travel overseas, solo? A friend of mine has a son (just turned 18) who wants to backpack alone through Europe; she’s told him that with a friend she’d be fine with it, however, either his friends don’t want to go, or their parents wont allow it. I’ve been thinking how I’d respond to my D (also 18) if she came to me with this request - I’d say “no!”
My friend has offered her son various compromises i.e. Teen Tours / Outward Bound etc. and he’s not interested. He wants to go-it alone…Thoughts? BTW - this boy is well travelled (all over the world with his family) but not ‘worldly’; gentle and naive in many ways
I admit I’d be nervous at 18. It seems to be quite different than a 21 year old who does this in that the older kid has spent a few years living on his/her own.
Neither of my kids would have done well with that kind of trip on their own at their age. I can’t imagine why he’d want to go alone either. My daughter did several trips with an organization in hs and in college was with her friends.
When do you all think they are ‘old enough’ or when they might be more worldly etc…? I really feel for this kid; he wants so desperately to go and have his big adventure. Once they get to college, we parents have no control over where, and with whom they are, anyway. The world sure is a frightening place - not the world in which I spread my wings all those years ago!
Did he just finish HS? Or does he have a year of college? I agree that I would be concerned about a newly minted HS grad just turned 18 backpacking along in Europe. After a year (or preferably 2) of college, would be much more comfortable. Just the experience of figuring things out on your own, even if in a dorm, would make me more supportive.
I don’t think the world is more dangerous and it is certainly easier to keep in touch. When I traveled cross-country at the ripe old age of 22 with a friend, there were no cell phones, texting, emails so my parents only heard from us sporadically if at all (long distance calls were expensive!). At least now he could be in touch most days (unless he is going somewhere very remote).
My nephew did a short trip when he was 20. He’d been to europe before with his family, and his girlfriend was there and he met up with her for some of the time.
I think he really enjoyed being alone for 1-2 weeks of his trip, but he was also glad to have some plans and company for part of it.
Maybe a compromise with part of the trip planned with others and part free range?
@momo2x2018 But at college, you are starting to gain Independence in steps. You live in a dorm with RAs, you have a roommate, you have food made for you in the dining hall…there is support there.
Yes, you could run off at any point, but somebody would notice you were no longer there.
Mine travelled alone at early 18 - Europe, South America, Asia. They did have quite a bit of traveling experience beforehand. Was I nervous? Of course, but I admire their adventurousness. It’s something I wouldn’t have felt comfortable doing at their age. I didn’t want my own fears to squelch their spirit and independence.
In past generations, kids were married, self-supporting, doing all kind of things by 18.
Mine has travelled alone with a friend (not overseas) and is going to Japan for 11 days with kids from school soon, but totally alone seems to be a different matter. I’m a big fan of the buddy system too.
I went to live in Europe at 18. I spent many years traveling during my teens, twenties and thirties and it shaped who I am as a person. I wouldn’t trade it for a second. While I respect the parents need to worry, that is going to be a regret later in this child’s life. I have to say though I am not sexist, I would require a daughter to travel with a companion ( just due to human trafficking-no other reason though). For a son I would not worry as much. Though the parent should expect updates and info on the regular basis. It’s true some people are more mature. But traveling breeds maturity and introspection faster than most things. In addition, a Summer traveling in Europe will give him such an edge when he enters classes.
So sorry that we have lost the zest for living due to fears of what might happen. How is this kid going to be able to ever grow up?
I’m a fan of the buddy system when traveling - regardless of age. So many things can happen that it is just a good idea to have someone with you in case of an emergency. My suggestion if it were my child would be to find a teen tour group that provides the students with as much freedom as possible to go off on their own while requiring them to at least come together in the evenings to ensure everyone is accounted for and well.
I backpacked internationally with a friend the summer after HS graduation. It was relatively common to save up for this throughout HS where I grew up, and it was not in a rich area by any means. My relatives kicked in extra $$ for my graduation but we basically traveled on a strict budget.
I was and am fine with it, even solo, which I also did (at 20). With precautions, of course.