So I was at my school library and a girl saw me thought I was masturbating. Now I have to go through a conduct hearing.
I am extremely upset because not only I did not do this act. But also because I have actively tried to avoid any trouble after a terrible experience last semester. Last semester, a girl got scared at me since she thought I wasn’t a student( I am a minority/international student) at the school. She called campus safety and they came to my room and were asking me questions like, “Be honest man, what did you do?” An RA told the girl that I was a student at the school and she said that I didn’t do anything to her…etc.
After that horrible experience I have segregated myself from school were I did most of my classes as Independent studies…etc. I have gotten all A’s in my class. This semester I had used to school library, I run out of independent studies, were I sat in two specific spots, one at a corner and another at the basement. I don’t interact nor talk with anyone, the most would be a ‘Hello.’
Therefore, I am extremely distraught by the fact that a girl claims she saw me masturbate twice at the library and also now the school is making me go through a conduct hearing. My friends tell me that I could be racially profiled as they’ve never had any of those experiences, my school is about 90% white. All I want is for the school to back off and leave me alone. I don’t party, and currently I have a 3.7 GPA and I could graduate this semester(3yrs).
I wouldn’t go crying “Racism” if I were you, unless someone burned a cross on your front lawn or something totally obvious like that, calling people racist is only going to make things worse.
This case is essentially your word against that of another. The best advice I an give is to give an honest testimony, give your GPA as evidence your are a committed student, and volunteer to take a lie detector test with your accuser doing the same.
If everything you’re saying is a true representation, then yes, I do believe your race may be playing a part in why people are “afraid” of you and accusing you. I also believe it may be playing a part in how you are being treated in reaction to the accusations.
Unfortunately, people tend to recoil and think you are playing the “race card” if you dare to suggest that’s what’s going on. The trouble is that nobody believes they are racist and that their own biases play a part in how they react to and treat others. It’s called “unconscious bias” or “implicit bias” or “implicit association.” Read up on it. It’s why we are going through this wave of heightened racial tensions–because those being discriminated against are fed up, and everyone else is blind to the fact that racial bias plays a large part in how people are treated on an everyday basis.
Now - as to how to handle it --start with documenting every aspect of the incident from your perspective in as dry and factual a manner as you can. Describe what you were doing in the library in a manner similar to this:
At 11am on 2/7/2016, I went to the library and sat down in [location]. I read my books for an hour. At approximately 12:00pm, I left the library. I never saw the girl in question.
Or did you see the girl? Whatever the facts are, you need to document them very solidly–for all we know, it could be a case of mistaken identity, and the girl wasn’t there at the same time you were. You also should document what happened the previous time, including the way the RA treated you. But again, keep it very factual and do not insert emotions like you did in your posting here (which is perfectly fine here–I’m just mentioning it for comparison purposes).
When you go to the hearing, you will have this solid documentation to present and refer to. It would be good if you could also get an advocate–perhaps a student ombudsperson at the school? Or is there a professor who might be of help? Whomever you get, it would be good to have the documentation for them to read and understand your situation.
Hope this helps a little!! I’m sorry about what you’re going through.
Don’t volunteer to take a lie detector test. Not only are they unreliable and unlikely to even be offered in the context of a university honor/conduct board hearing, it’ll make you look out of touch.
choirsandstages gives good advice. I also agree with the first comment that visiting the office of diversity and discussing your concerns is warranted. Find out if you can have a friend or representative or assistant at the hearing with you. Talk to a trusted advisor or a counselor.