<p>My S only talks sports. When asked about his date for an upcoming dance, he told me that he doesn’t know her name. When I texted him to ask whether he was still alive (apparently a common question for this type of boy) he texted “not dead”. They all sound like the same kid!</p>
<p>My son will talk plenty about anything related to computers and high tech, which frankly is the most boring topic of conversation on the planet to me, but since I’m his mom and crave any conversation I can get out of him, I try to follow along… I used to love it when his girlfriend came over, because after 10 minutes of chatting with her I would get caught up on everything happening in his highschool. Boy do I miss having her around the house to talk to!</p>
<p>My son talks to me a lot, almost everything. But he is not a very social type so he doesn’t have answers most of the time, when I ask more details about any specific incidents happened at campus.</p>
<p>When my boys were in HS, we did separate 2-night trips to destinations of their choosing (restriction was that it had to be within easy driving distance). They got to choose the focus of the trip, too. S1 and I spent time in Philly specifically to do photography together. S2 and I spent our time in DC where he was the tour guide. In both cases, since it was just 2 of us and we were doing what they wanted, we had a lot of good conversation. Now that they’re both in college, we have some interesting memories to share, and that can lead to more conversation. </p>
<p>An unexpected benefit of these trips was being able to listen when they each told the rest of the family about the trips from their own perspective.</p>
<p>Pinot Noir, I could ditto your post. I have 2 boys, and a youngest d. Boys just don’t talk as much, or find value sharing as much. Our D talks things out, I think boys just solve their problems differently. </p>
<p>Now that S1 is a freshman at college, and I have actually been to college, I am suddenly a resource for him there on a small scale. Who knew?</p>
<p>I’m not a big fan of gender-stereotyped, Mars-Venus type generalizations about what “boys” or “girls” are supposedly like. From every study I’ve read, it’s entirely true that there are likely to be more differences between any two boys or any two girls than there are between boys in general and girls in general. As it happens, my son isn’t a teenager anymore, but he has always been very, very talkative. About everything. It’s very common for us to get into conversations of an hour or more when he calls (2-3 times a week, on average), and I think I still know as much about what goes on his life, and his friends, and what he’s studying, and what’s on his mind, as I did when he was in grade school. It was especially nice when he stayed on in Germany in August and September after I went home; talking to him made me feel that I was still there with him.</p>
<p>DonnaL, I too thought all the sex differences people observed were learned behaviors that society very craftily inflicted on our children through subliminal brain washing… until I had my own child. We were living in a very progressive neighborhood in San Francisco where the mom’s were professionals and the parks were full of house-husbands. Toys were purchased with gender neutrality in mind and TV was frowned on. To my horror, my son turned everything he could find in the sand box into a car (vroom vroom) and quite frequently everything else became a pretend gun (bang bang) or sword. One mighty-might soccer game we retrieved S and his friend from the bushes where they’d gone to duke to out. He’s capable of being warm and tender and sensitive, but right now he’s not overly verbal with his mother.</p>
<p>You have a remarkably communicative son, and I’m jealous, but all these posters can’t have raised their sons to be cavemen. This must be how some male (and some female) children separate themselves from their parents, and believe us, it can be painful.</p>
<p>Yes it can Bopambo. I’m definitely feeling it more this year than last in brief responses, not returned texts or calls, etc. It seems like I’m heading from meaningful communication once a week, to once a month, to probably once a semester.</p>
<p>I hope my S will e-mail me a lot or Facebook with me when he goes to college because phone conversations with him are usually very uninformative. I don’t have any daughters to compare his behavior to, but when I was a teenage daughter and my father would always ask what was going on or how I was and my usual answers were “nothing” and “fine.” </p>
<p>Going out to eat with my S is a great way to talk to him at length. He’s actually more communicative than some of the kids being mentioned on CC. Since 8th grade, though, I have not been allowed to mention girls or dating. </p>
<p>Two things lots of people say to him, and that he and most kids everywhere hate: “You’ve gotten so tall!” and “How’s school?”</p>
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<p>:) Alright I’m learning…</p>
<p>I’ve a question - do your teen sons talk to adults who are not their own parents?</p>
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<p>It makes me laugh. Love it!</p>
<p>Hi Bogney, nice to see you again on CC, our sons sound like two peas in a pod. Since they go to the same college, I’m sure they are both gainfully occupied. When I get too down about the lack of communication I think about my son’s HS classmates who never left the area or made any plans after high school, they’re floating around forlornly looking for the next job, then I feel more relieved than sad.</p>
<p>To tell you this next bit I’ll have to reveal that I’ve become an internet stalker. I love the school webcams, especially the one in the campus center. I’ve never seen my own son, but I enjoy seeing the students hanging around eating lunch. Although my son said he’d rather die than be my friend on Facebook, his privacy settings allow me to see his list of FB friends, including your son. All I can see is his profile picture but that shows a tall young man with a tennis racket, he really has become very handsome…I probably shouldn’t admit this stuff in public.</p>
<p>"I’ve a question - do your teen sons talk to adults who are not their own parents? "</p>
<p>(don’t know how to quote)</p>
<p>My S talks to adult relatives, including his grandfather. He especially likes to talk to cousins (especially the guys) who are older than he is by 10-15 years - he thinks they are cool. </p>
<p>He swears he will never say “you’ve gotten so tall” or “How’s school?” to any kid but I don’t believe it. I tell him it does not get any better … when you grow up it’s “How’s work?” </p>
<p>But if someone does not ask him how school is, he will talk about school at length if he wants to.</p>
<p>Thanks, Bopambo Yes, he has become the strong silent type, and fortunately for him he takes after his grandfather on his mother’s side. How he is actually doing is anyone’s guess. Hopefully, both of our sons being educated well if too quietly for my taste.</p>
<p>Haha my son HATES the “you’ve gotten so tall” comment, as he really did shoot up in a couple of years to his current 6’1" (taller than his brothers.) Being slim, he looks taller than he is.</p>
<p>My boys were always willing to talk to other adults (or older kids) about IDEAS. They generally didn’t see the point of small talk.</p>
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<p>That was me from 14-22 and caused some friction with older relatives and some older cousins. </p>
<p>They felt I was being aloof while I felt they were boring me to death with frivolous conversations on topics ranging from clothes worn at an older aunt’s dinner parties, shopping trips, relationship drama (male and female), and professional sports. </p>
<p>Back then, I’d take a conversation about ideas over all of that…especially when the strong silent type was the ideal I was trying to emulate.</p>
<p>The main words my 16-year-old son says are ones like “Awesome,” sarcastically said before I can even finish a sentence when I speak to him. It’s driving me nuts!</p>
<p>…and yes, adolescence has something to do with it I’m sure, @MaineLonghorn.</p>
<p>Do you know why Isaac was 12 when God commanded Abraham to kill his only son? Because if he were a teenager, it wouldn’t have been a sacrifice.</p>
<p>Post of the day, Bogney!!</p>