Okay, so I just transferred during the summer to the University of Arkansas in Fayetteville, Arkansas. I am a sophomore. I am also African American and homosexual. Now, like most transfer students going to a new school, I felt out of place and like I was in a whole new world. I began to make friends and meet new people by joining organizations and other things. Arkansas somehow has a reputation of being a country and conservative state. University of Arkansas is in the Northwest part of the state and is said to be the “most liberal and accepting” part of the state. Now, I still expected to be picked on and talked about because it’s everywhere in the world. I’m openly gay, but most people say they wouldn’t know if I didn’t say it. My issue is that the adversity and discrimination I’m getting is coming from the gay community itself. I am being told that I’m unattractive (which isn’t a big deal, but wait for it) because of the fact that I’m black. I am also being told that I’m just plain ugly. Now, if it was just any old straight person, it wouldn’t matter, but the fact that this is coming from gay people, who should understand how it feels to be discriminate against and talked about, is what hurts me the most. I already feel out of place here but that makes it even worse. Do any of you have any advice on how I can get through this because I’ve had a couple panic attacks and am about ready to quit because of this.
Honestly the thought of three years of dealing with racist comments would make me consider quitting too. Is there a diversity center or other support available to you? Most universities have counseling centers. A counselor might help you learn what to do about the panic attacks or be a person to help you think through your options of leaving versus staying.
It’s old advice and probably not helpful. But, just ignore it and go on with your life. Life is too short to worry about haters. Good luck.
You are brave, openly gay minority in a conservative state. I am sorry that you are experiencing discrimination and from what you describe is coming from a group that should be supportive of your sexual orientation. I agree with both posters, seek diversity and counseling support, but also figure out how you can develop a proud and thick skin to push past the discrimination. Figuring out how to be resilient in this situation will help you deal with your current and future similar situations.
Keep in mind why you are there and don’t let petty people put you off your goals. Are you from Arkansas? Maybe it is time to get out, but do not just drop out. Go to school and let their pettiness be fuel to move you to your next level. If you need a more diverse campus or need to meet more people off campus do that. Go to the counseling center or some place off campus to get support for your peace of mind. But your goal is to get your degree and leave them behind.
Is there an LBTQ club? If so, talk to them about what you are experiencing.