<p>My D laughs that her summer homework assignment before her freshman year was “Sex and drinking and drugs.” Of course she means the online work and tests.</p>
<p>So glad someone posted this.</p>
<p>I particularly liked this piece of advice: </p>
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<p>Didn’t we just have a discussion here on CC about this? Where several parents admitted to editing their kids college papers?</p>
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<p>My kid goes to a West Coast college. The airport near the school isn’t huge, so last year there weren’t even any late enough flights that she could have taken if she had attended her Wednesday afternoon classes (which were cancelled that week). She would have taken the shuttle a fairly long distance to a larger airport to catch a red-eye home if we had booked a flight. I personally think the school, which draws a more national student body than it used to, should just cancel Wednesday classes. But the least professors could do is be clear early in the semester. My kid didn’t come home for Thanksgiving last year because of this. But I am sure all the professors enjoyed dinner with their families locally. >:P </p>
<p>Great article! Two thumbs up. </p>
<p>Intparent, I feel your pain. Flying to the East coast from my neck of the woods painful, even from our major airport there are no good options later in the day. </p>
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I missed the recent discussion, but do remember reading about parents here doing it in the past. It didn’t sound right then, and still doesn’t now. </p>
<p>DD is currently attending a 5 week summer program at her school. There is no curfew…which took some getting used to. I know that on weekends she has gone to some parties that involved drinking. I’m not so naive to think that she isn’t going to partake because mommy says “it’s illegal”. I have given her many talks about drinking responsibly/safely, if you leave your drink, you don’t go back, no matter the dollar amount, the importance of not accepting liquor or other beverage from a stranger & no pictures of herself with a beer or red cup in her hand on social media. </p>
<p>I called a friend who works in AIDS prevention and she sent me a huge envelope of condoms. She sent enough for DD and her roommates, maybe even enough to supply the whole RC.</p>
<p>Being naive can have irreversible consequences.</p>
<p>Well said, NHM. Irreversible consequences.</p>
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It was painful for DS as well. What was worse for him: both our home airport and the airport near the campus are not major airports. He often needed to leave home when it was dark, and arrived at the campus when it was dark also.</p>
<p>DS told us he rarely drank as an UG student. Not sure whether it is totally true though. Before he went to college, we bought a bottle of red wine and introduced the wine to him. I am pretty sure that he did not drink before college.</p>
<p>This is all really great advice. As someone who works in Housing, I particularly appreciated the advice about not contacting administrators except in a situation of mortal peril. I had a parent last year who actually called me a week or two into classes and asked if my staff would wake up her son every morning to make sure he was going to class.</p>
<p>Um…no.</p>
<p>It’s really important to remember that there are lots of rules and regulations surrounding student privacy. If you want to give ME information, that’s fine. However, I cannot–morally, ethically, and sometimes even legally–give YOU information about your student. I can’t even tell you if they live in my building. First of all, I don’t know that you’re actually who you say you are. Secondly, even if I can somehow prove that you’re the parent, I CAN’T prove that you have a good relationship with your student or that student wants to hear from you.</p>
<p>I’ll usually say something along the lines of, “if you give me the student’s name, I will have one of my staff members go up to their room and ask them to call you.”</p>
<p>Lastly, please, please, PLEASE don’t go around the department you’re trying to work with. We have a lot of parents whose students are trying to move rooms go above our heads to the VPSA or the President in order to get their student moved more quickly. This makes our jobs heck on earth and makes it really difficult to keep track of who is where–which wouldn’t be an issue if we could follow our processes. And this can actually endanger students in the event of an emergency, if we don’t know who is supposed to be where.</p>
<p>I recognize that I’m probably preaching to the choir; tell your friends. ;)</p>
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<p>Wait… she is a college student? Why would she have a curfew? </p>
<p>LOLOL she just graduated high school last month. She will be officially matriculating in August. </p>
<p>^My kids have never technically had a curfew.</p>
<p>So this must be some kind of pre-frosh experience on campus? Well… I assume they wouldn’t have a curfew, they would treat them like the college freshman they really are. At my kid’s college the 5 week program prior to starting gives them a few credits – so they really are college students. :D</p>
<p>@sylvan8798…cool, no curfew. Around these parts, there was no way I could sleep without knowing she was in the house & safe. </p>
<p>@intparent yes…it’s pre frosh. Yes, she is earning credits…It’s been tough letting go, shifting roles of both mother and father. I’ve been doing very well. I ask no questions! I don’t call or text unless she initiates contact, I even told her that if & when she finds herself at a party & the driver has imbibed, take a cab back to campus or call me. No matter the hour. No questions asked, no lectures. I just want her to be safe. </p>
<p>@intparent</p>
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I imagine they don’t want to put themselves in a box in case they have to miss a class or two before that due to illness or something else unforeseeable. Having said that, if the school has a decent percentage of the student body from more than a few hundred miles away (within a 6 hour drive or so) then I agree with your later statement that they should just have Wednesday off as a matter of policy. When I was at Tulane, back when the turkeys were still being hunted with musket ball rifles, we did not get Wednesday off. When my D was there the last few years, they did get it off. So somewhere along the way someone wised up.</p>
<p>Also reminds me of one of my favorite stories. My freshman year the honors chem class only had 12 students, and it was team taught by the profs in 5-6 week segments in their specialty. The guy teaching in the November segment was this very short prof, who was also pretty sarcastic, named Fagley. I can only imagine how much he got teased. So a couple weeks before T-day one of my classmates pipes up and says “Dr. Fagley, will we be having class the Wednesday before Thanksgiving?”. Fagley gives him this 5-10 second silent death stare and then says “Why yes Mr. Boudreaux, we will. It is on the calendar, isn’t it? I do hope that isn’t going to interfere with your ski vacation in the Alps.” It was withering.</p>
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The very first thing I would have done on my 18th birthday is go down to the courthouse and get that changed.</p>
<p>Maybe I’m just not sentimental, but can’t a college student go without visiting home for Thanksgiving? It’s actually the perfect time to visit with local fellow students’, profs’, or staffs’ families as a guest. (Please don’t flame me.) </p>
<p>Mine don’t come home for Thanksgiving. It’s too short and not worth it to us at all.</p>
<p>It is pretty sad to have a major holiday without your kids for the first time in many years, especially if they are your last and the nest is empty. And not every kid gets an invitation to go to someone’s house… some kids are shy, some make more friends who are from further away from school, etc. My kid sure isn’t going to lament her situation to a professor to try to wrangle an invitation.</p>
<p>I never went home. It was 600 miles and, as I mentioned, we had classes on Wednesday. Flying was out of the question due to the expense back then. Most years I was invited to a prof’s house, but my sophomore year there were a dozen or so of us that were friends and all staying, so we did our own. One of the dorms had a full kitchen, so we had everything the typical T-day has plus some Louisiana specialties. Stlll one of the best ever.</p>
<p>My kids always came home thanks to getting the Wednesday off and cheap Southwest flights. But a lot of kids do stay through the holiday, especially with the end of the semester being so close at hand.</p>