<p>Doesn’t it seem contradictory to want a kid to make his/her own decisions and then push for him/her to go away? Then isn’t it mom’s decision all over again?</p>
<p>Perhaps the process is more important than the outcome.</p>
<p>It’s hard to stay out of their lives, but the more we do it, the easier it gets.</p>
<p>I have been right about many things and watched the kids stumble and make mistakes because I held back or they didn’t listen to me. The great thing about this is that they got stronger. It’s a paradox of life that losses and mistakes often make us stronger than gains and wins, not that we wish them on our kids.</p>
<p>And I have often been wrong while they’re right. I am not a tuned into their futures as they are.</p>
<p>So, if your kid wants to stay close, shouldn’t you let him/her without pressure?</p>
<p>Neither of my kids wanted to look west of western Mass. I used to say west of the Hudson until I realized that S’s school was slightly west of the Hudson. From my pressure, one did apply to U of Chicago, was accepted, but then didn’t even go to see it.</p>
<p>Their opinion was that there are so many wonderful schools in NY, MA, CT, VT, ME why would should they venture out?</p>
<p>They wanted to stay close to family, have their parents see their performances, come home when they wanted to and avoid planes. </p>
<p>Each had a great experience in college and managed to keep connections to high school friends and family. One spent a year in London, so it wasn’t fear that was motivating this decision but desire.</p>
<p>I think it’s great if kids want to go to school on the other side of the country, but if they don’t, I don’t really think it’s an issue parents need to be involved with. JMHO.</p>