself. Frugal and not materialistic. We are probably outliers (I won’t say we are weird…). I really like giving at various opportune times instead of the obligatory holiday. No waiting for an event. We do think shopping this time of year to catch sales- waiting for wanted/not absolutely needed stuff.