Texas A&M is I’m showing for CS - $6671 a semester next year so let’s say $13,400. They show housing food at $6500 - so that’s $13K. So I’m seeing $26.4K - but that might not be a full meal plan nor include books and personal things.
You said $33K - so I’ll go with that.
$33K x 4 is $132k. You can borrow $27K but only $5500 the first year.
So where are you getting the other $105K from? Not part time work.
So yes, if you have no money and no means to obtain and your parents aren’t willing to fund you, you cannot go to A&M.
I don’t see a path at least.
So is it ok to graduate with debt. I don’t like it - but a nominal amount is ok.
Can you pull this off? No. You likely will not be able to get significant loans without your parents sign off - and if you could, they would be onerous.
Things have cost - short of full rides - and even they have costs - where do you go at holidays, where do you live in summer, etc?
You can only borrow $27000 over 4 years and need to have your parents to fill out the fafsa to even get that. CS graduates seem to be struggling a bit with employment lately.
If I get a cosigner, why can I not apply for loans? I plan to work part time, 5 days a week. I am taking 12 dual credit hours and high school classes and working 24 hours a week and doing fine. I calculated if I use the part time money to pay off the loan, I should have under 30k of debt left. Is that bad?
Do you have a relative willing to let you live with them AND cosign loans AND whose credit score is strong enough to borrow 5.5k a year for you on top of their own loans (or even more than 5.5k)?
You can’t borrow the full cost of college - even with a cosigner that has a top credit score no bank will accept that level of risk.
Your solution is
1/ have (no/low cost) housing with relatives
2/ work full time over the summer, part time during the year while attending whatever college you can afford near your relatives
If your parents sign FAFSA and you borrow the 5.5k that gives you a bit more wiggle room
(3/ do well and transfer to TAMU or anywhere you can)
ALTERNATIVE solution
stay with relatives, work full time, apply for Fall 2027 to multiple universities
Thirty thousand dollars in personal debt is about average for someone taking the full, subsidized loan amounts permitted by the feds. However, finding someone to co-sign for the rest is not something I envy you trying to do.
I think given this, you are in a bit of a pickle, because if you make moves to do things they don’t like (whether that’s moving out, going to school somewhere they don’t approve of, etc), they hold all the control of your school records. Even if you were to find someplace to live, find a family member to cosign on the loans, etc…every school is going to require a final transcript, and as a homeschooler your parents really have control over whether or not they choose to send a final transcript (I guess unless your family has used an outside accreditation agency, but I don’t get the impression those are common in Texas). It’s remotely possible that a school might waive the final transcript requirement given the special circumstances…but it wouldn’t be something to count on.
@nathan0707 would need to secure an official DE transcript from the CC he’s attending AND get his homeschool transcripts sent to the college(s) near his relatives ASAP. He wouldn’t be able to share his plan till his parents have given him or sent the final transcript.
Not sure what can be done if they refuse to send the transcript due to their decision to “hold him back” a year despite his GPA. However securing the official transcript from the CC before anything is announced to the parents is ESSENTIAL since the CC cannot hold on to the transcript even if the parents hold on to the homeschool transcripts, and that CC transcript might be all he has.
Okay, two potential huge obstacles out of the way.
(Also, huge relief bc “conversion” torture is legal in Texas but can’t be mandated if you’re 18+).
Next steps: LGBTQ support network (group, local organisation, national helpline); relatives who can take you in.
At this point, your choice is stay home (with all the risks to your mental health) and MAYBE attend TAMU in 2 years or find a college you can attend from a relative’s home before (maybe) transferring to TAMU.
It’s a lot to take in considering you thought you’d be going to TAMU in six months so do reach out to a LGBTQ support network of your choice.
OP- hugs. It really does get better. I have a close friend who grew up in the Bible belt- his parents still refuse to meet his husband who he’s been with for two decades- and married to for much of that time. He’s living his best life- is sad about his family (he sees them occasionally, alone, since they won’t welcome his husband in their home) but has managed to find a middle ground. They are in denial about his lifestyle (or not denial, just pretending) and he gets to be the person he felt he was meant to be. Great job, wonderful friends and community, loving relationship.
For now- give some thought to a quick “bait and switch” with your parents. Live at home for another year, but not another year of HS- enroll in an actual university – SNHU? that has a respected online program. Your professors will be grading your work, your advisor will be picking your classes– not your parents. You can pitch this as you needing more intellectual and academic rigor in CS and math- no diss to your parents. You’ll be in their home- their condition- but you’ll be making progress towards an actual CS degree- your condition.
Many or most of those credits will transfer down the road to a four year university. You don’t need the interim step of a community college hybrid/more HS. You are ready for college. But take freshman year (you don’t need to plot out the rest of your life) to live at home, continue working your job (congrats on your promotion!) and saving as much money as you can.
You can figure out the next three years down the road. But you’ll be 25% of the way towards a Bachelor’s degree after a year, and you won’t have exhausted yourself with the fight with your parents. And in the meantime, float the idea to your extended family and friends that long term you’d be happy to consider boarding with them in exchange for occasional babysitting or lawn mowing or garbage taking out or whatever part time work they’d consider in lieu of paying rent.
Get creative. You can do this. Hugs to you, it gets better.
First - I want to say that there ARE many people out here that see your real self and want you to suceed.
But yes - the money issue is a real one and many parents use it to control their kids. I used to live in Philadelphia and most of the homeless kids were LGBTQ kids whose parents had kicked them out. It sucks, and I don’t want that future for you.
Some thoughts:
Are there ANY community colleges near relatives that respect your sexuality and will not bend to your parents? Any cousins, maybe? CC will let you get more of a college experience, and it tends to be much less expensive. They are used to students working and going to school so they are set up for that. SOME have dorms but that will add to your cost. You will need a car OR a perhaps public transportation. After two years, you can see where you are financially and relationship-wise and perhaps transfer to a 4 year. Many 2 year colleges have IT related focuses that wil lgive you skills to get a career in the field. You may even find your future employer may help with finishing your bachelors.
I agree that working for Starbucks and going to the online college is the next best option. I’ve know a few people who have done that (most in situations like yours) --and they have sucessfully gotten their degree. Is it the same experience? No but it is STILL life experience -you will make friends and hey - you can move to many other places because Starbucks is everywhere! Just make sure to find a place where you can afford the housing. I think this might be the best option (as much as it pains me to say that) because you clearly have strong work ethic and persistance. No one can have control over you if you pay your own expenses.
There are full-rides, but they are hard to get – and you’ll likely have to wait a year to apply.
I’m wishing you the best of luck. Please DO contact LGBTQ support groups. You are not alone.
Unfortunately, homeschooling is often about parental control over the student rather than in the best interests of the student. Of course, there are exceptions such as national level athletes engaged in intense year-round training, dangerous situations, etc.
so do reach out to a LGBTQ support network of your choice.