We are visiting my sister in NY, last night my niece who attends a small LAC few hours away from home, called her mom and cried over how her roommate never shuts up. It’s a small school and they live together and are on the same team as well so no way to avoid her. She is there in the room, in classes, in dinning hall, in gym, at parties, guess you got the picture. My niece is tired of this attention whoring and listening to same stories again and again in different settings. What advice would you give to deal with this situation?
If it were my child I’d tell her that she is 18+ years old and should deal with this on her own by talking to this person like an adult, not by crying to mommy. Good grief!
Earbuds. She should just have them with her and say: “I’m going to listen to my podcast/music now.”
Calling the other girl an attention whore is not very mature either. Sorry but the niece sounds pretty spoiled calling her mom for such a minor inconvenience.
Dealing with attention whores is truly a life skill. They never go away!
Agree with earbuds in room. And tell your niece be polite, but don’t give any indication she is interested or sympathetic. Usually people desperate for attention keep looking for a new audience.
Also, especially in a small school, I would advise your niece not to complain too much to other students – she could easily end up the “bad guy”
If I have to guess, this probably doesn’t have as much to do with the roommate being an attention grabber as the niece may be stressed at the new school. The roommate could also be nervous in the environment and talking more. I think this is a case where the mom should just listen and nod, “That must be tough (or frustrating). Umhmm, umhmm. Love you. Talk to you soon.”
So often my kids have called to complain about their roommate, best friend, boyfriend (crying too), then forgot about it next time I talked to them.
Your niece should be posting this herself.
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
To be clear on concept, when we say “asking for a friend” posts are not allowed, we mean cases where it infringes upon privacy and where, almost invariably, financial considerations to which the the friend is not privy are involved.
So “help my friend choose a college” is not allowed because it requires knowledge of the friend’s finances, which aside from the privacy issue, almost always results in a game of telephone.
This post is more of a “what would you do” post, which is allowed. Although yes, the niece would probably benefit more from asking for herself. 
I see nothing wrong with a child calling her mother from school. I know my daughter just gets frustrated sometimes and needs to vent to me. If I happened to mention it to my sister, who would be asking how my daughter was doing, I’m sure I’d tell the story. Being a support and helping them deal with things themselves is a step in the right direction. I guess I just share more with my daughter than some of you do. It’s day to day life and adjusting to college.
I would probably tell her to say something to the roommate that she can’t handle all the talking and make sure she doesn’t sit with her for meals and classes and that she makes friends out of the circle of this roommate. I’d hate to have to wear earbuds just to get peace and quiet, so I’d just not engage in conversation all the time.
Seems to me that having to wear earbuds at times is just part of living with other people.
I lived in s quad my freshman year of college. I certainly put on my Walkman headphones at times just for that reason.
I still call my mom to complain about things, ask her advice. My kid calls me to ask how she should handle things. I hope it never stops, you are never too old to ask other people how to handle a situation.
No advice though, has to be hard to be in a small dorm room, sympathy to your niece.
Students only have to sleep in their dorm rooms. They don’t have to spend much other time there. And often it’s better to study elsewhere because a lot of noisy socializing goes on in the dorm.
The OP’s niece may not be able to avoid her roommate at practice or in classes, but she doesn’t have to spend time with her in the dorm. She can go to a dorm lounge or study room – or to the campus library – to study or just spend time online in peace. And she may want to make an effort to make social plans with other students that don’t include her roommate, just to break the pattern of the two of them spending too much time together.
I don’t see anything wrong with a student calling a parent to discuss this or any other problem. It’s part venting and part research. So why not? I do see plenty wrong with discouraging a student from asking a parent for advice – it could create an atmosphere where the student becomes reluctant to ask the parent for advice about truly serious problems.
Good advice, @marian. I’m in the camp that it’s ok to call parents. Everyone needs a safety net, a soft place to land…even me! My one son just texted and asked to call me as he’s really stressed right now. I don’t mind. I don’t baby him, and sometimes he doesn’t like what I’m going to tell him ( like when I talk to him today), But I’m glad he feels free to call.
I really don’t think OP’s daughter is going to silence the roommate. She’s going to have to just control how much time she herself spends around her.
It sounds like being married. 
But she can get out of living with her at the end of this year. It sounds like it might cause a team rift to do it at winter break, which would normally be my suggestion. Earbuds. Find other places to hang out when not sleeping.
I asked D1 one time why she wasn’t talking to her friends about her BF issues. She said, “You have to listen and you wouldn’t tell other people about it.”
In this case, if the niece complained to people on campus, it may get back to the roommate.
I worked with a non-stop talker a long time ago. You could literally leave the room, come back in later and she would still be talking. I could tune her out pretty easily but it drove my other co-worker nuts.
No matter how small the school, there are other people to hang around with other than the roomie. I also agree to just use the room for sleeping. Sucks but plenty of students have roommate problems that are even worse.
These boards are where I learned the phrase “Save the drama for mama”. DS is a loner kind of guy so I get the calls when he’s upset and wants to vent. Lucky me. I will say that there have been a couple of non-upset questions where he asked me to ask the CC community! (Mainly involving relocation questions.)
I’m with a group where there are a couple of non-stop talkers; nice women but soooo boring. My MIL was like that - stream of consciousness talker - straight from thought to speech with no stops or detours. Not a lot you can do except try to out talk them.
Attention whore does seem like a mean way to look at the problem. Some people talk a lot - sometimes it’s nerves, sometimes it’s just they feel the urge to fill any kind of silence. Your daughter is not forced to spend all her time with this young woman. She needs to learn to speak up for herself. “Sorry, I can’t talk right now, I’ve got to study!” There’s always the library.
To be fair, i’m using this term, kid or her mother didn’t use it. She was just overwhelmed with some family issues so probably more sensitive.
I’m surprised some posters are against teens reaching out to their parents to discus their problems. Just because a kid turned 18, doesn’t mean he can’t seek parental counsel. I guess there should be a taboo against grown ups seeking medical advice for mental health as well, just be an adult and put up or shut up.