<p>I like weddings. But haven’t gone to many for years until last year. Now my kids’ friends ar getting married, so the rounds have started. </p>
<p>I like the ones that are more personal, like the last one I attended. Canned weddings just don’t have the character despite the cost.</p>
<p>Love weddings…
While recently travelling, I was seating down in one of the outdoors corridors from the hotel and suddenly I noticed a lot of movement of people going down to the lower terrain and decorating with flowers, benches, chairs-- I witnessed the preparation and decoration of the sight for what later became a precious outdoor ceremony, a gorgeous outdoor wedding. Was able to see the arrival of the guests, G & B and all the invitees. While admiring and commenting about how beautiful the B was, the person next to me introduced himself as the make-up and hair artist. He was with the assistant and was carrying a type of luggage with all the products they used to fix the bride, bridesmaid, M and MIL. He definitely felt very proud about his work and happy for the compliments.
This service came to the hotel; flowers were gorgeous; in the background an arch decorated with flowers, and columns in both sides, behind the arch there was a wall of rocks and behind the rocks the most precious sea hitting the shore. The guests were sitting in white benches; the B & G have special white benches and nice decorated white cushions were placed in the benches. This wedding was a sight…I was staying in the hotel, but was able to see all the preparation and ceremony from the balconies of the hotel.</p>
<p>I have always attended indoors wedding, but thought this wedding was different. Their reception obviously was indoors…that I missed. Just can imagine how beautiful.</p>
<p>What is fashionable right now- indoors or outdoors?</p>
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<p>I don’t see how the meaning of the day becomes lost just because the parties are lavish or celebratory. Since it’s not my dime, I don’t particularly have any vested interest in wanting to see brides / grooms scale up or scale down.</p>
<p>I just received the order confirmation for a wedding gift I ordered online. This is for a friend of our son’s whose mother is also a very good friend of mine. Son will be in the wedding. With shipping, the gift cost $193.00. </p>
<p>I am also attending a bridal shower ($60 gift) and will be hosting a brunch for the out of town family the day after the wedding.</p>
<p>Wow. The amounts being mentioned here are nothing like what is typically spent on gifts (or weddings) in the rural midwest. A wedding gift here is typically $50 to $60, with a shower gift generally $25 to $30. Aunts, uncles, cousins would spend around $100 to $125 for a wedding gift, and $40 to $50 for a shower gift. No one spends anything close to $30,000 hosting a wedding, either.</p>
<p>High school graduation gifts are typically $20 (with close family members spending $50 to $75), and only close family members are involved in college graduation celebrations ($50 to $100). D’s grandparents recently gave her $200 as a HS graduation present</p>
<p>Maybe I am out-of-touch or old-fashioned or naive, but I do not consider parties a revenue-producing event. When you invite friends or relatives to a party, it is because you would like them to share in the joy of the celebration. And you host the type of party you want and can afford. The idea of “covering the plate” seems to violate the spirit of a true invitation and hospitality.</p>
<p>whatever4 - while I’m not in the rural midwest, I am in the suburban midwest. For high school graduations, we typically gave $50 or so, either in cash/gift card, or spent on a gift. For college, we’ve sort of upped that to $100 because we know these kids are now trying (or will be in the near future) to set up new living arrangements, often away from their hometowns. </p>
<p>However, yesterday I went to purchase a gift card for a college graduation party we’re going to this weekend, and decided I will bypass all the Visa/Mastercard gift cards this year because of the activation fee also charged; it irks me to no end. So I got a Target gift card. They also don’t expire, which I preferred, in case this new graduate takes a year or more to move out of her parent’s home.</p>
<p>I should have stated in #64 that I am spending more than usual (including brunch) because the the groom and his family are very close friends.</p>
<p>I think this is more socioeconomic than urban/rural or east/midwest/south/west. I daresay the habits of well-to-do suburbanites look pretty similar no matter where in the country you are, and the habits of working-class people look pretty similar no matter where in the country you are. Rural doesn’t mean not well-to-do.</p>
<p>mafool - I’m sure of all the things you’re doing, hosting the brunch (no matter how much you spend) is the most appreciated gift you could give.</p>
<p>I agree, teriwtt. That kind of thing is really special.</p>
<p>That’s a great idea…a brunch after the wedding. For my wedding, many years ago while waiting for the cruise for honeymoon, next day we went to the beach with friends that attended from out of state. The BBQ was the highlight of the day…economical and a lot of fun.</p>
<p>Who is saving for their kids wedding?</p>
<p>I wish my D marry in Disney World. Anyone with that experience?
Sure, she is still young and will not be for me to decide, but I will suggest … I’m saving for that day.</p>
<p>My wedding was about 4 days of events, The rehearsal and dinner was on a Thursday, we had it a cajun/creole restaurant and had a reggae band. Friday was the bridesmaid lunch and grooms dinner, Saturday the wedding and Sunday my parents had a pool party and barbeque at their house. Monday we left on our honeymoon. It worked well with all the out of town guests, of course this was 22 years ago.</p>
<p>Popular HS graduation gift cards here are Bed Bath and Beyond. This way they add up and help with the big bill the parents have to pay at the store. (We tend to give $50-75. If our kids go to parties, we give $25).</p>
<p>Weddings: minimum $300 and that is on the low end of what others here give. Nieces/nephews= $500.</p>
<p>It does seem crazy, but this is the going rate around here, though I’m sure people give more or less depending on their own economic circumstances. It has gotten out of hand how expensive it is to make a wedding or attend one.
Yes, we are in the NY metro area.</p>
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<p>Sounds fun! I had the same thing 20+ years ago - dinner for out of towners, pool party / BBQ, bridesmaids’ luncheon, rehearsal dinner, brunch day of the wedding, wedding / reception itself, brunch the day after for remaining out of towners. </p>
<p>When I hosted my kids’ bnai mitzvah, since we had a lot of out of towners I did something similar - Shabbat dinner on Friday, then on Saturday the service, lunch, dinner and then a bagel brunch on Sunday before people took off. I am cheap about a lot of things, but the money I’ve spent on things like this I haven’t regretted a bit.</p>
<p>We have a home in NC on an island, I don’t have a daughter but I’d love to have a wedding there! I can picture all the events, golf tournament, beach party, cocktails and lunches.</p>
<p>This thread takes me back to my own wedding, nearly 27 years ago… </p>
<p>We didn’t register - so guests gave what they wanted to give… since we were poor college students, we needed everything!!!</p>
<p>Most common gift - cutting boards/cheese boards… We got 4 of those…</p>
<p>Gifts we still have 26 years later?</p>
<p>1) a set of mixing bowls from my Great Aunt - I still think of her when I get them out
2) a antique chinese vase from my grandmother - turns out it was from her aunt who was given it by a chinese war lord during the boxer rebellion (she was there as a missionary doctor).</p>
<p>My point?</p>
<p>The most precious gifts and ones that last are not about the value of the gift - it is about who gave them to you and the lasting memories they provide. Neither my grandmother or great aunt is still with us today - but their memory remains fresh every time I see the gifts they gave us.</p>
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We haven’t earmarked savings for their weddings, but we’ve figured out what we think is a reasonable amount to contribute. (Well, I think it’s reasonable. Dh thinks it’s stupefyingly generous. ;)) D1 is planning a fall 2011 wedding, and we should make the first deposit in a few weeks. Another brave new world. :)</p>
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No, though we did WDW for our honeymoon 31 years ago. Disney has gotten into weddings as a nice revenue stream over the past decade, and you can find a ton of info on this topic on the various Disney community boards. The Travel Channel occasionally does shows about Disney weddings. Some are quirky and charming, some are bizarre, and some are hilarious. For instance, you can have a “Disney couture wedding” with the services of TV wedding planner David Tutera, beginning at $65,000. If you’ve got the money and want to spend it that way, why not? But I find it pretty odd to see a grown man dressed like a “Cinderella” footman arriving to drive the bride to the Disney wedding chapel in a pumpkin-shaped coach. If you want Mickey and Minnie to make an appearance, you can have that too, for just a little extra.</p>
<p>From all these posts, the price of the gift really seems to depend on the “social norm” of your area. Like “whatever4” in post 65, I am from small town midwest and we spend EXACTLY the amounts he/she listed in the post. Our oldest D married a couple of years ago so I was able to see just what everyone spends on these events, and it was right in line with what we had been giving. </p>
<p>hs/college graduation $25
hs/college graduation of close friend’s kid $50
hs/col grad of a close family member’s child $100
average wedding gift $50-$60
wedding gift to child of close friend $75-$100
wed gift to child of one of our siblings $125-$150</p>
<p>Never in my wildest dreams would I spend $400 on a wedding gift unless it was for my own child! We did spend $200 once on a gift for the daughter of a physician who refers a LOT of patients to my husband. Never got a thank you note!</p>
<p>I am the same as Midwest Parent and Whatever4. I can’t imagine spending $400 on a wedding gift.</p>
<p>anothercrazymom, you can adopt my dd’s and give them a wedding. Your area sounds lovely!</p>