<p>I know you were just venting, but grandparents do not owe anyone an expensive college education. It is not selfish or unreasonable for grandparents to hold onto their resources for any reason they choose, but particularly since they may have medical and other expenses in the future that could quickly drain their resources. Do you have any idea how expensive in home care can be for someone not sick enough to be eligible for nursing home care? Do you have any idea how much it costs for assisted living? Do you have any sense how expensive medications can be for seniors, particularly those caught in the “donut hole”? I don’t see a thing wrong with grandparents keeping their money.</p>
<p>Perhaps the greatest gift that parents and grandparents can give to their children and grandchildren is to avoid becoming a financial drain on the rest of the family.</p>
<p>Funny that Endicott and Roshke give examples that I would give to separate defining gift and investment, yet we come up with different results. So that’s what makes the world go 'round, we don’t all think alike.
I strongly agree we can invest in a friendship. I might give a friend a lift, go places together, loan a few bucks, or be there to listen if he’s got problems(to give a few examples) but I do this because we are friends and there is a reasonable expectation of mutual benefit if I ever need it, maybe he’ll do the same for me if I need it- he’s my friend too. I don’t give those things to a total stranger because I want to help humanity but to a guy who is my friend. So there is an expectation of a return to me as a friend- I expect that he’ll treat me well as I do him. If I donate to my grandson’s education there is no expectation that I will benefit from his education. I don’t get a better job. I don’t make more money. No doubt I’d feel great pleasure that I assisted him to attend college, and I have contributed to the liklihood of his future success, but that doesn’t benefit me- it benefits him. The joy of the gift is in the giving as the expression goes. Receiving only pleasure from having chipped in money is a wonderful feeling. Generous. Noble. Gracious. Nice to know you helped a family member. Those are good things but they describe a gift not an investment.
I feel you’ve got to expect more in return for your money than merely the pleasure of knowing you gave something to someone to call it an investment- otherwise, many of us would exchange Christmas investments. Who among us doesn’t call it Christmas gifts? really, how many of us have ever walked into a toy store and told the clerk we wanted to buy a bicycle for grandson as an investment? Why? We give a Christmas gift to someone because we value them and want to give of our time, or effort, or money etc. It gives us pleasure to give something to them.</p>
<p>in·vest [in-vest] Show IPA
–verb (used with object)
1.
to put (money) to use, by purchase or expenditure, in something offering potential profitable returns, as interest, income, or appreciation in value.
2.
to use (money), as in accumulating something: to invest large sums in books. 3.
to use, give, or devote (time, talent, etc.), as for a purpose or to achieve something: He invested a lot of time in helping developmentally disabled (sic - changed politically incorrect adjective) children .</p>
<p>The example given in #3 could just as well have said " He invested a lot of his money in order to help disabled children" or “He invested a lot of his money in helping his grandchild.” You are not the direct beneficiary of the help, but it is your investment nevertheless. If you consider your child or your grandchild’s success or development to BE your goal or purpose , then #3 makes perfect sense. You do not have to get all the material benefits of the investment yourself.</p>
<p>As for the gift analogy- something can be a gift AND an investment “I invested in an SAT class for DD because I hoped it would benefit her” or " I invested in the Rosetta Stone tapes for DS since he is going abroad next year and I wanted to help him do well in the classes." And yes, you could even say “I invested in an advanced Lego set for my nephew” if your goal is to see <em>him</em> improve at block building. </p>
<p>From Merriam Webster online:</p>
<p>Main Entry: 2invest
Function: verb
Etymology: Italian investire to clothe, invest money, from Latin, to clothe
Date: 1613
transitive verb
1 : to commit (money) in order to earn a financial return
**2 : to make use of for future benefits or advantages **
3 : to involve or engage especially emotionally <were deeply=“” invested=“” in=“” their=“” children’s=“” lives=“”></were></p>
<p>Again, the future benefits do not have to be all yours or only pertaining to you.</p>
<p>If Roske celebrates Christmas, it must be a joyous time on Dec 25. The kids opening their Christmas investments and then on the 26th, turning in the investment receipts to their accountant to have him figure them in with his accounting to the IRS. Has IRS ever disputed that legos are an investment?
In our home, we give gifts.
But as they say- “different strokes…”</p>