Congrats - I’m sure it’s nice to go out on your own terms.
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Thank you. I did it on my term, indeed. I turned down an offer for an office’s farewell party. I quietly walked out of the office on my last day of work. I had a fulfilling career but it was only one part of my life.
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I like this from the article “One of the clearest examples comes from the Repair Café movement, which began in Amsterdam in 2009. Now in towns across America, these volunteer-led gatherings invite people to bring in broken household items—a toaster, a lamp, a bike—and participants use their skills to repair them.” This possibly would be right up DH’s alley if we end up moving to be near DD1/SIL/grandkids. Right now, DH has everything ‘set’ with his hobbies and community involvement. He is very handy. In a new community, once we are ‘settled in’, he would need a level of involvement somewhere, and also to establish new local friends. I would be the one scouting out the leads and introductions.
I am very defined in what is important to me - do all the extras for Grandkids/time that I was able to do with DDs. DD1 has to work FT and doesn’t have the energy or time to do a lot of the extracurricular activities and parental support that I was able to do. This is my wheelhouse. DD1 has said early on “I want to raise my children the way you did”. DD1 and I are sympatico on how we do things. SIL is mostly fine because everything runs through DD1, and SIL does things with his kids and DH (bike riding, rocket shooting, etc. - the ‘guy things’). DH and I had two kids, and that was enough with our circumstances - we were older parents and limited financial resources to not drain off retirement funds on having them properly raised. Also our energy level. DD2 was born the year both DH and I turned 40; her BF who is one year younger was born when his parents were 20. But we are more in the go-go years than SIL’s parents - his dad has Parkinson’s and his mom has health issues as well. Hopefully SIL’s parents will be making the move to Assisted Living near SIL’s brother’s home in 2026 or 2027.
2026 is going well so far…..
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Doing things that matter is an important part of one’s identity. GF does rides for people going to medical appointments - sometimes in her community and sometimes about an hour drive (then go do something else and return for the drive back). She recently got ‘burned’ by a client who actually went for a day heart procedure - which was not revealed, only said it was a MD appointment! Instead of returning late morning, they returned after 8 pm! She is a volunteer and only has the miles tax write off.
I totally understand that giving up a well-paying job, the perks, the routine - and sometimes it is not up to the individual about retiring – be it the corporation, health circumstances, family circumstances.
@ChoatieMom, the goal is to be stimulated I feel lucky that I evolved into doing something that I love what I do. Lots of satisfaction from solving problems and doing something I’m really good at and for which I’m recognized. I also like making money even if I don’t need it. In the last few years, I’ve reshaped the business to reduce/eliminate the things I don’t like (dealing with talented but difficult employees) and emphasizing what I like.
And, I’m devoting about 25% of my time using the same skillset in pro bono work. I’ve settled on one venture that seems to have a real chance at doing something serious for the world and am putting all of my pro bono time into that.
The for profit and pro bono work help provide community, meaning and structure. I get some community from other activities, largely organized by ShawWife, but my two closest friends are also business and academic or pro bono collaborators. I get some sense of meaning from being a good husband and father but I think my work gives me the primary sense of meaning and structure. I think that my amazing wife is already the biggest part of my community (and some subset of her large friend group are part of my community as well).
From the WSJ article, “To understand how to deal with the problem, it’s useful to think of mattering as having four main components, captured in the acronym SAID: feeling significant (seen and essential), appreciated (valued for your contributions), invested in (supported and cared for) and depended on (needed by others). These ingredients offer both a diagnosis—why retirement can feel destabilizing—and a solution for strengthening your mattering span at any age.”
I think that mattering will matter to me. At some point, I may be unable to do what I love to do or the world may not be interested in asking me to do it. At that point, I will need community, meaning and structure that do not come from work. I am currently getting some structure from exercise (and I know folks who play pickleball or another social sport can get some of their daily structure from that.
On the money side that is the original topic of this thread, I’m sure I’ve hit the number a while ago but I never feel confident that I have. We live in a place that makes us happy pretty much every day, but property tax is high, insurance probably reflects its replacement value, heating and AC are high because it is larger (much larger than we need). But I know that if our assets were not large enough, we would reduce our expenses. We would likely have to move to a lesser house – or one of our kids could move in with their families as we get older.
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I’ve condensed this down to ‘the rules’ w/o some of the extra commentary. Rules regarding retirement.
Rule 1: Be wise with money, but trust the Lord—not wealth [If you don’t believe in higher being then I guess trust yourself]
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Rule 2: Your health is part of your calling. Work to strengthen yourself to remain independent as long as possible
If your body refuses to cooperate, everything else becomes harder.
Move.
Walk.
Stretch.
Sleep.
Eat cleaner.
Reduce what slowly poisons the body.
You don’t do this out of vanity—
you do it so you can keep serving, loving, and showing up.
Your body is a vessel.
Honor it.
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Rule 3: Create joy—and root it in gratitude
Waiting for others to make you happy leads to disappointment.
So you learn to notice the gifts:
A quiet morning.
A warm cup of coffee.
Scripture that settles the soul.
Music that lifts the spirit.
When your joy comes from the Lord, loneliness loses its grip. [Again if you don’t believe in the Lord, find where your joy comes from]
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Rule 4: Aging is not permission to give up
Some people turn aging into a habit of complaints.
Over time, even those who love them drift away.
Strength is attractive.
Resilience is inspiring.
Capability honors God. [Ditto on comments about God]
Exercise. Stay engaged. Stay useful.
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Rule 5: Release the past
The good old days were beautiful—but they are gone.
Clinging to them steals today.
God is not finished creating moments worth living. [Ditto about comment about God]
There is still purpose here.
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Rule 6: Guard your peace fiercely
Not every argument needs your voice.
Not every opinion needs your energy.
Not every relationship deserves access to your heart.
Peace is precious.
Protect it—from drama, bitterness, and emotional chaos.
Peace makes room for the Lord’s presence. [Ditto on comment about God]
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Rule 7: Keep learning, growing, and serving
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@SOSConcern, thanks. Really thoughtful.
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Another aspect to the finding fulfillment after retirement, is the large number of older senior workers who don’t retire, which creates a bottleneck up at the top, and stifles growth for younger generations. We’re seeing this in a lot of Gen X and Millenials who actually end up retiring before their boomer senior management b/c they never get the opportunity to move up. There does seem to be a huge reluctance to give up power (we see it in our politicians as well). And some of the reasons are defining themselves through work, unable to trust that anyone else can do the job they can do… or just being happy doing what they are doing.
It’s an interesting dynamic. I intend to retire when I turn 62, and by retire I mean no longer working for a salary. Not sure exactly what I’ll do, but I’m sure I’ll have fun figuring that out.
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I don’t feel that anyone is obligated to retire in order to let younger people take over ( except for Congress). For some people it simply isn’t possible financially.
I had planned to work into my late 60’s. I always enjoyed my job and having taken 10 years off when my kids were young, I was not as burned out as some. But circumstances at work happened, I ended up very disillusioned and even though my last position was low stress, regular hours and a really nice boss, I missed my old role, long hours, stress and all.
I decided to retire at 63.
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Some companies retire you - my old company figured out how to lose you at 55.
That’s something people can’t control.
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True. My company didn’t lose me at 55, but they did underpay me and not promote me while giving me the top performance reviews…
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Fasten your seatbelts.
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My work responsibility was removed from me, given to a newly assigned position and less vital work reassigned as I sat in my really nice office with nothing to do, literally nothing. They knew I wouldn’t last. I was determined to not let them force me out but when the younger coworkers I thought were work friends/allies began to suck up to the new bosses that were moving the seniors out, I just left. I didn’t need that behavior bringing me down - out I went after 17 good years.
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I imagine there will be a new batch of forcing seniors out as companies try to bring on digital-native and AI-native folks.
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I’m wondering what exactly happens if Europe does a massive sell off of US bonds. Would that be a stock and bond market crash, interest rate hike, GDP decrease? As far as our exposure, most of that wouldn’t be significant to our retirement, and who knows what the stock market will actually do along with interest rates, but a bond market rout would definitely affect my mothers holdings.
Bonds will continue to pay interest. If you have bond funds it could be an issue. It’s why I buy individual bonds. I’d love a bond swoon !! Buy more on the cheap, higher yields.
Stocks inevitably will recover but your stomach will turn. Hopefully sense will prevail. The issue tho is Trump’s ego. He’s put himself in a corner. How does he get out looking victorious ?
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Always claim victory, no matter what happens. Never admit a loss.
My mom has bond funds, not bonds, so no help to her.
For a variety of reasons, including being destructive to the European countries that sell off the bonds, I think this is extremely unlikely to happen. European (or other) countries might gradually reduce exposure, but I very much doubt they would suddenly sell everything.
However, hypothetically, I believe Europe owns ~10% of US treasury bonds. If Europe were to have a coordinated sell off, it would cause a lot of chaos. Bonds prices would drop, and bond yields would sharply increase. The US would have emergency purchases to better stabilize prices. There would be indirect repercussions, which would be more difficult to predict. There would be new bond buyers to take advantage of the lower prices + increased yield, including non-European countries, which gradually mitigates the situation. The stock market would probably at least temporarily crash due to a combination of uncertainty and increased cost of borrowing.
Regarding individual bond holders, the primary reason for holding bonds is they are contract to pay a fixed amount that is less dependent on this type of market or geopolitical events. If held to maturity, the treasury bond still pays the contracted amount. Even with ETFs, if held to average duration, you are still likely to get approximately rate at time of purchase. The risk of notable loss occurs if you sell on secondary market before maturity, particularly for longer duration. There is also an inflation risk, if not inflation protected.
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yeah, that’s essentially what this article argues.
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