<p>My (college) freshman S is similar–doesn’t like to decide/choose. The only thing he has no problem choosing is what to eat from a menu! Everything else, he is extremely passive, phlegmatic, (also high-functioning autistic/verbal communication problems). I have over the years tried to engage him in discussions of “reasonable alternatives,” and their “positives/negatives” to get him to “take ownership” of important decisions like where to go to college, what to major in, etc. but he pretty much just agrees with anything that seems reasonable and has no preference. He doesn’t take initiative or really WANT to do anything, but he will contentedly do what is suggested/seems to make sense. Didn’t want to drive, either–didn’t get his license until he was nearly 19 (he walked to school.) Now that he is in college (about 8 hours away) and I am not a part of his daily life, he is slowly being forced to make decisions on his own. Separation is not an issue for either of us–we are both fine with the distance. Occasionally he calls and asks for help with something, but not as much as I would’ve thought, given his history. Distance doesn’t mean what it used to. You could be on the other side of the world and call/text/skype several times a day.
I have a 24 yo son who lives thousands of miles away, and he still asks for my advice–but never takes it! (He just likes to discuss things, I guess ;)) Our 22yo D never even tells us what she is up to–very independent personality. (I also have 4 younger kids–freshman son is not the baby/only/only son etc./no special attachment.) Point is, they’re all different.</p>
<p>IMO, it is fine for your daughter to go to USC for two very good reasons-- that it is the best school she got into and the best financial value for you. Don’t worry about how close or far it is.
Once she is out of the house and you aren’t involved in everyday decisions, she will grow up. I think some kids are just more passive/agreeable–it is their personality. Have you noticed a lot of couples where one partner is very decisive/has strong preferences and the other is cautious/content to go along? Funny how people match up this way. You might have this dynamic going with your D. Maybe she sees that you are decisive and she has given you the “job” of making decisions for her–because she trusts you and she just doesn’t care that much? or she feels overwhelmed by too many choices? Or maybe she is afraid of making the wrong decision; she wants to please you, so she knows you’ll be happiest with your own choice?–and if you’re happy, she’s happy?
I don’t see much of a “problem” here that a little time/age/experience won’t take care of.</p>