<p>I have a good friend who I’ve known since 1st grade who has turned into a huge spoiled brat. She used to be nice and sweet but now that she is going into 8th grade (I am going into 10th) she has wanted to become a “cool and popular” person. Her mom is the kind of person who wishes she were 16 again and will buy her daughter anything, then complain to my mom (her best friend) that they are in financial trouble. Our birthdays are in the same month, July. For my birthday I got a laptop for high school work, while she got an iphone, 2 pairs of coach shoes, 2 juicy bags, a laptop case, money, and more…only from her parents.</p>
<p>Any time I talk to her she talks about what she got recently then what she wants and it’s always more and more. It makes me feel bad for her and how she thinks things will make her popular. She always has to have the most expensive and cool things to impress people, but they don’t. I don’t know what to do because she is driving me insane with all of her spoiled talk. What should I do? I’ve talked to her before but it ended badly. She got mad at me and said what I said was not true. We both got over the arguement but it is just very bad now.</p>
<p>Try to put aside your differences and stay friends. Just like try to avoid the topic of spoiledness and gifts. If you can’t stand being with her anymore, maybe give it a rest for an indefinite amount of time (a day, a week, a month, forever). Decide which is more important; your friendship or your comfort.</p>
<p>To be honest, the only thing I can think of is to keep talking to her. Even if she gets mad, she will realize later on that you were right. My other suggestion may sound harsh, but I think it may work. Take her to do some volunteer service. I live in a wealthy neighborhood with a multitude of people like her. A few years ago, my class and I went to a neighborhood in Oakland and volunteered at an elementary school there. This was a school that was located in one of the worst parts of Oakland and had all of these kids who were living in housing developments and in need of lunch programs. In the end, being placed in that position made a lot of people realize how fortunate we really are. I’m not saying she is going to completely change by doing some volunteer service, whether that be at a shelter etc, but it should make her change her perspective. If all else fails, realize she is in middle school, and middle school is a time when people undergo different phases. She is probably just going through one of them, so I wouldn’t worry about it too much:></p>
<p>If you want to help her andget some ECs for your future transcript why don’t you suggest volunteering at a food bank or womens shelter together. She may learn that she is blessed to have what she already has-2 parents and a good friend.</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice everyone! It’s hard because I try to change the subject to other things but she always brings it back to stuff she has or wants. Whenever I try and hang out with her she only wants to shop. She puts up videos on youtube that shows what she got everytime she shops and how much each thing costs. </p>
<p>She would not do volunteer work (I’ve asked her before)</p>
<p>Our friendship consists of shopping and talking about stuff she wants, and occasionally other stuff.</p>
<p>I still stand by what I said as far as her being in middle school. However, do you think she would be willing to watch a movie? Have her watch the Devil’s Arithmetic. It’s the perfect example of a teenage girl becoming humble. It has Kirsten Dunst in it. In case you haven’t seen it:</p>
<p>“This is another telling of the holocaust, but this time from the perspective of a modern teenage girl who only grudgingly accepts the Jewish traditions, but when she is asked to “open the front door” as part of the Seder feast finds herself, not unlike Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, to have entered the 1940’s and has stepped into the life of a prisoner in one of the German death camps where she experiences all of its horrors firsthand.”
(Review by O.G.) She ends up finding her grandmother there and sacrificing herself for her. She is then returned to the modern world with a new perspective as she walks towards the gas chamber. Hopefully this helps!:></p>
<p>Since she doesn’t go to the same school as you, it shouldn’t be that much of a problem. Let your relationship cool down a little. She’ll get better once she matures.</p>
<p>Almost everyone goes through this materialistic “I want to be popular” phase. I was sort of obsessed with brands in 7th grade (beginning of middle school). But once I hit high school I started wearing just a t-shirt and jean shorts. Once you become comfortable with your own identity, you start not caring about what others think. Things will get better :]</p>
<p>That seems like a good movie! Especially since she is Jewish! Thank you…I will try and rent it one time.</p>
<p>She is now telling me how she wants a mac pro and imac this year.</p>
<p>Here is her text to her dad asking for a mac:
Hey dad! I love you, but we both know i hate karate! but since i love you so much i am willing to put up with karate for how ever long it take for me to get it. though you do know…my black belt gift was a cell phone. so for my second degree gift i was wondering if i could get an imac. then just some other stuff. then so you have a lot to consider here…but think to urself…is it really worth it??? I think YES!</p>
<p>It just is upsetting to see a friend of mine act this way.</p>
<p>^Geez. Someone needs to dump a cold bucket of water on her. That’s almost MTV status.</p>
<p>EDIT: Hey, you know what I just realized? I’m almost in the same situation as you. One of my really really close friends is going into 8th grade as well (I’m going into 10th) and she’s one of those people who mature later Sometimes I want to just pull her aside and give her some perspective, but people really need to figure these things out for themselves. For now I’m just waiting it out.</p>
<p>“Almost everyone goes through this materialistic “I want to be popular” phase.”</p>
<p>That’s true but her phase has been years already! It is just hard to handle and hurtful to watch.</p>
<p>"^Geez. Someone needs to dump a cold bucket of water on her. That’s almost MTV status. "</p>
<p>Hahahha yes it is! …and that was only one little part! If you heard the whole conversation it would’ve driven you insane. She just got a new laptop and is complaining about wanting a laptop and desktop mac this year and how she won’t save up any of her money to buy it, she will bug her parents to. Also just today was her birthday and she already got a ton of things (read first post)</p>
<p>Errr! I lost my well thought out response for you ReachDreams; but here is the gist. </p>
<p>Make yourself scarce when your spoiled friend starts up with her greedy groaning. When she calls, talk with her until she starts sounding whiney…then cut her short and get off the line. Don’t respond to texts that have to do with her shopping etc. DO NOT go shopping with her. Go bowling, movies, skating, whatever…but stay away from the mall and/or her fav stores. If she asks why you don’t want to go shopping, tell her you find it shallow and immature (you have the BIG advantage on the maturity angle being in HS already). Tell her bluntly that her ‘me, me, me’ attitude is boring and you’d rather hang with kids your age who are not so obsessed with material wealth.</p>
<p>You will probably naturally fall away from her due to your age/grade difference, but if you want to try to keep the friendship you might find the suggestions above helpful Your freind’s parents are obviously idiotic…they will have a nightmare on their hands for years ahead, but you cannot do anything to remedy the adults in the situation. Good luck.</p>
<p>People have different interests and different ways of viewing the world. There are plenty of materialistic people, people who will be materialistic for forever. </p>
<p>I would try talking to her and telling her how you feel. Is this materialism something she is willing to overcome for your friendship?</p>
<p>Hmmmm, tough situation. I used to go to school with a bunch of girls like her, but those people honestly don’t change that much. I consider myself fairly modest (I mean I buy nice things that will last me a long time, and aren’t too shallow :D), but working at a free clinic the entire summer change me imo. I saw how blessed I was to have what I had, and I barely ask for presents these days. Although, presently I want my license! If she won’t consider a life-altering experience through volunteering, my money is on she won’t change.</p>
<p>Anyway…I got away from those people, and it felt really good to be honest. I don’t have to listen (well, from a guy’s perspective), “bleh bleh bleh, I like the your new Armani dress. That new Loius Vuitton bag is awesome. OMG I love it, I totally need it. So, I really want a Range Rover cuz they’re like really awesome to drive. Don’t get near my Rock and Republic jeans (or somthing lik that). Blah blah blah” :eek:</p>
<p>I couldn’t listen to that, and I live in NC of all places! I would (hate to tell you this) cut her short, be a bit unfriendly to her to let the relationship die down a bit because it is affecting you. I mean once she maybe matures, then hang with her some more. If not, make her an acquiantance, and not a friend.</p>
<p>Those moms who wish they were still 16 are hilarious. My mom is one. She always talks about how she was “the most popular girl in school”, pretty gives me anything I ask for (I try not to ask for too much though), and tries to give me a bunch of stuff I don’t want in the hopes that I will be the most “fashionable”, “cool”, and “popular” person in school like she says she was.</p>
<p>“I mean, you live in NoVA. Is any of this a surprise to you?”</p>
<p>haha
I actually live in an area where this is not very common, except for the few…wanna be people. </p>
<p>“Those moms who wish they were still 16 are hilarious.”</p>
<p>Sometimes they are, but for my friend, she is like poison in a way. She pushes her daughter to have the goal of going to prom every year with a senior. She supports her 13 year old daughter only wearing M.A.C makeup, and paying for a lot of it.</p>
<p>One time when I was with the girl and her mom they spent 2 hours at the MAC counter and they spent a ton and then the mom refused to buy a roll of toilet paper for a homeless lady and her 2 girls because her family is “hurting financially too”.</p>
Sometimes I want to just pull her aside and give her some perspective, but people really need to figure these things out for themselves. For now I’m just waiting it out.</p>