What help did you give to your newly launched child who needs to move to a new city for work after graduation? I know he will need some help with furniture unless he can find something furnished. Probably some help with rent to start. I don’t want to take over but he really is pretty clueless. LOL!
Consignment shops, thrift stores, family castoffs are all good options for a newly minted college grad’s first apartment. Personally, I think it’s good to live sparsely starting out. It leaves them hungry for doing well to get more and young people can be very transient for the first 5 to 10 years, changing jobs, changing apartments, changing cities. It makes it easier not to have too many possessions to haul around. Often, they live with roommates so anything too nice might get mistreated. Lastly, coming from college digs, even something simple can seem fairly palatial in comparison, unless your kid was fortunate enough to live in great college housing.
I’d leave it up him as much as possible and let him ask if he needs the help. It’s a good learning process for any young adult.
I think I cosigned for my daughter and my sister gave her $500 as graduation gift which my kid used it to buy furniture at IKEA.
Our kid is getting an apartment this summer. We told her she can take anything from our basement that she wants. We hope she takes it all. In addition, we have some furniture, rugs, and lamps we will give her. She has already put her stamp of approval on those things.
I will pay her apartment deposit.
I’m also traveling with her, and will help her with purchases she needs to get all set up.
She will be a student…so it’s a little different…but it’s really her first own place.
We did the same for our older child.
No money. But plenty of old stuff out of the garage.
I helped assemble one kid’s IKEA furniture. She turned out to be a lot better at it than I was.
We gave a lot of help. Too much? Maybe, but we had the time and the knowledge so why not. He was stressed enough about starting a job in a new city so I was happy to help out where I could. I researched temporary furnished quarters ahead of time, drove out with him, and helped him get settled in. Then a month or so later I flew out (for my birthday) and looked at apartments with him. Then when he was ready to move, DH and I flew out and helped shop for furniture and housewares (IKEA, Marshall’s, Target, etc) and got him set up (DH cosigned the lease because DS didn’t have a credit record yet and the cosign meant a much lower security deposit). DS did arrange all the utilities and internet etc. himself after discussion and what was best and how to do it.
He also was (and still is, to some extent) clueless. Each kid is different; some will rise to the challenge and others will sink and be miserable. Luckily he lived in a good area to vacation so it was fun to visit. He stayed there three years so it was a good investment. I think we covered much of the furnishings as a graduation present.
We bought (or will buy) both kids a bed. D used graduation money for deposits and some Ikea furnishings. She was sharing with 3 other girls so she really just had to furnish her own room. She is moving to her own place in August so I’m sure she will have to pick up some more furniture somewhere - garage sales, Craigs List. But post graduation, I expect my kids to pay their own deposits and rent.
It can be tough to pay those deposits if you have no savings yet. A loan from the bank of Mom and Dad can be very useful in such situations.
Even if your kid gets a really high-class job that comes with a signing bonus or where the employer pays the cost of relocation, your kid won’t have that money in hand at the time when he/she needs to pay the deposit on an apartment, acquire some basic furniture, and pay deposits for utilities and Internet. A very-short-term loan from parents to help overcome this cash flow problem can be a big stress reliever for the young person.
^^Sure loans are helpful. Different strokes. But even my musician D was able to pull it off without hitting us up. It was her choice. She loves being independent. Frankly, I love it too.
My parents helped me with upfront costs (first, last, security), with the expectation that I will repay the first and last and the security will be refunded when my lease is up.
They also signed on as guarantors because I didn’t have a job yet, though I pay all the rent. My parents also let me take furniture that they had been saving for the occasion, and paid for a cheap Ikea bed frame and mattress.
How much help he’ll need depends quite a bit on the city. In NYC for example, your son would almost certainly need help with the upfront costs (almost always first, last, and security deposit, plus a possible 10-15% broker’s fee), and you would likely need to be guarantors on the lease, unless he already had a job where he makes 40-45x the monthly rent. In other cities, the requirements are generally not as stringent
We gave some graduation money, as did other family members. Would have cosigned if necessary, but was not.
We gave a few things from the basement, but they moved so far away it wasn’t practical to do much. Not sure if DS ever bought an actual bed, but keep telling myself that’s his decision not mine.
We co-signed for S2, and paid his rent for the first 5 months. That was an arrangement we made with him in exchange for his graduating from college a semester early. What we paid for 5 months rent was nowhere near as much as we’d have paid for a semester of tuition, room and board. He paid the security deposit.
We gifted him a new TV, bedding, and some put-together furniture.
D1 found her own apartment and didn’t need me to co-sign for her apartment. She got a sign on bonus so she was able to furnish and move in. Her first year pay was enough to pay for the rent and her expenses, but didn’t leave as much for going out. I gave her $500/mon until she got her first bonus. I also bought most of her work clothes the first year.
My son has moved so many times since college, and things like bed, a/c, etc got left behind. even tho we shopped Ikea, sleepy’s bed, used furniture stores, Target, BB&B< it was still lots of $ gone. when he left Cambridge to CA, he wondered why I would pay movers rather than start anew. well, that was easier than Mom flying across country and taking off time from work. The movers packed and unpacked for him, a service they threw in because he had so much less stuff than the minimal charge.
Like Oldfort, I never cosigned a lease for him, and paid for his clothes, though I’m sure his clothes were far less expensive than her DD1. (Not being on Wall St)
My daughter threw out her Ikea furniture when she moved. Just not worth the hassle of disassembling and reassembling, especially for IKEA furniture.
My 2 older kids started out without much help from me or my ex. Son started by renting a room right out of the military, then with that rental history, moved onto an apartment of his own. He bought nearly everything he needed for his first place from one guy who was moving out of state and advertised on Craigslist. We helped him with a few small things, but he really wanted it to be his own effort. Once you’re in your 20’s you should learn how to navigate living on your own.
My older daughter moved in with a former HS classmate and when the lease was up, she was added on. With that rental/credit history, she then rented her own place. It’s not really that hard, even for young people not rolling in money. We gave her some kitchen items for her new place and her dad bought her a new bed because the one she’d had was her former roommate’s old one and it was so big it would have filled her bedroom. While both kids called me at first to ask questions about utilities and set-up of such, they figured most of it out themselves. Surely most college grads can ask the right questions to do that. No one helped my ex and I and we certainly managed to set up house.
We paid the security deposit as well as 1/2 the rent for the first 6 months. We were also the guarantours (this was in NYC). She used graduation money to buy furniture.
20+ years ago when I finished grad school & started new job, my parents gifted me the down payment on the purchase of a modest condo. They thought paying rent was throwing money away.
I’m hoping to do the same for my kids someday.
We drove two vanloads of S’s stuff to his new state/town/apartment. We also took him grocery shopping and stocked his fridge and cabinets with food and miscellaneous necessities. He is luckily self-supporting and had saved money from working during school to cover deposits when he moved for his job. (He is not in an expensive city.)