<p>I think it was “teach them to fish” rather than “give them a fish…”</p>
<p>Not that I interpret that as - never give away charity, but I see it’s meaning as help others to learn and make better choices so they can support themselves rather than merely supporting them each day without helping them to make better choices. Just me.</p>
<p>My belief on helping college education however, is not based on scripture.</p>
<p>Teach them to fish, is a modern parable.</p>
<p>Loaves and fishes is from the gospel–pure giving.</p>
<p>Teaching your child to fish…isn’t that why we send them to college. That college needs to be the right place for every kid… be it a CC, instate, private or top 20.</p>
<p>The “teach them to fish” parable was from Rabbi Hillel, I believe.</p>
<p>
Nope. The tithe is an Old Testament concept. Check out what Jesus said to the “rich young ruler.”</p>
<p>i believe the real meaning of the words to the rich young ruler was that one is forsake what keeps one from following Him.</p>
<p>but we are now so far off topic just because i suggested that we shouldn’t sit around waiting for “rich” people to bail everyone out.</p>
<p>back to the original topic…</p>
<p>Really, the discrepancy may be awkward to handle, but the OP is in a very happy situation to have a grandparent offer so generously to pay for a large part of the tuition bill. It’s a very rare thing!</p>
<p>I read this thread chuckling. My generous former in-laws, who are very wealthy, made yearly contributions to a savings account for DS’s education throughout his childhood, a wonderful gift. Their son, my ex-, has now successfully managed to wriggle out of any child support obligation to son, arguing the “he” already saved for years for DS’s education and should not be required to pay more.</p>
<p>“Teach a man to fish” is Chinese, isn’t it?</p>
<p>I do not know the origin, nor the date it came from. It is a parable though that I think has great merit referring to gifts, and in a broader sense government entitlements. That is why I brought it up.</p>
<p>Money put toward someone else’s education is not an investment. An investment is money we spend on a product or service that we expect to recoup greater money in return when we sell that product or service. Such as buying stock in XYZ company, hoping to sell that stock for more at some time in the future. Spending for someone else’s education does not qualify. It is a gift so someone else can prosper from our money. What that person spends toward his/her own education is his/her investment.</p>
<p>Back to the original question: Just maybe the other grandparents won’t be at all bothered. My H’s parents made us a significant gift toward the down payment on our first home; something my parents were in no position to do. My parents were thrilled for us. </p>
<p>Sometimes things aren’t the problems we think they are.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s just a question of the other grandmother being bothered by the gift itself. Maybe (hopefully) she <em>would</em> be happy for her grandchild if she happened to learn about the gift in some other way. However, it’s not just the idea of the gift or the amount, as much as it is the insensitivity of the behavior, IMO. It’s very easy to give a gift of this kind in private. </p>
<p>On the other extreme, I also think it’s inappropriate to dictate that a grandparent needs to limit a graduation (or any other) gift to tangible items at an “appropriate” price point. What if one grandparent wanted to give an expensive gift like a laptop or piece of jewelry and the other did not? What if the grandparent already gave a large gift and doesn’t feel it’s necessary to bring a second, smaller one ? Bottom line - a gift is supposed to be voluntary. Same solution applies here - simply don’t open gifts publicly. We never did, even at the kids’ birthday parties when they were little.</p>
<p>“Money put toward someone else’s education is not an investment.”</p>
<p>I strongly disagree. Investing in the education of the next generation may be the best investment we can make for the future of our nation.</p>
<p>Just my two cents.</p>
<p>I’d like to go back to college, Skyhook. Shall I pm you my mailing address and college so you can send me a check, so I can help you make “the best investment we can make for the future of our nation.” ? Gosh, that sounds so noble! I urge you to make a big investment in the future of our nation. I am willing to accept as big of an investment as you are willing to make- for the “future of our nation”!
I want to help you to make the “best investment” you can, and glad to hear you feel so “strongly” that it is not a gift, but is “the best investment we can make for the future of our nation.” I’ll be thrilled to announce on cc how you backed up your statement as soon as I receive your dough. You’ll prove you were right, not me, about the difference of an investment/gift.</p>
<p>Or put another way, if you choose to donate to a son, or daughter, or grandson(for example), for their college, but not to me, then it is clear your donation is a gift to a loved one- and not an investment in our nation’s future.</p>
<p>One can also “invest” in a project or a purpose - the word is not limited to gain in the financial or economic sense.</p>
<p>Skyhook - I wish the Governor of NJ agreed with you regarding investing in the education of the next generation. What he’s doing to our school systems is bordering on slaughter. </p>
<p>As for monetary gifts from grandparents, my in-laws are well off and it never occurred to me to expect contributions for my kids’ college tuition or expenses (son just accepted to Princeton 2014). We’re having them over for the high school grad party on June 26 along with some close friends and my 82 year old Mom who will lovingly slip a $100 check in an envelope for our son. I couldn’t care less what my inlaws stick in the card, I know by now how much they love and care for our kids by how they’ve treated them throughout their lives. Took them cross country a few years back to Mt. Rushmore, ball parks, Yellowstone, etc. Priceless.</p>
<p>"An asset or item that is purchased with the hope that it will generate income or appreciate in the future. In an economic sense, an investment is the purchase of goods that are not consumed today but are used in the future to create wealth. In finance, an investment is a monetary asset purchased with the idea that the asset will provide income in the future or appreciate and be sold at a higher price. </p>
<p>Investopedia Commentary</p>
<p>The building of a factory used to produce goods and the investment one makes by going to college or university are both examples of investments in the economic sense. </p>
<p>In the financial sense investments include the purchase of bonds, stocks or real estate property. "</p>
<p>This online definition helps me to better explain what I see as the difference. Clearly, if one pays for one’s own college, then he has invested in his future, I’d add that his attending college is an investment(his time) too.
We sometimes use the expression that we have invested time, or our experience into a project. If we somehow hope to profit in cash, acheivement, or some other way from that time, then ok. If we do not, then we have misused the word invest and perhaps we should have said “spent” or “donated” our time.</p>
<p>paying3tuitions wrote:</p>
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<p>Thank you for saying this. I’ve taught this to my kids as well, but the prevailing attitude of our society is that guests are there just to pay for the party and to pay for the future needs of the guest(s) of honor. It goes beyond graduation, weddings being a prime, and ugly, example.</p>
<p>I don’t want to hijack this thread; I’ll just say it’s refreshing to find people who still believe (and teach their children) that humble pie is a good dish, which will serve them well over a lifetime.</p>
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<p>One can also invest time or money in return for the non financial, intangible, yet priceless result to any grandparent - the future success of one’s grandchild. Sorry, but I see it as a perfectly appropriate use of the word.</p>
<p>I agree with Roshke. You can invest in a lifelong relationship as well. When you’re on your deathbed, you aren’t going to necessarily want your legacy to be the fact that you bought a factory. Most people want to invest energy in their friendships and their flesh and blood. Let’s face it, parenting is in many ways a one way street–you “invest” in your children’s well-being, education and future, and they’re going to carry on that future without you. But almost every living creature feels the drive to make that investment–to the exclusion of almost everything else, except (and not always) personal survival.</p>