<p>So DD moved to college last week - freshman. She’s not happy about where she is going, but is resigned and accepting. She got sick within the first week (costochondritis… yep, new word for me too…), but after clinic visit is improving. Before she left we didn’t talk about how much or little communication she would like to have from home - so I am asking - how often and in what way do you communicate with your freshman at college? </p>
<p>Personally, I’d like to send little texts or emails to share fun or interesting things from home- with no expectation of a response, really just to share… but have held back, not wanting to “intrude”… but have then wondered if my holding could be interpreted as uncaring or uninterested… just not sure of the proper balance here, please share.</p>
<p>My daughter is graduated 2 years already…but i did text whenever i was in the mood and she always got right back to me. I think its not as “formal” as a phone call, so not intrusive at all. I would guess she’d be happy to have the connection!</p>
<p>My now rising senior daughter had H1N1 rage through her suite freshman year.</p>
<p>Her attitude has been that no news is good news. I told her that I wanted to hear from her once a week because it isn’t much fun being the one on the receiving end of someone calling only when something is wrong.</p>
<p>I will send a text if I need something, but I rarely call her. It has been the same throughout the years of college.</p>
<p>BINGO!!! Like the early Monday morning (because we live overseas) text we got from DS#2 saying that he was in the ER for a weird rash he had had all weekend!!! AUGH!!!</p>
<p>hanaliy - I understand your desire to text your daughter - but it sounds like she has had a tough start to college life, so I would NOT talk about stuff going on at home. Instead, ask her lots of questions…things that will make her “need” to answer you. Focus your calls/texts on HER, not on things at home - that will only make any home-sickness worse. If she asks…fine. But don’t volunteer.</p>
<p>We had a phone call with our son once a week on Sunday evening, and didn’t communicate the rest of the week, unless it was something important, which was rarely.</p>
<p>I just talked to my freshman son for the first time today. (I held out for three days.) He sounded very happy and excited about his new college, but when we started talking about our dogs I heard a slight change in his voice, with a little more emotion. I am sure he misses them terribly (and of course, since they don’t have opposable thumbs or human voices, they can’t text or call him like we can). So I don’t think I will mention them unless he asks. He did say I can contact him whenever I want, but I am going to try to take my cues from him.</p>
<p>Freshman year - lots of texts back and forth during the week. Phone call once a week (initiated by her, usually when I was in a meeting at work ) Sophomore year, less so.</p>
<p>I held out about a week, last year, her freshman year, not calling or texting or anything because that seems to be the general wisdom.</p>
<p>Discovered Skype that first weekend and my depression/emptynest sadness level improved about seven levels…all last year, we basically texted, facebook messaged or skyped at least a few times a week just to chat a bit and more if we had business to attend to.</p>
<p>She loves her school but she misses us I think about as much as we miss her and you should communicate as often as it makes both of you feel good, that is all that matters. I agree that a quick “How is my girl” text two or three times a week is not obtrusive. Jeez, they are texting their other friends a thousand times a day anyway. hah.</p>
<p>I email when I have something to share that doesn’t require a response (I don’t really text much, but assume it would be similar). I only call when I really, really need to talk to them, and we both pretend I don’t read their facebooks.</p>
<p>Great responses! I really do think it depends on your S or D. I send cards (with money) every few weeks. I did that for my nieces and nephews when they were in college, too. I always received a thank you email or call. When I send $ to S, I always attach a post-it note that says, “Not for Beer!” </p>
<p>Our S spent 5+ hours in the ER last year. He called his sister, not us! We heard about it later that day. Granted he wanted medical advice, which she could give and we couldn’t, but really?</p>
<p>I send an ‘I love you’ text every few days. Nothing else, just ‘I love you.’ (sometimes I add xoxo ;))</p>
<p>We launched our son last year. What really worked well for us was a weekly skype date on Sunday’s. He’d text around noon to set a time (it varied depending on study groups, football tv schedule, etc.). This worked out wonderfully. It made me far less anxious as I always knew when I’d be hearing from him next. Usually he’d call during the week just to catch up, and he’d text a few times a week as well. I very rarely texted him unless I needed something right away. I only called him twice for urgent things…actually I texted and asked him to call me. I am assuming we will continue with the weekly skype calls this year as well.</p>
<p>My son loves trivia, so I’d send him the final Jeopardy and he’d respond, therefore was alive! Otherwise Sunday afternoons, we’d text and ask for a good time to call. Still do this one year post-graduation.</p>
<p>“We had a phone call with our son once a week on Sunday evening, and didn’t communicate the rest of the week, unless it was something important, which was rarely.”</p>
<p>with DD1 (starting sophomore year this week) very often, especially picture texting. I’m often sent samples of her work in studio, her reviews, things happening in her dorm or department, and her, ehem, social life :). For the first few weeks even daily pics of dorm food fare :). As she’s getting an apartment from now on the trend will increase. Probably a dozen texts a day plus one phone call usually on my way from work.</p>
<p>Oldest daughter - social - called several times a day, usually as she walked to and from class: not needy, just chatty and who better to listen than parents.</p>
<p>Son called once a week usually, sometimes the once a week stretched to 10 days or so.</p>
<p>Youngest daughter called once a day to visit, usually when in for the night. Occasionally she’d call an extra time or two during the day but always for a specific reason.</p>
<p>I seldom sent a text or called. I let their fingers do the walking ;). However, I did send snail mail once a week or so. I never wrote a letter but rather clipped comic strips, random news articles that pertained to something of interest, occasionally a cute card. I also sent regular “care packages” with fun or useful stuff: in October, Halloween decorations, a pair of tights for colder weather, a bottle of nail polish, a package of Goldfish crackers … I filled one of the post office flat rate boxes. I quit both the snail mail and the boxes when it seemed the time came to stop. Nothing negative, it just seemed time. Truthfully the snail mail was fun for all - never intrusive - just a bunch of clippings. (I read the paper daily and enjoy magazines so just kept scissors handy.) When I visited dorm rooms/apartments, I’d see the comics pinned up in random places.</p>
) Sophomore year, less so.</p>