<p>Social media sure has its drawbacks but the ability to have alternatives like Skype, Facetime, texting, FB chat, email, Instagram, etc. really is amazing how it can keep families “together”. </p>
<p>I do like texting, cause I often cannot hear well and I can reference back information, without having to ask again.
Kids hate that.</p>
<p>I didn’t use the phone much until I had kids, then I called grandmother nearly every day, my mom about 2 or 3 times a week.
We also moved to be closer to my grandparents when we bought a house.
After my grandparents died, I kept the same pattern of calls to my mom, i would call her whenever I was going to a certain grocery store, cause it was just far enough away, after she died, it made me sad to go there.</p>
<p>Youngest just graduated this year, but stops by as frequently as she can, she doesn’t like to talk on the phone, (& I can’t hear unless I put the headphones on). Although she would call when she was walking to school, and her sister calls her dad when she is walking to the store.</p>
<p>However my husbands parents are both still alive and my H, very, very, rarely calls them, mostly when my youngest is in town and wants to see them.
He doesn’t call the kids either except once in a blue moon, even when they’ve left messages.
Now when his best friend was alive, he would talk to him for an hour or more I could tell he was talking to Jim, because his conversation was peppered with " no sh*+?".
;)) </p>
<p>We talk to our kids often. I’d say it averages out to a few times a week. Sometimes it’s every day, but occasionally four or five days will go by if they are particularly busy. I don’t consider keeping in touch with my own kids to be an imposition on their time any more than they do on their end. It would annoy me to feel like I had to keep to some formalized schedule. I know their schedules, but if I happen to call when they are busy, we keep it short. Often they call us when they are walking home or on lunch break. We text during the day if there is an immediate question. </p>
<p>Yes, adult kids are busy. But we were busy as young adults, too, and we had many fewer ways of keeping in touch. And yet many of us still managed to call our parents once a week or so. I don’t consider it an onerous burden to expect of a child. There is still such a thing as respect for one’s parents, even now. Or there should be.</p>
<p>
My wife has the similar issue. She does not like to use a smartphone in general because of this hearing issue. When we changed our smartphones, we were able to locate a phone (iPhone 4S) that is reasonably loud for her, and she started to use it more and more. But I think she still likes to use the traditional landline phone. (Yes, we still subscribed to that, mainly for her.)</p>
<p>Re: texting. One of my colleagues complains that the screen is too small for his comfort. He said this kind of modern gadget is not designed for an old person like him. I think I could still tolerate it but somehow I like the “look and feel” on an iPhone than on most Android phones. When I was just graduated from college, I met an old engineer (whose specialty is in the analog circuits) who refused to use any instrument with keyboards. He only used those instruments with physical knobs which he could turn. (this happened in the heart of Silicon Valley.) He would soon retire at that time - in and out of hospital very frequently.</p>
<p>Re:FB. At one time, wife closed her FB account. She was asked why she wants to close the account. She added a comment: No one to FB to. Actually, even though DS had a FB account, he once complained that it eats up much of people’s time without adding much value to their lives. In college, one of his professors actually discouraged the students from spending time on this kind of social media.</p>
<p>Mcat, there is certainly truth to that FB logic - the eating up time and then the fact that parents shouldn’t assume that their kids will want to “friend” them. Which during the teen and college years is often for the best! You might find that as they get more settled in the adult world they will be more open/ready to be FB friends. 
</p>
<p>My D’s will call me (when they need something or have down time), but I know they would rather I didn’t call them on a regular basis. They prefer text or facebook messaging and will respond to that almost immediately throughout the day. Not long drawn out conversations, but short things as they come up. This keeps us involved in each other’s lives on an almost daily basis. If I do need to speak to them I will often text asking for them to give me a call when they can, or I will just leave a voice mail. They are not treating me any different than how they communicate with their friends. Overall there is an aversion to phone conversations among the young.</p>
<p>^ DS “trusts” my wife enough so he FB-friends her when she still had the FB account (not sure if she reactivates.) But he does not want me to go into his FB account. I guess he thinks I could “do more harm” in the sense that I might be able to pry more out of his private lives if I want to. He is quite confident that his mom would not do much harm. This is a problem you will have when your child thinks you know too much about computers.</p>
<p>When DS was on an out-of-town trip in high school (school-related event), I could find out, without asking him, which restaurant he went to for his dinner, what they ordered, and with whom he went to that restaurant. This was because some of his friends wrote too much on his/her liveJournal and they were not savvy enough to keep it private. I have not done such “spy” jobs for many years but he was still concerned about what I might be able to do as of today. (an example of “bad” parenting here. But this was still as bad as the parents of DS’s friend did: They installed some keystroke monitoring software on her computer , without letting her know about it, so that they would know everything she was doing on the computer. Her brother found it out and told her.)</p>
<p>DS1 didn’t send me a friend request until he graduated college. I was OK with that. Ds2 sent me a friend request a a college feshman. I think he was more homesick than his brother. ;)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I’m the only one in my family who has that aversion. It annoys my DH and both Ds because they like to call and chat. I don’t think my Ds talk on the phone much to their friends, though.</p>
<p>^ This reminds me of an awkward moment when we had a dinner and one of the girls called DS (because he did not have a cell phone) and he had to talk to her next to the dinner table in front of everybody. That phone is not a wireless one and he had no escape. This happened when he was in high school.</p>
<p>When I pay the phone bill, I notice the youngster really does not call much. He texts a lot though.</p>
<p>Since we hadn’t heard from either S for awhile, this thread prompted us to give them a call. I called S1…he was asleep. I woke him up (it was 3pm). DH called S2. He was driving to a restaurant for dinner. He called back later. This is why I wait for them to call! We always seem to call at a bad time!</p>
<p>D calls often. Sometimes every few days but several times in one day is not all that unusual, either. And, I do get calls while sleeping or driving, too. No big deal. S calls much, much less frequently and generally with a purpose or immediate need. We have no reluctance to call either kid anytime. It doesn’t happen much, though.</p>
<p>^^^Lol, ditto for D1. She is in grad school, and it’s impossible for me to know a time to call as a matter of habit. Her schedule is all over the place. That’s also why I usually just let her take the reigns as it relates to when a phone call is placed.</p>
<p>^^That’s why I like to text. Texting is way less obtrusive, and blends in with how everyone else communicates to them. If I place a phone call, it stands out and seems more urgent. And then when it isn’t, they tend to be like --why did you call? I have never been asked, “why did you text?” because texts can wait and do not require immediate feedback.</p>
<p>As for facebook, when d’s first opened their accounts when they were young, they had to give me their passwords. They knew I’d be checking what was on their wall and whether it was appropriate. They entered into that agreement willingly (especially since they knew that there were many kids out there who should have been monitored). It was just not in their nature to be stupid like that; they understood that whatever was on facebook was public knowledge and were savvy about it.</p>
<p>Several years ago I made my own facebook account and it was not an issue for us to friend each other. My D’s sometimes seem disappointed if I haven’t seen the latest photos they have posted. Our facebook relationship has evolved so that I am no longer seen as a monitor. It is a way for us to communicate, share photos, videos, postings and keep up with one another’s lives. </p>
<p>^^^Yes, for those reasons, texting is great. The recipient is free to respond when convenient.</p>
<p>I also tell my kids that if I call and they are busy to not worry about answering. I’d rather not have them answer than to get on and tell me it’s a bad time. If it’s an emergency or something then they know I’ll just keep calling (one time right after another!) - which would then make them pick up. That’s also what voice mail is for - to leave a message and just let them know that you were calling to say hi or whatever!</p>
<p>We call our older son once a week Sunday afternoon his time. He usually answers, if he doesn’t we try to get him Monday or Tuesday evening. He’ll never ever call us.</p>
<p>We Skype with younger son also Sunday afternoon - a few hours earlier since he’s on this coast. He lets us know via email or text earlier in the day when a good time to call is. He’s much more apt to call at random times if he needs something from us.</p>
<p>Texting is a great boon, especially for those of us with kids who live in different time zones. D gets home from work when it’s midnight where her parents live, so during the week it’s hard to find time to call when D isn’t at work or when she or we aren’t sleeping. It’s important for parents to communicate and show our adult children we still love them and care about them. I definitely do that often, but sometimes I feel frustrated when other mothers make assumptions about my relationship with my kids based on the difference between their own and my communication patterns! </p>
<p>I like to hear my kids’ voice, so text doesn’t do it for me all the time. When my kids want to get hold of me, they’ll call on every line they know of - my cell, landline at work, my assistant’s line. But of course, if I were to call them more than once, they get annoyed. Now, they’ll text me to let me they couldn’t talk and would call me back later.</p>