<p>How much should you tell your roommate (in terms of problems/disorders), if you’ve been randomly assigned together and don’t know anything about them? And when?</p>
<p>My situation: I have 3 sleep disorders, one of them being narcolepsy, one of them mild sleep apnea, and the other parasomnia where I scream in my sleep. I also get massive migraine headaches and have a pretty severe anxiety disorder. I don’t want to freak my roommate out before I even meet them, but I kind of feel they need to know at least part of it. . .so they aren’t surprised if I suddenly fall asleep etc.</p>
<p>How do you deal with the personal stuff? And how would you tell them something so serious without them either thinking you’re a huge hypochondriac or being scared of you? Or do you just keep it all to yourself unless something comes up?</p>
<p>Are you sure you don’t qualify for a single because of the parasomnia? One of my best friends goes to a state school and was nearly forced to get a single because of her “disability” (she has severe night terrors where she sleepwalks/talks/screams). Luckily, she was able to room cousin.</p>
<p>If you have sleep disorders and can’t get off on a disability, you should definitely be telling your roommate. It’s extremely inconsiderate to hide something like that from them. Normally, I wouldn’t say that, but if you start screaming in the middle of the night, it directly affects them in a bad way.</p>
<p>Yeah, you need to tell them this, because they’ll wonder if you randomly fall asleep. Don’t tell them right away. Talk for a while (a few times, on the phone or online or whatever) before getting to the college, and then tell them.</p>
<p>I’ve gotten disability in the past where I got a single room, but I’m going to a new school this year and my parents/therapist talked me out of it. They said I should try to room with somebody so I don’t feel so “isolated” which I can understand their point, I did have a tendency to just hang in my room by myself. But I don’t want to be the crazy roommate either. . .and we don’t exactly know how bad the parasomnia is because both my parents have sleep disorders too so they sleep through anything. I thought it was a once in awhile thing but whenever my sister stays over she hears me a lot. </p>
<p>I really don’t want to be scaring people or keeping them awake, but it is so hard to get singles even if you do have disability. And people always ask about it too. Like in the past I’ve had a double to myself and that makes people jealous/curious. I still have a few months to go (haven’t even got my room assignment yet) and I’m wondering if I should contact the school and try to get disability and a single room.</p>
<p>My therapist wanted me to try with a roommate, and if it didn’t work out then switch.</p>
Yes, you should. I completely agree with PRiNCESSMAHiNA. Parasomnia and roommates don’t mix well. (If I were your roommate, I would walk into the residential life office and <em>insist</em> on a new roommate after the very first night.)</p>
<p>I am also concerned for your own well-being. How are you dealing with your migrane headaches? Would it be a problem for you if your roommate is using the room while you are trying to rest and recover?</p>
<p>Well so far I’ve been able to manage the migraines pretty well through medication, a white noise machine, and ice packs. . .it’s kind of lucky that they are usually at their worst when most people are in class. And I’ve also been in quiet/unpopular dorms not filled to capacity. I requested a quiet/study dorm too. The thing is I’m required to live on campus for at least one more year.</p>
<p>I really would try for a single. You might be able to get it at a cheaper rate since it’s kind of a disability. If not, your roommate should definitely know this stuff so they aren’t freaked out.</p>
<p>Nah, they would be required to give me a single because of disability, but they would still charge me the normal price of a single (which is almost twice as much). Seems a bit unfair. </p>
<p>I just don’t know how to tell my roommate. Like I don’t want to play it down so she thinks it’s not as bad as it actually is. . .but I don’t want to freak her out either. Maybe I will get lucky and it will either be someone who is never there, or a really heavy sleeper? My mom has tried meds for the parasomnia (she has it too) and they didn’t work for her. I seem to remember asking my sleep doctor about having a roommate, and she said she didn’t see any reason why I shouldn’t have one.</p>
<p>No offense, and I of course don’t know how bad it is, but I would be really annoyed if my roommate made a lot of noise when we were trying to sleep (I know you can’t help it though). I would just bring it up when you’re moving in, just give the straight facts. If she asks if it’s bad, just say that you aren’t sure (works with sleep disorders lol and you aren’t really lying because you don’t know how it will affect her) but she’s welcome to move if it bothers her. It’s a little awkward, but I think it’s an awkward situation, unfortunately :(</p>
<p>Did your therapist and sleep doctor give you advice under the assumption that your parasomnia is just a once-in-a-while thing that wouldn’t really affect your roommate, or did you tell them of your sister’s observations? </p>
<p>Let me be brutally honest with you. If you were my roommate and your sleep disorder would wake me up several times a week (or even several times a night), I would probably do the following:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Request a new room assignment. If I don’t get one within a few days:</p></li>
<li><p>Talk to the HA <em>every</em> time you wake me up, in the middle of the night. Hopefully the HA would get annoyed too and help me get a new room. If that doesn’t help either:</p></li>
<li><p>I would get passive-aggressive and try to make your life a living hell. That might include being intentionally obnoxious during your migraine headaches, wake you up every time your parasomnia sets in, wake you up at other random times in the night (hey, if I don’t get to sleep, why should you?) and do other things that annoy the crap out of you. (I don’t know your pet peeves yet but I’m sure I could figure them out after living with you for a little while.) </p></li>
</ol>
<p>You see, I value my sleep a lot and I am not at all concerned about being nice to people who disregard my most basic needs.</p>
<p>I dunno, I don’t think I’d personally mind if I were living with you, but I am a deep sleeper and also have a really bad tendency to sleep walk/talk. However I would want to know about it.</p>
<p>…I don’t think I’d be rude about it, I’d understand that you couldn’t help it. But I would do everything I could to move out. (Though I wouldn’t be rude to you, probably just to the housing office lol.)</p>
<p>Well…if you can’t get into a single then you are going to HAVE to tell him…its kinda hard to keep something like that a secret from a roommate…but like everyone is saying try to get a single. It will be better for all in the end.</p>
<p>Parent here…I think it would be a wise thing to contact the disability office and provide documentation that they request so that you could be placed in a single. You can’t possibly think that any student would be understanding or even OK with being woken up in the night more than maybe the rare time. The condition you speak of would make having a roommate a very difficult thing for both them and you. When they are upset don’t you think that your business will be spread around the dorm floor. Freshman complain to everyone about everything and now you would be giving them something to complain about. Make YOUR life easier and room alone. It will not effect your freshman experience or making friends…in this case rooming alone will allow you to make friends.</p>
<p>Totally agree with momma-three. If I had been in your roommate’s position and this had happened more than once, I would have been in the Office of Residential Life by the third day of orientation and demanded a room change. I don’t think I knew anyone on campus well enough by then to complain about something like that, but if it happened in October…well, no guarantees. Save yourself the trouble.</p>
<p>I don’t sleep much, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis…you should definitely tell your roommate that before rooming up, as everyone else has said.</p>
<p>Alright thanks everyone (besides the person who said I was inconsiderate. . .it’s not like I do it on PURPOSE) I’ll definitely try to get a single. I honestly don’t know what my doctors were thinking. . .I don’t think I yelled during my sleep study so maybe that’s why the sleep doctor didn’t seem too concerned with it. I think I thought it would be a non issue because I had really insane sleep habits at the time (basically noncturnal) but now it’s straightening out so I’d be asleep at the same time as my roommate. I definitely don’t want them to hate me! Which seems pretty likely considering the reactions to this post.</p>
<p>OK so I talked to my mom. . .apparently the real reason is we can’t afford a single. They don’t give you a discount or anything for disability. And a single room costs twice as much. </p>
<p>Oh and I’m not a freshman, I’m a junior transfer. . .if that’s relevant. </p>
<p>What school are you attending that charges double the price for a single? I know they charge more, but check the price to be sure. You may want to discuss this with disability service, and clearly state that if you have a roommate that is unhappy they will ask to be moved out, and you will end up with a double to yourself anyway. There should be something they could do. I just can’t understand a school taking a hard stand on this. If you are receiving financial aid you may also want to discuss this with the financial aid office. Good luck…I know you are not responsible for this, and I feel for you, but college kids are not known to be that understanding when it comes to sleep. It is one thing if a roommate comes in drunk once in a while, and wakes them up but screaming in the night a couple times a week would scare the heck out of anyone. The comments or nasty behavior from a roommate is not something you should have to deal with, and as a parent you are the one I would be most concerned with.</p>