It sounds like they want to vent, but it is still their issue to resolve.
I take the position that people are free to spend their money as they choose (as long as it is legal and not harming others). It is only my business if someone is spending MY money.
And DH and one sibling are now in the position to deal w their other sibling, who is over 70, working part time, second parent has died, and left them to split parentâs house that sibling (and two more generations of their branch) are living in. All had been being supported (mostly) by parentâs income. Minimal savings, SS income. Sibling needs proceeds from house to afford to move. GChild will graduate in 2025 with plans of college.
This is where that path leads!
Thanks for this! I will definitely try it soon. On Cyber Monday I bought a yearâs everything subscription for daughter and s-i-l for $50.
Maybe itâs just me and maybe itâs because I live in New England, but the people I know donât discuss the details of their personal finances, even people who are close friends. I have three close friends (more than 25 years) and I couldnât tell you the details of their finances, except I think theyâre doing well. Iâm also sure if one of them were facing financial disaster, sheâd tell us. Otherwise, personal finances arenât something we discuss. We do talk about our kids, because thatâs what drew us together. Our three daughters became friends in grade school. The kids (now in their 30s) are still friends and so are the moms.
I had the same offer last fall. I planned to cancel my subscription a week before it expired. I decided to try cancelling online instead by phone and discovered I could have a full subscription for $4 a month. I put a note in my calendar to remember to cancel before the end of the year. Iâve been surprised in the past when the first indication of a subscription promo ending was my credit card being charged the full rate.
We give our kids fairly substantial gifts of money from time to time, but we view it as an early inheritance. There are no strings on how they use it. That money is far more useful to them now than it will be in 20-30 years.
DD is still on our cell phone plan, but sheâs too lazy to switch and weâre too lazy to make her, lol. Other than than, we donât cover any of their expenses.
Yes, the wife seems to be taking the âfinancial strainâ while the husband is as she said âa softieâ. I think he was listening some to our conversation - he was talking to another person on and off, but was sitting right next to me.
I was at $28 for 4 weeks and going through cancellation online automatically gave me an offer for $14. Itâs interesting how they are charging such different prices.
Iâm not sure why anyone would care to take their kids off their cell phone plan, if its like ours its only $10 per month more per line - they would each have to pay substantially more than that for their own account. They have paid for their own physical phone upgrades, we only cover their line. They can buy us a Chickfila sandwich once a month and that covers their cost plus change left over.
Our S is also on our cell plan. It is a very small monthly charge, and we donât care. He does transfer money to our bank account every so often, but I have no clue whether or not it covers the cost. We babysit his sisterâs child, which involves some expenses on our end ⊠so I would feel pretty bad about pushing him to pay us such a small amount.
Because itâs $10 a month more. My kid is an adult with an income. He can pay his own bills whatever the amount. (No judgement, thatâs just the way we roll.)
A lot of houses around here, including mine, have 3-5 bedrooms. A lot of them belong to empty nesters. Itâs a no brainer to let your adult kids live with you for free/cheap.
PS. Yes, this is tongue in cheek.
Have you considered that it might be a little âbraggyâ to be telling this woman how âwellâ your kids are doing or the âgreat advice you gave themâ when sheâs sharing that hers isnât doing quite so well?
Your ânew activity group friendâ obviously, but maybe talking about all this financial stuff early in your relationship isnât appropriate? Not everyone wants to discuss their finances or wants a lot of financial or family relationship advice from people they barely know.
That $14 for 4 weeks is $182/year.
These âspecial offersâ are to help retain people.
My kids are doing very well. They have great jobs and own their homes, donât require any help from their families. We won the parenting lottery.
I donât like to brag too much even though Iâm so proud of my kids and how theyâve become successful adults.
Some of the people IRL are sad because my kids moved away after college. I donât get to watch my grandchildren. I donât get to help the kids. They want to help and they want to be their grandchildrenâs caretakers. Their bragging is what theyâve given their children. They wouldnât want to be us.
Everyone is different.
Our phone plans are separate now. We went with t-mobile. They wanted to stay with Verizon. They are on plans now with their SOâs. I save $100+ a month over what Verizon was going to cost me.
This lady was very nice, and expressed her concerns about their retirement and other things like she is wrapping up with her dadâs home (she had him living with her/her DH), and discussed what she needs to do there. I just described what we did with the kidsâ discussions early. Her children took a little longer to find their careers, but they did fine with that. We didnât share depths of financials, and they (like us) had participated in the state prepayment of college tuition. Their children were about the same ages as ours, and with our discussion, she clearly was happy to have me share information. I didnât pry.
On line is w/o face to face interactions. I am not a âbraggyâ person. We could not financially have our DDs not be able to âflyâ when they had with everything we provided for them. And indeed they are flying. This ladyâs kids (the son is fine), they have provided fine for the daughter, but she is still draining monthly money from them. In many ways it was financially very superficial.
Our conversation was gradual. She offered up a lot of information w/o me asking.
I just used this as an example of how some young adults will have parents continue to pay for things that the adult professional can manage to pay for themselves.
The homes they âboughtâ for their children, actually I believe it was enough of a down payment so the son and daughter could both easily keep up with their home payments. Those were purchased at a time when interest rates were lower than they are now.
Neither of my DDs owns a home. So certainly not âbraggyâ.
Sometimes people will talk to others that are not âclose friendsâ or family members (the parentsâ own brothers/sisters/cousins) because they donât want this kind of discussion to circulate among other friends or family.
Many of my friends long for GKids, and some people (like us) have a young adult that has married and have a number of grand-children w/o any expectation of Gkids this soon. That was just how DD was, and she married a fella 4 years older than her.
DH and I also now are on T-Mobile, after originally being in Verizon. DD1/SIL actually have a 4 person plan with his parents, mutual benefit. DD2 has been on her own plan once she found one she wanted - she also has just about the latest Apple Phone as well. DH and I are fine with âlesserâ phones.
We have a lot of friends with successful kids, and we are very happy for them.
I am actually glad DDs live elsewhere, because they get out of the âbubbleâ of our area, and now are in different states.
Our plan was substantially more - and now that we are with T-Mobile our monthly total for the 2 of us is about $66/month.
I am on the receiving end of a lot of, âpity,â because our adult ds lives across the country from us. âI could never go so long without seeing my kids.â
Okay
There is never a lack of judgey-ness in society.
I find a lot of âcomplainingâ that their children are costing them so much is sometimes code for I love my children so much Iâm willing to sacrifice my happiness for theirs.
Not to say that doing things for your kids or moving near the grandchildren isnât a good choice. But that itâs an individual decision. Not something that is to be judged. Either way.