<p>*** FYI, I started this post hours ago but had to leave on an emergency. I returned and saw I never posted this. So I’ll do it now. I have no idea how the conversation may have changed, but here goes …</p>
<p>Village, this is what makes me think the parent could benefit from some therapy:</p>
<p>“Not that I want to push her away, I really would love for her to stay close to home (or even AT home) but I secretly wanted her to choose BU or Rutgers, primarily because they are far away and will force her to be become independent.”</p>
<p>Why would the parent want her to live at their home during college? On one hand, they’re thinking of sending dd across the country; on the other, going to USC could mean that the dd never have to leave her bedroom. OP doesn’t mention that money is an issue. I’m not saying that the parent (I assume it’s a mom writing?) has a severe mental disorder or anything, but it’s clear that even she sees that there’s an issue and is open to trying to solve it. I think a little therapy would help her a lot.</p>