<p>I’m surprised that people don’t think what other people do or think matters. Your views about how to handle this (or just about any other issue) don’t spring out of your head spontaneously. They come from somewhere, and there’s a pretty good chance they are just based on what others in your family have done and not on some careful, well-thought-out philosophy. Also, your views may be out of date, especially if you think a kid can work his way through a selective college. Personally, I like to hear what other people are doing and thinking, because they might persuade me to change my attitude on occasion.</p>
<p>All that being said, I really don’t understand parents who don’t want to help their kids get a college education when they are financially able to help. I particularly don’t get it when they say they want to build character–but they have no problem taking merit and need-based aid that somebody else (i.e., me) is paying for.</p>