Just say…“thank you for this information. I will get back to you IF I decide to contribute”. Make it clear…you will,get back to her…you don’t want her soliciting you again.
“No” is a complete sentence. I would add a thank you onto it. As in, “No, thank you.” And that’s it. Don’t get drawn into a conversation, it’s not called for.
As for being told how much to contribute in the future, that also is unacceptable. If solicitations are going to be made, then it should be made very clear that it is up to each individual to decide the amount they are comfortable with, including none.
My stock no answer is “sorry, it just doesn’t work for me.” You do not have to give any explanation. Less is best. I also detest being asked to fund someone’s trip. Pay for it yourself or stay home.
I would give 20.00 dollars and say money is tight wish i could give more. it is a co worker…sometimes you eat your principles and just avoid conflict. if they say 20.00 is not enough than i would say that is all i have to give, sorry I can not help you out more. my office has simmering feuds over super petty stuff that never seem to go away. I steer clear. I have gotten good at that.
it maybe wrong to pay for a person’s trip to stay in fancy hotels and a stop in paris but, I always try to focus on winning the war not a battle.
I would NOT give $20. Sorry…but in an office with a lot of people…that could add up very quickly if lots of people ask.
Just say “thank you for telling me about this. I don’t wish to contribute”.
End of discussion.
thumpert1—10 years ago I would be blunt…now i just play smooth.
This reminds me of the time a coworker asked me to pledge an amount for each something (lap run? her kid did. I said I didn’t feel comfortable pledging an unknown but here is $5. Coworker bad mouthed me that I refused pledge per whatever it was. Well it ended up I donated the most at flat $5, the kid fizzled and the others gave like a dollar each.
I like the sorry and move on answer.
I wouldn’t give anything, but that’s just me. If you give, you will be asked again AND again! This woman already has a history of asking repeatedly and even volunteering donations on behalf of others. DON’T ENGAGE! If there is a HR department, I’d quietly inquire about any solicitation policy and ask that it be publicized because generally there are policies since the workplace environment IS affected.
H’s office had a policy–if you sold anything, you had to make a complete meal for EVERYONE if the office. That really cut down on folks selling anything in the office and they had some nice meals compliments of folks who needed to sell chicken or whatever for their kids or charities. H never sold anything at his office and in his 45 years only donated for retirements, if he new the person retiring. Sometimes they’d all chip in maybe $5 or $10 for a baby gift, but not more than that.
“folks who needed to sell chicken” haha. That’s a new one by me.
Regarding the junket mission trips, by all means, be wary. But let me also offer that not all religiously sponsored trips are about proselytizing or junkets. I was on a committee in our church were we developed a program that sent 15 teens plus 4 adults to simply visit sister churches in India (which we also helped support financially) and to serve those congregations and to help man their community service projects for 2 weeks. There were some half days for sightseeing a few times but otherwise, it was work work work with the poorest and least of the society. No one brought a bikini.
The participants were responsible to raise 50% of their own costs and had to apply and be interviewed. It was a good antidote to the luxury and materialism that’s so second nature to us in the USA. Several of the women had ordered hand made saris. At the pick up, one young lady gave the seamstress the equivalent of US$1.50 as a tip. The seamstress broke down in tears and prostrated herself before the young lady, grasping her feet in overwhelming gratitude. I daresay it was a life-altering moment for the American teen.
In HI, it is fairly common to sell cooked chicken or chili or cookies for fundraisers. Personally, I dislike fundraisers so generally just donate instead of selling things to people who are just being nice. I dislike being asked to buy from others and prefer to buy my chicken hot at Costco for less than they sell 1/2 a chicken at these “fundraisers.” It seems that the company that organizes the fundraisers makes the most money out of these ventures. Even for scouts, we generally prefer to just donate to the kids trying to makes sales instead of buying inflated-priced items we really don’t want in our home.
I rarely had anyone selling anything in any of my workplaces and H’s office had that policy that was a strong disincentive for soliciting, so we rarely death with the issue. We prefer to choose our charities carefully–ones we like and trust the administration and what they’re doing. We like public radio, scouts, local theater, my nonprofit, and a few others.
Tell the co-worker good luck, but you have your own charities to support. Firm no, without excuses.
There is a name for this activity. Poverty tourism. There are plenty of articles around about it. I am hit every month at my school for a different cause. This is something brought by the principal that I have issues with, so of course I have problems with it. I have “I’m sorry, I can’t help you with that” down to an automatic response. No explanations are needed and no one should be forced into something they don’t want to support. We are frequently allowed to wear jeans for a week if we give to the cause. This creates a social stigma of sorts because people know I am not supporting the cause. A few have asked why I didn’t donate. “I’m sorry, I can’t help you with that.”
Years ago I attended a lecture on approaches to charitable giving, and the take away was to choose your priorities and stick with them over time. You will be supporting the organizations and general causes you really care about, keeps you focused, and as the years pass, I have appreciated the out it gives with the organizations I don’t care about who come calling, sometimes aggressively.
At one point I went on a totally secular trip to build a house in a Guatemalan village. Part of the mandate for participation was to raise half the money to contribute to the build. So I had a dinner for people in my community, and asked them to given what they liked. It was a good dinner, a lot of fun, and some folks were exceptionally generous, so worked out well all around. The trip was a great time, etc, and did some good for a very poor family.
On return, some one mentioned a “mission trip”. I stated that I am not formally religious, and this was NOT a mission trip. I’m very much opposed to proselytizing. But the questioner stated that mission trip does not imply religion.
Above, some seem to have the impression that mission does imply religion. Opinions? Now I’m confused all over again.
@“great lakes mom” In my opinion/definition, mission trip does imply a religious aspect/backing. Without it, I’d call it a “service trip”.
That sounds right to me. Service implies fixing houses and digging wells. Mission implies spreading the word.
I would say " No…thank you." Or another I have used is-- There are so many worthy causes asking for donations. I have limited funds. So I priortize and give to only the ones that are most important to me. Good luck.
I like massmomm’s delineation of casual vs formal no and I agree a casual no is best. Delivered in the same flat tonality as the answer to whether next Monday is the 3rd or 4th, or whether they are predicting rain or sun for tomorrow. Matter of fact. No elaborations or principles needed.
On mission vs service trips: Many at my place of employment go on medical mission trips, the purpose (Mission!) may be to vaccinate or fix cleft palates or provide eyeglasses. No religion; the mission is the medicine.
“I’m sorry, but my charity budget is already spoken for.”
Pleasant but firm. If they follow up with questions, they’re in the wrong. Just keep repeating.