<p>Another who thinks that making the list for the boss’s benefit is a non-starter. Your boss either knows already or doesn’t want to know. Bringing boss a laundry list is to my ears going to sound a lot like a middle school girl “and then she said…” and “then she rolled her eyes and laughed” and “she won’t leave until I leave”…it’s not cooking the books or crimes and misdeamenors. ALSO then what? Is boss going to fire FAB based on the list? Really?</p>
<p>If the list makes YOU happy, to document etc, that is fine but legally speaking the list gets you no where and isn’t going to be enough to force boss’s hand. </p>
<p>Agree with above poster who suggested getting your resume in order and giving your boss a head’s up–I doubt after 23 years she’d fire you for looking/standing up to FAB.</p>
<p>This depends on the state/jurisdiction where the audio/video taping is taking place. In some states, only one person/party needs to consent. In others, both/all parties need to consent. </p>
<p>I had a very toxic employee who we kept on for years. Why? She did a low paying dead end job for years and never asked for a raise. Plus the job she did for us (bookkeeping) was not something we could ask another worker to do in her absence. And neither me or my partner wanted to go through the brain damage of placing an ad, going through 100 resumes, scheduling interviews, etc. </p>
<p>What finally made us replace her? She screamed at a customer.</p>
<p>This may never apply for OP but I have a distant relative who worked for a place that was being sold. The owners were cutting staff to cut costs before sale. They were looking for any reason to cut, it was bad. Relative needed notes that gave dates and activities to save herself.</p>
<p>This is actually pretty sad commentary on how you treat the rest of your employees…it was okay for her to be awful to them, but heaven forbid she be awful to a customer.</p>
Your boss isn’t going to change and fire her no matter what you do to prove that would be the best option. Forget it.
FAB isn’t changing either. Forget it.
The only thing you can change is you. Remember it.</p>
<p>Options:
Be miserable and live with it. Make sure the perks being either money or love of job are worth it while you’re deciding to stick here. Complaining and wishful thinking aren’t going to help the situation. It hasn’t changed in years. If you decide to stick–suck it up and quit complaining about your co-worker. Smile her to death. Kill her with kindness.
Look for another job. Now. I don’t care if it’s been 3 years or 30 at your job. It’s time for a change. You may be really surprised. Employers love loyalty and hard work. The release from the prison of working with toxic people is overwhelming–see you at the “best thing I’ve ever done” thread.</p>
<p>I agree with those suggesting you get out there and look for a new job. You don’t have to take one if it’s offered, so go ahead and test the waters. </p>
<p>Just remember, though, that you should under no circumstances tell prospective employers about FAB. (What the heck does that mean by the way? Am I the only one who hasn’t figured it out?). Employers want to hear about themselves, and how you would fit into their team.</p>
<p>^^^^
Too funny Hayden, I was thinking the same thing. I came up with F<em>**ing Arrogant B</em>*ch. But I am sure FAB would say it is short for FABULOUS!</p>
<p>LOL, Harvestmoon. I actually googled it in case it were an accepted “word”. All I got was either slang for fabulous, or the name of a girls’ rock band. Somehow, neither of those seemed to fit.</p>
<p>OMG! I just made FAB up. I didn’t know there was an Urban Dictionary, but I looked it up, and my meaning was #14: Fat A$s Bi**h. </p>
<p>Today, she came in and acted like nothing ever happened. We were really busy so I didn’t have to interact with her very much. I did wait her out at the end of the day. She finally left at 5:20. Because the day was so hectic, I actually needed to stay late to finish a few things.</p>
<p>We will see what tomorrow brings. The third person in our office was off Friday and Monday but she will be back tomorrow. FAB has recruited her heavily for her “team” and I’m sure they will be whispering a lot. The boss will be out of the office a good part of the day and FAB is at her best when boss is not there.</p>
<p>I am hesitant to change jobs because I fear there is a FAB everywhere. I don’t want to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire. Plus, I remember those times as a kid when I didn’t like my teacher and wanted my mom to get me put in a different class. My mom always refused to do it and told me there would be people every where I went that I wouldn’t necessarily like but I would have to learn to deal with. Mom was right.</p>
<p>And before anyone says I should just deal with FAB like my mom told me to, I have been. For more than six years. It just gets to you after a while.</p>
<p>Gouf, just a rose by any other name. These types existed long before urban Dictionary. Believe me, it’s a heck of a lot harder to work for one than to work alongside one. </p>
<p>I once worked for a guy who was vicious, with zero redeeming qualities. My office was next to his. One day I heard my boss talking to a colleague on my level. He was rude, nasty and as usual flying off the handle. It ended up with him in such a rage - over a fairly innocuous question- that he jumped to his feet, flung himself against the wall and rhythmically slammed his head against the wall. My co-worker ran out of the office, white as a sheet. I pulled her into my office so he couldn’t catch her. </p>
<p>When my dad died, our division manager was with me when I got the call, and walked me to my car. I flew home that night. I got a call from my boss the next day screaming at me for being so selfish that I left the office in the lurch, and demanding that I skip the funeral and fly back to go to work. </p>
<p>So no, I don’t think I escaped working with bad people just because I didn’t know what FAB meant!</p>
<p>I’d consider keeping one, but only for your own reference. If you do ever have a conversation with your boss, a likely response is going to be something like, “Do you have any examples?”, in which case you want to be prepared with specifics. You should be prepared to relate just one or two examples in a way that doesn’t sound middle-school/petty, and perhaps keeping this list will allow you to prepare for that question.</p>
<p>It reminds me of D’s high school years when she’d be driving me crazy…H would get home from work and say, “What? What happened?” and I’d forget the specifics, and when I tried to explain, it sounded so…childish. I’d wished I could have articulated better.</p>
<p>Once I had this co-worker who REALLY hated me for some reason (usually I get along with everyone). She had a printer in her cubicle that I was mapped to…whenever I went to pick up a document I had printed, she’d go on and on about how I was using up her paper, and I should replace any paper I used…WHENEVER I PRINTED SOMETHING. (not just when the tray was empty). She finally retired…I did a little dance that day.</p>
<p>music - I fire FAB’s, they usually make it less than 90 days when their behavior shows up. I try and counsel them and give them warnings. I found out I had one and it really divided my staff. She acted like the mean girl in the cafeteria and during a meeting sat in the back and snickered and was disruptive. I just tossed her out of the meeting. </p>
<p>The weird thing was everyone’s reaction to her. People tripped over themselves to be in her circle. I suppose it was way easier to be in than out. She and her posse really felt powerful until I walked in one day completely fed up and fired her. Her reaction? You are firing me? Me? Are you kidding me? I’m the problem? </p>
<p>It took me months to bring the office back to harmony. I ended up doing weekly lunches with team building games (I know people hate them but I did my best to make it interesting), I even did a hiring contest where groups of 3 helped in the hiring process, and I redid where everyone sat in the new office where we were moving to separate the posse. </p>
<p>And I had a big meeting with the posse where I basically set an ultimatum, take responsibility for the behavior, straighten up, or get out. And I told them I would stand up for the marginalized employees. They needed to assume I believed however they treated the other employees is how they’d treat the person who signed their checks and the customers. Unacceptable in a grown up world. </p>
<p>Today the environment is so nice and friendly and professional I hate that I have to hire a few new people and rock the boat.</p>
<p>Absolutely the worst thing about owning a business is dealing with employees. It’s so critical to have a good team and it’s the hardest thing to balance.</p>
<p>Moral of the story - a good environment doesn’t just happen, corporate culture is developed over years and it requires focus and attention. Your boss just isn’t doing that. It’s not the FAB, it’s the boss for allowing it.</p>
<p>Musicmom–your mom was wrong. FABs are not everywhere. It is quite worth looking for another job with a better work environment. It took me awhile to jump ship from one job to another but it was the best thing I ever did.</p>