<p>My son is a freshman (receiving substantial FA) at a NE boarding school, and is extremely happy with the current school.</p>
<p>Last week, he received a letter from one of the HADES schools asking him to consider applying to that school. In the letter, that school referenced the mathematics competitions that my son participated in last year. Son had applied (requested FA) to this school last year, but was rejected(not even waitlisted). He had not thought about reapplying until he received that letter. But now, he finds it too enticing not to give that school another try.</p>
<p>Here is my dilema as a parent. The current school has been very good to my son and daughter. Both of them receive substantial FA. I feel bad telling the school that my son wants to explore other schools, but at the same time I don’t want to curb my son’s enthusiasm. Obviously, I have decided to let my son reapply to the HADES school. For selfish reasons, I don’t want the current school to misconstrue son’s attempt of applying to another school as a rejection of the current school. If the HADES school rejects son again, he will have to stay back at the current school (which is just fine by me and my son too). In addition he and his sister need FA going forward. All of a sudden, a good situation could turn into one of mistrust from the current school’s perspective. </p>
<p>What is the best way to deal with this delicate situation with the current school?</p>
<p>I would talk to the HADES school you are interested in about this dilemma you are in. They may be able to make a prelimary decision based on his unofficial transcript and last year’s rec letters. At least, you should get an idea on whether they are genuinely interested in having him next year. Sometimes the invitations are sent out in batch based on a certain cutoff score, and it doesn’t mean the school has looked into his file.</p>
<p>OK, as a parent who has been through this (applying to another school and asking for transcripts), I’ll tell you that it is not comfortable. However, be upfront and honest about why you are doing so. In our case, it was about the hockey and the school’s failure to adequately recruit (can you say 9 skaters and 2 goalies). We expressed our legitimate concern about the situation (possibility of no team next season) and let it be known that we were applying in the event that they failed to recruit enough players (half of those 11 were to graduate) to field a team the next year. </p>
<p>I don’t think they administration necessarily appreciated the kick in the rear end, but interestingly enough there were changes made and we did not end up moving and retained our generous FA.</p>
<p>That being said, I’m going to ask you what in HADES (pun intended) are you thinking? Your son is happy. I’m going to assume here that he is doing well in school. What objective that he is missing at his current school are you possibly going to get from HADES besides the snob appeal? And that is exactly the message that you would be sending to your current school.</p>
<p>This is like getting turned down by the homecoming queen for the dance, taking out another girl and leaving her by the punchbowl when the homecoming queen bats her eye at you. </p>
<p>What are you teaching your son by this? It certainly isn’t a sense of loyalty to a school that admitted has been generous and is doing a good job with your son.</p>
<p>Over on the regular part of CC, there is a thread by newmassdad regarding his daughter (who was rejected at 5 ivies (where umpteen of her classmates weren’t) and went to U Chicago and ended up a Rhodes scholar beating out multiple Ivy Leaguers. Your son does not need HADES any more than his daughter needed an Ivy League diploma.</p>
<p>Dance with the girl that brung you, I say. Don’t look back.</p>
<p>You know your child is thriving where he is—you don’t know that he’ll thrive in the next place. His sister is there—how will it effect her time there?</p>
<p>Plus starting over with friends and teachers is hard. My child transferred to BS as a junior this fall and promptly got mono. The hardest part for her was that the teachers didn’t know what she was capable of and she hadn’t had time to build a support network.</p>
<p>It sounds like a form letter and probably doesn’t merit much excitement. Wait until he scores high on the PSAT! You will be deluged with college mailings, some of them from very competitive colleges. But that doesn’t mean these colleges will accept your son just because of his PSAT scores.</p>
<p>If your son is thriving at his school and being challenged appropriately, then I think it would be best to stay put. Does his current school offer math beyond AP Calculus BC, and is he on track to reach beyond that level? Will he complete AP Calculus BC in 11th grade or earlier? If his current school does not offer the kind of advanced math that he is on track to take, then that is the only reason I can think of to look elsewhere. If you decide to look elsewhere, then I would open it up to more schools. </p>
<p>Again, I would not try to switch schools just because of a marketing mailing.</p>
<p>If your son is unhappy to his school, then it is a good idea to look into other schools.</p>
<p>I agree with Burb Parent, Swmmr984, and Goaliedad. If your child is thriving where he is, don’t risk that great relationship for a school which rejected him last year. </p>
<p>Posters frequently pop up on CC, asking about letters inviting them to apply from certain schools. Some schools seem to love buying mailing lists of strong math students. I don’t know if they cross-reference those list with their own lists of applicants. Did they refer to his application last year? If not, I’d assume that it’s marketing–or an attempt to increase the numbers of applications from students likely to score well on the SSAT.</p>
<p>Lots of clear-headed wisdom there from goaliedad, swmmr984, and Burb Parent. Provide your son the best ethical model you can and stick with the commitment you made when accepting generous FA from the school he’s quite happy at right now. Life is full of difficult decisions but some can be made easy simply by asking what the most ethical path is.</p>