<p>Would anyone be willing to share ideas on how to cultivate empathy in oneself?</p>
<p>Thank you very much.</p>
<p>I think the absolute BEST way to cultivate empathy is to get involved by volunteering in just about any organization where you walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. Volunteering takes you outside of yourself and opens your eyes to the plights of others.</p>
<p>Another way to cultivate empathy in oneself is to practice feeling empathy. Change your thought process. It will seem unnatural at first, but with repetition it may become second nature. 1955 has already stated the best way though.</p>
<p>Role-playing activities, studying or reading about famous empathetic people who can serve as role models (MLK, Mother Theresa, etc). For older individuals who are not naturally empathetic, I would not assume that volunteering will always work unless there is also a desire to change and to learn from the experience.</p>
<p>Widen your circle any way you can. It’s hard to not care about people you know.</p>
<p>Interesting question, ADad.</p>
<p>I have two Ds who are polar opposites when it comes to being empathetic, which has led me to think that it is an innate personality trait and not necessarily something that is taught in the home.</p>
<p>One D is our “Florence Nightingale,” and the other is cold and ruthless (but thrilling to be around). My attempts to “cultivate” empathy in the latter D have been unsuccessful, so I have told her that she should at least “act” as though she cares if she wants to be liked by others at all.</p>
<p>Here is a meditation that might well cultivate empathy: <a href=“Lost in samsara”>Lost in samsara;
<p>I’m not sure what I say will be correct or helpful or appropriate, so I’ll just say that I think Weenie’s advice is great. I think that’s probably the very best thing to do. </p>
<p>I am not a naturally sympathetic person, but I am empathetic. As absurd as it sounds, I think I developed empathy by watching sports on TV. I first noticed it when I was young when I felt happy for the player when a new guy on the opposing team made his first touchdown or tackle; felt upset or angry when someone on the other team got injured; felt ashamed when my team ran up the score unnecessarily against a struggling team; spent time rooting for the underdog; and so on. </p>
<p>Empathy is not feeling bad for someone; it’s understanding and identifying with their thoughts, feelings, and actions. One thing that I do naturally (which may or may not be a good thing) is try to understand and stick up for whoever appears to be the guilty party in a situation. This sounds extreme, but once you are able to understand the situations and actions of criminals–murderers and pedophiles and Nazis and others–I think you can empathize with anyone. It is not sympathy; it is understanding.</p>
<p>Acting in and directing plays have been important activities for my son in developing empathy and maturity. Having to tell many kids, some of them friends, that they didn’t get cast was probably the most painful thing he’s had to do. Travelling in other countries has opened his eyes to issues also. And we’ve always spent a lot of time with him talking about it, looking at things from other people’s pov. I also think great literature and films can foster empathy.</p>
<p>it is taught by example</p>
<p>surround yourself with kind people</p>
<p>Fascinating question-</p>
<p>Several great answers here, and I think the answer is in a combination of them, if in fact one truly can cultivate empathy (I personally think you can):</p>
<p>learn from a young age by example (although it’s never too late, I think). A home that fosters this way of thinking and behaving is much more likely to cultivate empathy in the offspring.</p>
<p>volunteer in a situation that allows you to closely and directly help those vulnerable and less fortunate than you (as opposed to , e.g., stuffing envelopes for a worthy cause- although I grant that this is also important).
Relationships foster empathy.
The volunteer opportunity close and dear to my heart is Hospice. Every local Hospice organization in this country can use volunteers, and believe me, every Hospice volunteer I know is a changed person from their experience.</p>
<p>My 15 yo s and his buddies set up a network to do the yardwork and various household chores for families with a member that is dying at home in a hospice program. These boys have made close friends with previous strangers, and to hear them all chat together at my house about their “hospice family” (some elderly, some young) experience is a joy. Some have seen “their patient” die. That can be a life changing experience.
Empathy truly abounds in these young men.</p>
<p>Maybe they had it in them to begin with, but at the very least they enhanced it with their volunteering, with people they have truly bonded with at the end of life.</p>
<p>I also think what you do is more important than what you feel.</p>
<p>To me, empathy is learned through experiences. It’s difficult to not understand how people are feeling when you’ve experienced a similar situation yourself. (This is also applied to people you care about as one naturally doesn’t want to see them suffer.) This idea is also applicable when you experience kindness and want to show that same kindness to others. All you need to do is picture youself (or those you care about) as the protagonist(s) in the situation at hand.</p>
<p>What caused you to ask this question? I’m curious, as I’d think most of us have a rather set quantity of empathy by a certain adult point, and don’t know that many go about seeking change in their level of empathy as the years pass.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for all of your replies!</p>
<p>greatlakesmom: I’ve been a volunteer tutor at a youth shelter for four years. As pointed out by 1955 and others, that experience has developed my empathy–and I’ve found that I want more. I want more because empathy can be so helpful to others; because it is satisfying to be a source of that help; because it is thrilling to progress in understanding someone; because I’ve been pained and remorseful when I’ve been insufficiently empathetic; because, at many of those times, people that I like have suffered or have missed an opportunity to benefit.</p>
<p>ADad~</p>
<p>You are, without a doubt, one of THE MOST empathetic people on this site, and you have been UNBELIEVABLY helpful to me and to many others. On behalf of all of us, I thank you.</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>Well, I’m impressed. Not all would go there, or choose to work on themselves and their relations with others in that way. </p>
<p>As I work in a hospital, I’m sort of in the empathy biz. Though not all in hospitals hold this as an important value, I find that having that radar sense of where someone is, whether social, economic, emotional or whatever is quite important. And fun, as it is in depth involvment with the essence of the human condition, and endlessly fascinating, even when difficult. </p>
<p>But I struggle with empathy in parenting. I know how my kids feel in various situations, and don’t want to empathize too much, as my role in certain situations is to uphold standards, raise the bar, rather than just understanding. I struggle with that balance point, as it is easier for me to empathize. Would think that would be an issue in a youth shelter. </p>
<p>In response to your above question, I remember my mother asking me at an early age to think of how someone would feel in various situations. Empathy became reflexive. Not that I always act on it in the best possible way…there is always room for improvement!</p>
<p>The empathy versus standards concern you raise most certainly is an issue where I tutor. However, it is not much of an issue for me personally there. Spending private time with an interested adult is such a rare and precious opportunity there that kids almost always behave well with me.</p>
<p>I agree that one has to limit the role of empathy in parenting. Yesterday, it was easy to understand the frustration of my kid who was searching through mountains of paper to find out what his math assignment was, but my official position was that he should consistently put into practice the extra help he has gotten for enhancing his organizational skills. I confess that, though I felt bad that he was upset, I didn’t feel bad at all about my official position!</p>
<p>Metta (lovingkindness) meditation can help you develop empathy.</p>
<p>Links to some guided meditations: <a href=“Yahoo | Mail, Weather, Search, Politics, News, Finance, Sports & Videos”>Yahoo | Mail, Weather, Search, Politics, News, Finance, Sports & Videos;
<p><a href=“http://www.buddhanet.net/metta.htm[/url]”>http://www.buddhanet.net/metta.htm</a></p>
<p>Empathy can be learned through role-playing. My d recently had an assignment to “Change the World”. Her focus was on people being more kind to those with disabilities. She made up “empathy kits” which included earplugs for experiencing deafness, a cane and a blindfold for those experiencing blindness. It was a real eye opener for many who “checked” out the kits to use for a day in school. They became aware of the little things that make a difference to handicapped poeple. Like not saying “over there” to a blind person, but giving actual directions or being more descriptive. And not shouting at a deaf person, but just facing them and enunciating better. It was an interesting experiment. If nothing else, it demonstrated to many kids how much a blind person has to know without visual cues (think about those classrooms with all their posters around the room with formulas, language rules, and such. The blind person can’t look up and be reminded of those things.).</p>