<p>When we were on our extreme austerity regiment, (as opposed to our usual austerity regiment), I had to regift, make gifts, shop the house, look in garage sales, Salvation Army for nearly all of my gifts. Gave some really nice, much appreciated gifts doing that. What it cost was time and thought on my part since I didn’t have the money. Oh, so much easier to just pick something from the registry and pay. It all depends on your budget.</p>
<p>I am going to a wedding over Memorial Day weekend with my family. 5 air tickets–I am using two sets of frequent flier miles. Rental car is cheap, less than $100. And we are staying with friends and acquaintances for two nights–family is split since my older kids are staying with college kids they know. The night of the wedding,we are staying at an Embassy Suite with enough beds/sofas for all of us so that we are right near the site of the wedding. Wanted to stay at the plush places there, but the tab was too much especially with 5 people. So we got a hotwire deal nearby for $69 plus tax. Nice place from what I can see, but no the luxury resort where many of the guests are saying. </p>
<p>So this is just costing us: 1) gas and tolls to airport and back–two round trips since a son who is not going will drive us and pick us up. 2) Frequent flyer fees, total $100 3) Rental car and gas $100 4) Hotel $100 5)$300 budgeted for meals and entertainment 6) $50 for gift that I’ve put together over the last 6 months. Not bad for a wedding in Denver when we all live in NY. Wish we could fly there together but at least the times of the flights are similar.</p>
<p>How much is given as a wedding gift is a very regional thing. I have seen these discussions before - in the NE, a lot more is given than where I am from (Ohio/western PA). Around here, $100-$150 is fine. I think I gave $200 to a nephew and his wife 2 years ago.</p>
<p>I hate getting any gift with the price tag on it and the receipt. I don’t want to know what it costs someone. I think it ruins the excitement. And if someone doesn’t like a gift I bought them they can put it in a yard sale or give it away without me knowing or ask me to return it.</p>
<p>Agree and agree! And, I live in the northeast, and would never in a million years give or expect the huge amounts being mentioned here. But perhaps I run with a different crowd?</p>
<p>We are going to the wedding of my best friend from college’s daughter and will spend $500 on a gift either in cash or from their list. They have Home Depot on their registry so we will probably just do a gift cert from Home Depot. They are remodeling an old house in Portland. We can drive down and stay a night in a hotel so the cost of going is not that much.</p>
<p>Wow! The most I have given for wedding gift is $100-150. I may give more for nieces/nephews once they start getting married.</p>
<p>For comparison purposes, how much do you give (if you give cash) to nieces/nephews or other close family members for high school graduations? College graduations? How much do you give when you attend all these high school graduation parties (for kids of friends, or friends of your kids)?</p>
<p>We give $100 for high school and college graduation for family members. We give $20 for all others. Is this similar to others?</p>
<p>A lot of what people ascribe to “the northeast” probably ought to refer to “the Greater NY Metropolitan Area” instead. :)</p>
<p>We haven’t had to address the graduation issue yet. Most family members who chose to give my S something at HS graduation gave him $100. I certainly didn’t expect them to give him anything at all. His godfather and grandparents gave him larger amounts.</p>
Or just a segment of it. The Wall Street bankers and lawyers I am sure have much more disposable income than we do with a professor’s salary and a not quite full time architect. Not to mention that an inordinate amount of our income goes to mortgage and taxes.</p>
<p>My favorite presents were not the ones we registered for - they were all much more interesting. I got a bud vase from one friend, it’s on my kitchen window sill and nearly always has a flower in it. (Chives right now.) I also got a itsy-bitsy set of three vases from friends of my parents that I fill with random wild flowers, or stuff from the garden. I got a tray with leather applique from somewhere in South America - extremely cool. Another friend picked up a 1950s coffee set - it’s really weird, but it gets used often.</p>
<p>^agreed Mathmom. We do live in the metro NYC area (northeast NJ), but on a teacher and college advisor salaries, we are not in the same league as Wall Streeters. OTOH, few of them live in our town, anyway.</p>
<p>I have a niece who graduated college a year ago, a niece who is a rising college senior and a nephew who is a rising college freshman (all the same family). We gave niece #1 $500 for college graduation so I expect I’d do the same for the others. (Actually $400, plus $100 in a gift card to a sports team she particularly enjoys.) But we really didn’t do anything for the hs graduations.</p>
<p>OK…truth here…we’ve been married almost 29 years. The ONLY gift we got that we actually used regularly was our crock pot which was a gift from 4 or 5 of my coworkers at the time. We got crystal, and china which we seldom use. We inherited my mom’s silver so we didn’t need that as a wedding gift. I don’t know…I would prefer something USEFUL and sometimes the useful gifts aren’t as pricey…towels, sheets, etc. </p>
<p>As an aside…MY MIL made it a habit of GIVING us useless gifts…that we couldn’t return because they were typically “trip souvenirs”. I mean…how do you return a Navajo pot that was purchased in Arizona or New Mexico…when you live in New England? Tag sale.</p>
<p>Thumper–H and I got married young and poor. Mom put out the word–they have nothing–they don’t need Waterford (which disappointed some people). We got towels, sheets, basic dishes, kitchen stuff. Most of it is worn out by now, but boy, did we appreciate it at the time.</p>
<p>Reading many of the posting, I’m glad to see that the gifts have increased from the twenty years ago gifts of $25 to $50 equivalent of the value of two large pizzas today…LOL.</p>
<p>I married many years ago and my guests were really generous. I see a wedding as an opportunity to help the young couple that begins their lives, when they need the most. Sure there is always the exception, two professionals with great salaries, second weddings, couple that seems to have everything…but still it is a time of joy, celebration and a good gift always goes the way to that couple…</p>
<p>It is not to pay back the breakfast, lunch or dinner…however; I have read stories of people buying a cheap frame for the groom and bride when they can afford more. It is good to see that many readers consider a wedding as a sharing a special moment with the newlyweds. …and that the majority is generous.</p>
<p>When H was in grad school, we had several friends get married, none of which we could afford to go to. Also had no money for gifts, so I had a cross-stitch pattern that I did a couple of times… cross-stitched a personal wedding blessing, with their names and the wedding date on it. It took me many, many hours. But I guess I don’t fall in the generous category.</p>
<p>Oh, I also bought a frame to put it in. </p>
<p>I should be whipped with a thousand noodles for such a faux pas. </p>
<p>In the same token, when H and I got married, (and remember, we were dirt poor, living below the poverty level), we did not ‘expect’ anything, so what we did get, was very much appreciated.</p>
<p>“For comparison purposes, how much do you give (if you give cash) to nieces/nephews or other close family members for high school graduations?”</p>
<p>For graduation of nieces/nephews just $100; but for their weddings very generous.</p>
<p>Terriwtt, don’t twist words…; The original citation read: "I have read stories of people buying a cheap frame for the groom and bride when they can afford more. "</p>
<p>You changed the citation, you left “when they can afford more.” </p>
<p>Hope your life is better…if you couldn’t afford anything what could you do…you can still caught up for their anniversaries.</p>
<p>greenery, I copied and pasted what was written in your post, with NO editing at all. You then went back and edited it, so don’t accuse me of twisting your words.</p>
<p>Yes, our life is much better and we now give much more generous gifts. You’d be proud that we spent $1200 on our last wedding gift last summer (geesh).</p>
<p>Well, let see CC shows:
“Last edited by Greenery; Today at 07:27 PM.”</p>
<p>You posted at “Today, 07:30 PM”</p>
<p>Maybe the system is wrong…but I see how many people twist words of other posters or use extract of what have been said and I thought you did the same. However, I will take your word and will consider the time in CC is wrong…thanks for answering.</p>
<p>However, I believe this is not a competition of whom gives more…that was a super nice gift.</p>
<p>I posted at 7:30 (6:30 my time), but I was probably writing regarding your post for more than three minutes. So the timing of CC was correct. I copied and pasted, then typed, then posted.</p>
<p>i’ve never been a big fan of ceremonies of any sort, but weddings are probably my least favorite. just always felt that way.</p>
<p>that being said, when i go to weddings, i go to celebrate the day. i want the gift to celebrate the day. i do not like feeling obligated to buy a gift based on the type of reception or the numbers in my family that can attend. i do not appreciate the amount of money that brides and grooms and their families spend on weddings. the price that they are paying for a dinner/bar/dance is staggering. i do not expect to be “wined or dined” for attending the wedding. i strongly resent feeling as if i need to cover the cost with a gift. </p>
<p>so, being the way that i have always been, i tend to decline the invite and send a gift that i am happy about. </p>
<p>if it is a close family member or friend, that’s a bit different. </p>
<p>however, in general, i just feel like the weddings are just too pricey. i would love to see brides and grooms try to scale things back a bit. sometimes the meaning of the day becomes lost in the hubbub of dinners, parties, dancing, drinks…it becomes too much!</p>
<p>i’m not really an old grouchy lady despite what this might sound like~!</p>