@TempeMom, I like to say “a quarter of a million dollars” to people. I think it is even more hair raising to phrase it that way. 
Top 20 colleges for Valley hires. UCSB high
http://www.businessinsider.com/silicon-valley-hiring-most-popular-universities-2015-7
No, but Google is funding a research group just off the UCSB campus doing quantum computing research. Microsoft is doing the same. But, that also includes aspects of physics, EE, and ME. UCSB is big into interdisciplinary research groups.
UCSB’s CS department is strong in specific areas, like cybersecurity, augmented reality and visualization, and some aspects of robotics. Probably some others that I haven’t heard of, but generally specific areas rather than the whole field. They are also strong in areas that require interdisciplinary research with physics, materials, and other departments at UCSB that are particularly strong.
I wouldn’t pay OOS rates for UCSB CS, unless the student was into research and likely to be admitted to the College of Creative Studies (CCS: “A Graduate School for Undergraduates”) for the computing program (which doesn’t sound like this student).
P.S. Not clear on why working at Google/Facebook/etc is supposed to be nirvana. I mean, I get the free food thing, but if you work that many hours, when do you have time to go surfing? And dealing with Silicon Valley traffic? For many students at UCSB, the best outcome in their minds would be to be able to afford to continue living in Santa Barbara.
@barrons, their methodology is not clear, but I assume they used absolute numbers and did not take school size into account. Pretty sure Caltech and Mudd would be represented in they did.
Here is a different list that has a more refined methodology:
http://www.bizjournals.com/sanjose/news/2013/12/17/the-top-10-colleges-that-fuel-the.html
Not that the first list should be disregarded, absolute numbers are also interesting, especially if the friend’s kid isn’t able to gain admission to any of the top 10.
@mathmom Thx. Good data points about merit aid.
@barrons Wow. Go Michigan! The Money list is quite different from US News. Husband likes these kinds of rankings better than US News. I like to mesh all different data points and rankings from multiple sources to see patterns. I also put more emphasis on gut feeling from campus visits and than husband did. Neither son’s college fared too well in this Money ranking, so I won’t be forwarding it!
If the family lives in NJ, they may not be very familiar with basic California geography.
I know I’m not very good with distances between cities in the West (of, sadly, Harrisburg PA). I’m originally from Philly and now live between DC and Baltimore - things are just a lot closer on the East Coast.
My kid at Google doesn’t work that many hours. I hope he works enough to keep them happy! (What he does sounds super duper boring to me.) But he’s not interested in surfing either. 
@barrons OK, I am feeling better. Both sons’ colleges did make the top 20 on this random list for Silicon Valley, even though one college is on the east coast. Not sure if either son will ever end up out there, but l love CA and am trying to convince husband to move back, so I will be prodding both kids to “Go West, Young Man, Go West”…even though it is unlikely that they will consider my opinions…
You are great at finding this data!
Go to indeed and check out CS job and internship listings. They’re all over the place. Silicon Valley is a small piece of the pie. CS grads are in demand by tech companies, defense contractors, government agencies, banking and finance, and on and on. Whatever school you attend, if you can code, there are tons of positions for you all over the country.
@mamabear I now have a great answer for people in the future: “It depends. Check with each individual college.” Thank you. Yes, finding specific merit info on some of the college websites was cumbersome. I did call some colleges with questions. In the end, I guess I just decided to hedge our bets and apply for fin aid everywhere, like throwing out darts (and it was just as painful as being hit by a dart).
@twogirls Impressive! My son got zero merit from Lehigh, even though he was quite serious about Lehigh, had decent stats, and was accepted into one of their small honors programs. We were a little surprised, but we were also aware that white boys who want to study STEM and have no amazing talents or “hooks” are a dime a dozen.
@Chardo The big debate in our family is whether Computer Science or Computer Engineering is a better major for the job market, since son says he is interested in both. Husband thinks computer engineering is a broader major that is more versatile in the marketplace because it incorporates comp sci and more. Son seems more like a comp sci coder guy to me, but I was in liberal arts, so what do I know?
Son is the one who will have to ultimately decide in college, but I am curious what other people think. We asked this question on college campuses, but the people there were either students or professors, so they weren’t really IN business or tech careers yet.
^ Same here. DS got into Lehigh IBE (which requires high stats and interest just to be accepted), with zero merit aid.
My experience, along with others including my nephew (new incoming freshman), is that merit aid is quite rare from Lehigh. Everyone there is already meritorious. Merit aid is typically offered to entice students well above a school’s average. Like the Ivies, it’s hard to be well above average at Lehigh.
With all due respect, look at the title of the thread. The overwhelming implication is that the OP feels it is some kind of duty on his part to make the other party realize the error of his ways. That, to me, is a clear signal of going out of bounds, over the line, etc
I agree with @TempeMom 100% that a well placed, one time comment along the lines of “I am sure you realize that the OOS costs…” is no issue at all. Much beyond that, unless asked, is risky IMO. And again, the title plus the tone of the OP imply heavily this is his issue more than his friend’s.
@Ynotgo ,
Where’d you get the idea that the silicon valley companies were slave-drivers with their hours? Sure some things are time sensitive, and my s’s report that the cool thing about their colleagues is that everyone pulls their weight and offers to do more (the ideal “group project” scenario) but their work-life balance seems pretty good. One lives close to work and had a 5-10 min commute. The other lives up in SF and commutes the distance, typically by a combination of their wi-fi enabled comfy buses (that also have relaxation stuff available) and a motorized skateboard (don’t get me started…). He is currently on a very long vacation with his wife, mostly off the grid. I’d say its a nice work-life balance.
For a software emphasis either could be fine, but each college’s curricula could make a difference. Computer engineering may have a greater emphasis on hardware and more hardware course requirements. Depending on the student’s interest in such areas, it may be more or less desirable.
Computer science at some schools may be more engineering based, with a greater number of math and non-CS science requirements, and ABET accreditation (mainly of relevance to the patent exam), or may have fewer such requirements, allowing for more free electives.
Among schools with good offerings of upper level CS courses, there is no necessarily correct answer to these questions that applies to all students who are interested in CS.
@Chardo That makes me feel a little better about Lehigh, I guess. Misery loves company. My son was also selected for the IBE program this spring. He ended up picking larger school instead, where, unfortunately, he will likely get lost in the crowd. I think he would have been nicely taken care of in that IBE group. We let him make the call, though, especially when the price ended up being the same between Lehigh and several other schools.
@bopper Even though these random mentions of other colleges seem off-topic, I always found it helpful to hear where other kids interested in Comp Sci (and Comp Eng) were applying and their thoughts on those colleges. Of course, tons of kids apply to Lehigh from NJ, so probably everyone already knows a lot about that one.
@MOMANDBOYSTWO - I certainly don’t need all the people in my life to agree with me - my 26 year marriage would have lasted about 3 days if I did!!. But I do have a very low rudeness (as in butting in to my business) tolerance. If you tell me - as one (I thought) close friend did, that we are “both insane and asinine” to spend that much on college, and that we will “regret it someday” it’s going to affect how I feel about you. I just don’t have time for people who aren’t going to be positive. And to me- a coworker butting in is the WORST b/c if the relationship ends up uncomfortable you still see them every day. JMHO
One of my closest friends has a kid the same age as my D- therefore we did college search/application at the same time. (we even did some tours together) Their criteria couldn’t have been more different from ours - and they ended up with diametrically opposed types of schools on their final lists. Friend and I still shared every bit of the journey, and supported each other all the way.
I guess the bottom line is- I simply cannot see a way that this is the OP’s business. Unless this person has been living under a ROCK - they know out of state school costs more than in state school. Plus, it seems like all this is in the preliminary phase anyway- who knows what will happen by the time the kid is actually applying.
@ucbalumnus Helpful.
At his university, Comp Sci and Comp Eng are both housed in the engineering school, which is a benefit to him since he is still undecided. He says that kids in both majors appear to take the same relative courses first semester, and most kids don’t declare a major until after at least two semesters, so he has a while to figure it all out. I really don’t see him as a hardware guy, but I had heard, like you said, that many computer engineers actually go into software anyway.
I don’t know if Comp Sci in his school is ABET-accredited or not. Something to look into. I know the Comp Eng is ABET.
At some schools, one or both majors may be filled to capacity, so that one major may be more competitive or difficult to enter than the other (e.g. requires a higher college GPA). This may have the effect of causing some students to settle for the less desired one.
@toowonderful Your friend who said you were “insane and asinine” definitely sounds a little too opinionated. I would have been totally offended by that kind of “advice” and language as well. Almost comical that she felt so strongly about YOUR child’s decision and YOUR financial future.
Your other close friend sounds like much more fun to be around. Good friends should be able to come to different conclusions about colleges, religion, politics, etc, but still be supportive of each other.
Similar to your story, my older son’s first official college visit was to VA Tech with a friend’s family and me. The friend LOVED VA Tech and applied ED. My son walked away saying NO WAY. (Mostly because he disliked a fat, slightly annoying lady who represented the Corps of Cadets and talked forever. Son kept wondering how someone representing the military could be so overweight. He and his friend were interested in the Corps of Cadets, because they both were applying for ROTC scholarships that could be used at Tech only if you were in the Corps.).
End of story: We are all still great friends… My son went to a college where all of the ROTC officers were amazingly fit. The friend was miserable in the Corps of Cadets and dropped out of it, but stayed on at VA Tech and loved it, without the ROTC Scholarship.
Final note: The OP on this thread does not seem to be obnoxious at all, like your one friend. From what I read, it seems like she is trying to be helpful. After reading everyone’s comments on this thread, I am guessing that she will tread lightly in offering information.