I would insist on keeping options open for now, which is not to say that I would veto decisions later. But here’s my experience: my D23 was never thinking about anything like art school or anything of similarly narrow scope, so situation was not the same in this respect, but the relevant piece is that her thinking about what she wanted out of a college changed a lot from the end of junior year to the time she made her choice. It wasn’t a total 180-degree turn (she was always mostly interested in LACs), but her thinking about majors, locations, and other facets of her ideal school changed a lot. This shift largely resulted from her own thinking and research into schools and reflections about her own priorities. The process helped her make a really good choice for her, in the end. So as long as your kid keeps their options open – applying to schools that have broad options including very strong studio arts programs – their thinking might evolve when opportunities become apparent. If that happens, it will happen more easily with your support as opposed to intervention, as I can tell you understand.
I interpreted this to mean that you can afford your child’s choice and it won’t be a family hardship. Is that correct?
We have a musician. Like you, we were fortunate to be able to fund their college costs. Of course, the musician wasn’t guaranteed admission anywhere (needed to audition), but he was certain he would get accepted and he was right.
Your student is very fortunate that he/she feels confident that they will be accepted to the rolling decision program. That’s really a nice thing for them to have.
In the Thumper family, we asked our second student to do one parent pick. It was because of distance from home. Our kid was very willing to do that parent pick. Would that be an option? Apply to the rolling decision school, and then work with your student to identify a parent pick that could be a college with other offerings but a great art program…where your kid will also feel confident they will be accepted. Try to visit and in particular see that art department.
As hard as it might be…try to remember, your student will be going to college, not you parents. I understand your concerns, but I’d let the student do the choosing.
@OctoberKate thank you for your kind words. And thanks to all who have chimed in.
My artist has broad exposure to various media and has done a summer intensive art programs at a world renowned art school and liked it. They have not studied any art history but every art school we toured requires at least 2 classes in art history. It just concerns me that they don’t make much art outside of class assignments, which makes me wonder if this is truly a calling.
Budget is not a limiting factor, even if they switch schools and start over as a freshman. Whoever made that comment above I really appreciate it because it did help me. I didn’t grow up with money so it’s hard for me to fully wrap my head around that.
I also really want them to be financially self sufficient, regardless of their chosen profession. I like the idea of getting a job as soon as applications are in.
I have also vetoed the dropping core courses. May drop from AP to regular level math…that’s fine with me.
I also really appreciate the comment from…I think it was @AustenNut about supplemental essays. My child’s common app essay is already complete and currently working on artist statement, which is required in different forms for all art schools. With just those two there are a lot of schools they can apply to. I think I’m going to require 5 applications which includes their top 2 art schools and 3 other universities with art schools…which my child has already agreed to. Of those 5 i think the two stand alone art schools are likely admits, two universities are targets, and one is a reach. So we don’t really have a university based art school that is a likely admit. Maybe I’ll try to find one of those too…with no supplemental essays…could be RIT or Belmont maybe.
Thank you all! This is helping me…
While your student has talent, it seems as though her talent is not a passion for her.
Look at the retention rate for her art school and share that you can afford to fund her college years even if it entails five years rather than the traditional four year plan.
100% this. It might become a passion in art school, or it might not. No way of knowing yet.
I worry about the ‘ifs’ - and in your case, I wonder what will happen if, once there, she discovers that art is NOT for her. What are her transfer options? Maybe you can get her to think about it from this perspective in order for her to be open to doing other applications?
Also, she’s very lucky to have you as a parent…with someone like you on her side, whatever happens, it’s going to be ok.
For each school my kid looked at, I made him pick 3 majors that interested him in case he decided not to be an engineer. Worked out well, as he decided not to be an engineer before applications were even complete. While we compiled a new list, at leas we didn’t have to do it from scratch.
I would make the deal that she needs to apply to 2 other schools and go to accepted students day at the art school and 1 of the others. If she’s not in a very artsy school right now, it might be an eye-opener one way or another. She may be overwhelmed with the “artsy” crowd and how focused on art she will have to be. She may find “her people” at one school or the other.
It sounds like she is quite talented since she got into a prestigious summer program. Is it possible she puts a lot into class assignments making them satisfying, while a rigorous academic program takes up the rest of her time?
I am also wondering if your daughter does not love academic classes and wants a BFA to minimize those, or if she mainly just wants the intensity and immersion of an art school.
My musician kid applied to 4 conservatories , one that was part of a university, and two colleges (BA).They did a summer program after junior year and were all fired up for the BM, but things changed over the course of senior year. The other thing for us was finances: the colleges had generous financial aid and the conservatories didn’t. So yeah, she needed to apply to the latter for financial reasons.
I would also say that lowering the rigor of classes in senior year allowed music EC’s to come into focus and expand, and the kid got into an Ivy despite not getting to precalculus, taking a lower math, and having a study hall. I forget but they may even have lacked a science. The key to admission was demonstrated “passion” in music and LOR’s.
I would discuss all this with your child. If they feel things might change during senior year, they may want to apply to art programs within universities and leave doors open. If they feel sure they want art school I would leave it at that. They can always change. Nothing is written in stone.
I would also allow them to decide on classes for senior year. You never know, an elective like psychology might light a fire. They might also have more time and energy to do art, which would help clarify things. Your daughter can perhaps do some art classes out of school to also help clarify decisions.
The BFA grads I know (and the BM students!) are doing fine. Some teach, some went on to grad school (including art journalism), some work in completely different fields and of course there are many more specific career paths coming out of art school .
If money is no object, I think the best course is what makes your kid happy, and they may know best in the short term. Long term will take care of itself for most.
My music kid (composer) works in administration and teaches, after doing a doctorate. The BA vs BS decision has been completely irrelevant, as it turns out!
I have not read all the posts. My daughter went to a pre professional high school for the arts /performance. FYI. There are tons of talented kid’s out there.
So she created an art portfolio. There are books out there on how to do this. Review a few online. Talk to any art college and they should give some guidance. Her focus was costume and set design. She only applied and got accepted to BFA programs. Doodling is important to have. Taking art classes outside of high school also. They want to see how they think. The portfolio should show diversity and progression. Get a real portfolio binder (don’t have to spend a lot on it but if they are showing live, there is an order to it..
Now. She started said BFA in costume /set design. Her high school was like a conservatory style. Intense. When she got to college she was over worked according to her since she was more advanced. Not bragging just reality. The heads of the department asked how she designs costumes. She said after intense character research she simply looks into the characters closet. This was exactly what they were looking for, for anyone going into this lol. But she got burnt out and wasn’t challenged academically. So transferred to another school for Anthropology and Polici minor and then graduated during the pandemic. Worked several year’s and now just finished her first year master’s in Speech Pathology and loves, loves, it.
So we always let our kid’s follow their aspirations. She had the talent and were told many times that she did from those in the know. We talked about careers and making a living. Lot’s of her art friend’s are struggling or changed gears also. A very few work professionally.
I told my daughter at least have something to fall back on. She did. Always worked. Never stopped.
I would maybe review different art related jobs. How can they pivot when they need to support themselves? Many do content related jobs since it can pay the bills.
One other thought: I guess I felt that the relationship with kids and honoring their autonomy (even if possibly making mistakes) was the most important thing. (As long as we could afford their choices.)
That applied to college decisions as well as high school course decisions.
Of course if they sought my opinion, I was glad to offer it!
Sounds like you are a sensitive parent trying to balance that autonomy with worries about long term outcome, so maybe shorten it to focusing on short term!
My take:
Parents have the benefit of the long view. 18yos do not. Kids this age have a really hard time understanding the benefit of doing some up front work to preserve options for the future (even only a few months into the future). Did I make my kid to take a couple challenging classes senior year to preserve the potential for admission to a few reach schools? Yes. I knew they’d be disappointed in themselves if they didn’t try their hardest in senior year and there might be some what-ifs and regrets. Did I make them to apply to a few schools they wouldn’t have otherwise? You bet I did. I didn’t necessarily dictate WHICH extra schools, but I set some requirements like, “you will apply to at least two financial and academic safeties that you would be ok going to”. Were those the best apps ever? No. But we were all sooo glad they had some acceptances and scholarships when a few painful rejections came in. And here’s the biggest reason why I made them do these things. Between the first app submitted in September and May 1, my kid changed their mind 6000 times about where they wanted to end up and why. Having options on the table that were varied in size, location, program type, and vibe helped us weather the storm of (what sometimes seemed like) continuously changing priorities.
Senior year and the application process is a wild and emotional ride. In the end, it’ll all end up ok. Just keep reminding yourself of that! 
I share @Creekside231’s view on parental involvement and the other comments above about the importance of having back ups. Of course, this is purely my own opinion and to each their own.
For a period of time during HS, my D22 was seriously considering conservatory and, if not, I thought she was leaning towards a non-STEM major in college. As many adults in the UK are intimidated by numbers or struggle with basic calculations and I wanted my D22 to feel confident about her numeracy ability, I insisted that she take Math for A Level (she also showed some aptitude for it) but left the other 3 course options to her. I told her that I disagreed with the UK’s approach of allowing students to stop math at 16 and felt that having a strong math foundation was important for life. Looking back, I have no regrets with the position that I took (my D22 actually ended up pursuing STEM in college).
A more relevant example concerns my D22’s classmate, an amazing artist who stands alone among all of the young artists I have come across in my life. No formal training, except perhaps through watching her mom (an accomplished artist) growing up. Knowing how hard life as an artist can be, the classmate’s mom insisted that her daughter have a back up option and so the daughter is now flying through the physics program at a top UK university. I understand (and support) the mother’s decision, although I secretly hope that her D would - after completing her physics degree(s) - pursue art because I feel the world would benefit from her truly unique gifts.
@Bruno99 - it’s tough to know what is the right level of parental involvement (I still struggle with it) but Creekside’s comment that “Parents have the benefit of the long view. 18yos do not” struck a chord with me. Best of luck!
I have an ex who is an artist. He has a PhD in applied mathematics. It definitely happens!
I told my daughter that she can major in anything she wants, but she has to support herself with it…because she’s not moving back in 
. That woke up the “adult” in her. My opinion, of course, art is generally not a gainful career choice. College is a place to for young people to gain marketable job skills. As a parent, you have veto power, since it’s your money. Good luck!
Yeah, that’s part of it but it’s not the be-all and end-all of college for many people. Education is much more than learning a skill to make money.
I haven’t read every reply but those that I did read have given great advice.
The conversation that I would have if I had an art student (and I had this conversation with both of my non-art daughters before attending college) is what are the job plans after art school? Depending on the focus, art-related jobs can be hard to get and can be low paying. What do the post grad jobs look like at the college she wants to attend? What are the job placement stats?
My niece graduated last year from an art school in NYC. I believe she is a very talented artist, but she chose a general art path and not one that showcased her skills as an illustrator. She wants to live in NYC and be a curator at a museum. Not an easy job to get. She’s worked part time at museums at the front desk and as an assistant to a curator for very low pay. Not enough to support an NYC life. She went to Ireland for a year to complete a post grad art program but will return to NYC next month. No job prospects. She plans to couch surf at a friend’s apartment for the time being.
A friend’s daughter went to SCAD for jewelry design. After graduating, it took her 2 years to find a related job. The pay wasn’t great, and she had to move to a city she didn’t like.
If your daughter has a true passion for her art than I would encourage her to pursue it, but I would make sure she understands that there may be challenges that come with trying to make a living doing it. I agree with those who suggested applying to universities and colleges with art programs so maybe she could double major or minor in an adjacent field or if she decides art isn’t for her, she has other options.
I understand that every parent is different and there is no “right” path but for me, if I was going to pay OOP for college, it needed to end with a job in which my daughters would be on a path to financial independence. As such, we had many related discussions before they applied and chose a major/college.
Believe it or not, students majoring in the arts (of any kind) have the potential to be self supporting. You can PM me for details.
I think this is a good plan.
Our musician applied to a mix of stand alone conservatories and strong music programs within universities. He attended a university…but he also then got his masters at an arts conservatory.
The Thumper family supported our kids doing any major they chose. College (we felt) was a time for learning…not a vocational school. Our kids took a good variety of courses, and really grew as young adults.
Both are self supporting.
We had a sort of similar situation, except not art-y at all. My S25 really wanted Construction Management as a major. CM has a great level of employability, but I questioned why he wanted this and what he even really knew about it and if it was realistic or if he was just thinking eh, sounds interesting and easier to get a job. At the time of doing applications, he had never worked in the construction industry nor known anyone who had, and I wondered if this was going to be what he really wanted when he saw the challenges associated with the job.
Not many schools have CM as a major. We only identified three that met the other criteria for price and distance from home. All three were state flagships, and who knows if you get into those when you are OOS. So I made him apply to three other schools that were strong for his second choice major, that met all of his other criteria, and that it seemed likely he’d get into.
As luck would have it, he got into all six schools. As time went on, I talked with him about a plan for choosing which school he wanted, and how to narrow the list. He fell in love with one CM school but we told him we weren’t comfortable with him committing to that one as soon as he got in. We let him drop the two other major schools that he was least interested in, and one CM school that was least appealing for a variety of reasons. But right up until May 1 I asked him to keep three schools on his list: (1) his favorite CM school - which is very strong in that program but which was the most expensive, the farthest away, and which does not offer his second or third choice major as an option; (2) his second CM school - also strong in the program, in-state tuition, closer, has his second and third choice majors as options, but doesn’t have the campus feel that he wants and he just never felt like he clicked there; (3) dark horse school that was far and away the best for his second choice major, just in case he changed his mind.
Ultimately, he chose the school he fell in love with, that only has the CM major. I won’t lie, I wasn’t happy with that choice. I am really concerned that he’s going to decide that this isn’t the major for him, this isn’t the path he wants, and then he won’t have a good backup plan at the school he’s attending. But he knows those possible downsides and after thinking about it for months, has decided it’s a risk he’s willing to take.
He knows that I have a set amount of money put aside for college, and that four years at this current school will use it all up. If he decides mid-stream that this isn’t what he wants, then he can transfer and I’ll be able to pay for part of whatever school he does next. If he spends four years getting this degree then decides he needs to go to grad school for the other thing (it would be possible to do) because that’s really where his passion lies, then the cost for that is on him.
I also insisted that we go to admitted students days for both of his top two choices, just so he could really think about it and see what they had to offer, and I made him look at the costs for both compared to the money we had set aside, so he’d know the magnitude of his choice (we told him he could keep the $$ differential). Was that a little pushy of me, yes it was. Did people on here criticize me for pushing my will on my child and not letting him make his own decision, yes they did. I got a lot of “gently, I think it’s time for you to step back.” I know people meant well, but I felt strongly that he needed to have all the data to make a choice.
So all that to say, to make it vaguely relevant to you - I think it’s fine to require applications to other schools with broader options. And fine to ask that they stay in the mix up until the end - students do change their minds. And I think it’s also fine - in fact good - to make clear what the downsides of any choice - in both directions - could be. Students are consumers too, and consumers can best make decisions when they have the appropriate information on which to base those decisions. So much is changing and so much life is not yet experienced when you are a senior in HS. I think it’s ok to make sure they have options and understand pros and cons.
In the end, my kid picked his dream school. It’s not what I wanted for him, but now that the choice has been made, I’m all in on the school and on supporting him there. In fact, we’re going to orientation early next week and I bought new shoes in the school colors to wear - and me letting a school dictate my shoe choice says something.
So I guess I’d reframe your question. I don’t think it’s influencing or directing the college DECISIONS, I think it’s influencing or directing the college decision making PROCESS. Sharing information about options, upsides and downsides, alternatives, and costs is important. Helping kids make sure they have choices available should they want or need them after looking at that information isn’t a bad thing.
The Spouse and I are paying for the Kid to attend college, and we have no problem letting him pick whatever major he likes. We also let him know upfront that we are paying for only four years of college, so if he changes direction midstream, he needs to finish his degree in four years or use another source of funding for a fifth year. When I was in college, there were quite a few “super-seniors” in their 5th year. I don’t think it will be a problem to finish in four years, and his AP credits could fulfill some of the graduation requirements for college. We are in California, and we are willing to pay up to $45k per year, or whatever the cost of a UC will be when he starts college in a couple years. The Kid enjoys creating art, and I would not have a problem with him majoring in art. It will be up to him to figure out how to support himself with whatever degree he chooses to complete. Life is long, and there are so many different opportunities and paths he could take. I am confident that he will figure out a path to self-sufficiency.
As for parent picks for his college list, I am having the Kid apply to at least two colleges that are sure things in terms of admissions and costs. The Kid is interested in a couple UC’s that are further away from home, and I am having him also apply to the UC closest to us, even though it is not his first choice. He is filling out the UC application anyway, and it is easy to check the box for an additional campus and pay the extra fee. At the application stage, a year before enrolling, I don’t want him to rule out the possibility of being able to live at home and attend a UC, just in case the Spouse or I have some kind of health crisis, become disabled, or lose our jobs, etc. I don’t expect any of those things to happen, but in case spring of senior year rolls around and the Kid wants to live at home, or has to live at home for financial reasons, I would like him to have a possible local UC admission. If things are fine at home as of April of senior year, I would of course let him pick whatever college he wants to go to, as long as it fits the budget.
As for the senior year schedule, I would be fine with the Kid’s selections, so long as he fulfills the requirements for high school graduation and the UCs.
OP, it sounds like your child will be applying to other schools in addition to the art school that is their first choice. That sounds like a good plan.
To clarify, the Kid will get to pick the two “sure thing” colleges, so long as they are true sure things, in terms of admissions and costs. The local UC will be my one parent pick for his list.
“College is a place to for young people to gain marketable job skills.”
Then why do college at all if not for an education? Go to a coding academy and voila, 16 weeks later you have marketable job skills. Get a certificate as a respiratory therapist, ultrasound tech from your local community college and a year later-- you are employed in careers which at least for now, cannot be replaced by AI or off-shored. (The radiologist- yes, already off-shored to India. But the person who touches the patient- no, needs to be onsite).
I would also like to introduce you to the college class of 2002 who majored in “e-commerce”. It was a hot degree when it was introduced in about 1996 by some very reputable universities. The students thought they were getting “marketable skills” (in your parlance) but sadly, graduated into a changed world after 9-11, the tech bust, etc. Pity the parents who insisted on the marketable degree instead of something which would be more fungible.
I was part of a task force in 2002 to evaluate everyone who was getting laid off, AND the graduating students who had job offers which were being withdrawn, to see if the company could deploy them anywhere else. We had hired a massive number of professionals for an entire business unit focused on e-commerce-- and then shut it down when the business collapsed (not just ours- lots and lots of companies).
One guy was in high demand. He had minored in German and our operation in Frankfurt was less impacted than those in other locations. So he got a transfer offer and not a lay-off notice. Another guy actually had a degree in comparative literature (but had picked up the coding/CS skills along the way) and he got transferred to Investor Relations (they always need strong writers and analytical communicators).
Lots and lots of downsizing packages to the folks with the allegedly “marketable” degrees. I’ve got friends who recruit for Big Energy and they have the same stories (but different years) every time there’s a wobble in the oil and gas industry. The mechanical engineers are fungible- more specialized degrees are less so.
Who remembers the mid 1990’s when the CS folks and aerospace engineers were being downsized by the thousands? I left aerospace a few years before the industry tanked but boy, it was sad watching these brilliant folks trying to get hired as substitute teachers-- anything-- just to keep a paycheck coming in.
Tough to predict a labor market five years from now.