<p>[A</a> nice post](<a href=“http://chronicle.com/blognetwork/tenuredradical/2014/07/bye-bye-birdies-sending-the-kids-away-to-college/"]A”>http://chronicle.com/blognetwork/tenuredradical/2014/07/bye-bye-birdies-sending-the-kids-away-to-college/) from The Chronicle of Higher Education. The comments are mostly from professors, so they too are useful.</p>
<p>Yes, actually, that was a good article. Some articles similar to that have a weird tone, or state the obvious. This one I’ve bookmarked. Thanks!</p>
<p>Excellent article. It should be required reading for every parent of a freshman!</p>
<p>This is a really good article - it’s almost as if the writer had eavesdropped on some of the threads in the parent forum on CC. I am particularly reminded of the thread where the OP wondered if it would be okay for her/his child to miss the entire week of Thanksgiving because the OP wanted to go ahead and buy airfare. It’s all there in “be respectful of your student’s calendar.”</p>
<p>I really liked this article, too. </p>
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It seems like every semester I get at least one student who is doing poorly and makes pleadings to me for extra credit assignments. So much so, in fact, that I am adding a statement to my Syllabus to the effect that I have a strict policy against giving individual students extra credit opportunities. Is this type of thing actually common in some high schools?</p>
<p>I have even seen it suggested by parents here :(.</p>
<p>^^ Where I live, a lot of teachers will give extra credit if you bake them a batch of cookies. No joke.</p>
<p>A lot of his recommendations are simply common sense (though he could stand to lighten up on the ill attending class).</p>
<p>The hardest part of Lake Jr.'s Freshman year for me was resisting the urge to telephone, which is funny because I hardly ever spoke to my parents back in the day (long distance was pricey!!!), and junior is definitely not a phone person (he never exhausts his monthly cell phone minutes). I communicated with my own family mostly through letters, a habit I came to really enjoy.</p>
<p>You really do have to let these kids emerge into adulthood on their own (but boy is that hard for we parents!). Lake Jr. and I have reached a good balance, I think. I send him a picture postcard about every two weeks. And lo and behold, the lad will CALL ME whenever he thinks he hasn’t heard from me in a while. Nearly brings this old man to tears!</p>
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Do they give extra work because the student makes them cookies, or are they getting points for the cookies themselves? No wonder I have students who seem like they want to wash my car or something (i.e. non physics related).</p>
<p>One of my kids asked for extra credit and the teacher suggested a puppet show. At least half a dozen students raised their grades with the performance.</p>
<p>@sylvan8798
Points for the cookies themselves!</p>
<p>@sylvan, my son’s high school teachers sometimes give extra credit points on tests for more difficult questions. For kids who do well on the test, answering an extra credit question correctly can bring their score above 100. For everyone else, doing so can raise their score enough points to get them a higher grade (C to B-, for example). I have never heard of giving extra credit for non-academic tasks, though.</p>
<p>One thing that we have had issues with is that professors are NOT clear on their syllabus about classes on the day before a break like Thanksgiving. Some profs tell the kids the week of the break that they won’t have class on Wednesday after all, although the syllabus shows no variation from the usual schedule. This is SO unhelpful to parents of students who live far away who are trying to book plane tickets for break.</p>
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I sometimes give extra credit problems on exams. That’s different because then everyone in the class has the same opportunity to attempt them. </p>
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<p>If students have a Wednesday class and they have to fly home for break, just assume that they have class that day and book the flight accordingly. Simple.</p>
<p>One of the things I agree with most that parents can do is have a frank discussion with their children about alcohol and drug use. One of the comments was from a parent who was like “Well, how else am I supposed to approach the issue, if not a legal and moral one?” A practical skills way. Yes, students know that it’s illegal to drink under 21 - you’re not telling them anything new. That doesn’t stop half of them from doing it anyway.</p>
<p>My mother started by letting me have a few sips of her drinks and as a teenager letting me feel what being slightly tipsy felt like. Alcohol, thus, was not a novelty to me nor was it forbidden fruit by the time I was 18. It was just <em>shrug</em> no big deal. She also was frank and honest - that being buzzed feels good, but that being sloppy drunk isn’t a good idea. Not only was I able to identify the feeling and about how much alcohol I needed to get there, I had a bad opinion of being “blackout drunk” by the time I went to college, so there was no temptation there.</p>
<p>I’m not saying that you have to let your kid drink at home or anything, but having an actual concrete discussion beyond “alcohol is illegal, so of course you won’t drink it” is a good idea. It’s unrealistic to think that your child won’t at least be tempted, so talking about the difference between tipsy/buzzed and drunk, discussing how incapacitated you can get if you’re stupid drunk (a lot of students don’t know!), and talking about how to pace oneself when drinking might be a good idea. Hopefully it will also diminish the influence of their dumb friends, too. So many people have been goaded into unsafe drinking by their slightly more experienced friends who don’t know how to do it, either.</p>
<p>My son has to take a three hour online alcohol education course prior to arriving at his college or he won’t be allowed to participate in orientation. Is this not standard? He started it last night and reported that it was actually not a joke, nor something you can just blow through the night before. </p>
<p>This article and the comments afterward leave out the issue of students with chronic illnesses, psychiatric conditions and other disabilities that should, indeed, be accommodated with excused absences, extensions on papers, make-up exams and other “special arrangements” by disabilities office, dean, and/or professor, by law.</p>
<p>And though I cannot imagine a parent contacting a professor, if a child has a disability, it may be appropriate for a parent to contact an administrator if disability is rendering the student unable to do so.</p>
<p>Wow Momzie, that’s a bit of a hassle for the new student! Isn’t that was Freshman Orientation is for, to introduce the newly minted underclassman to life on campus and life in the classroom? Where’s the need for an online prison sentence?</p>
<p>Juillet, sounds like you mother took the reasonable approach in making sure you were “well armed” for the social/cultural adjustments of college. I’ve asked Lake Jr. more than once if we should take a short trip across the border to Canada to imbibe (a learning experience, that is). He is stunningly uninterested.</p>
<p>The biggest drunks and druggies I encountered in college were the ones whose parents would be most scandalized that their precious children would even think to partake of such nonsense!</p>
<p>Must returned from D’s orientation last week. The Dean of Students told the parents that we need to behave as a rock bands handler the next month before school starts and have all the hard conversations around sex, drugs, alcohol and money. If we hadn’t already. They certainly addressed the hard subjects and gave the opening to talk about the social transitions. </p>